Time suddenly seemed to be on fast forward. With the speed of a thought that was gone before it was barely formed, one, two, then three days flashed by. Neil’s routine, by now so familiar to Harlan, never once varied — work, sleep, off-licence, Susan’s house, pick up Kane, hand out leaflets, work, sleep…The relentless tediousness of it numbed Harlan’s brain, blotting away all thoughts except those that flowed from the question: why had Neil lied? The question whirled round and round in his head, even though he knew he wouldn’t find the answer there.
On the fourth night, Harlan parked at the hospital, and as had become his habit, after watching Neil head into A amp;E, went for coffee and doughnuts. As he queued, he thought with mixed feelings about phoning Jim. On the one hand, he would’ve liked more time to follow Neil. But on the other, he was acutely aware that Susan deserved to know about Neil’s lying, regardless of what lurked behind it — be it shame, fear or something more sinister. Harlan paid, turned to leave and found himself staring into Neil’s eyes. Both men blinked in surprise. Neil’s watery blue pupils darted about as if looking for an escape. “What are you doing here?” he asked with a swallow in his voice.
Keeping his expression carefully deadpan, Harlan raised his box of doughnuts in answer. He stepped around Neil and headed for the exit. “Fuck, shit,” he muttered under his breath, feeling Neil’s eyes follow him until he was out of sight. The last thing he wanted was for Neil to realise he’d been tailing him. Not only because it would put him on his guard, but because if there was something sinister behind his lie it might panic him into doing something rash. He tried to phone Jim. No answer. “I need to talk to you,” he told the answering service. “Call me as soon as you can.” He waited five minutes, fretfully sipping coffee, then tried again. Still no answer. For fuck’s sake, he thought. Jim was never without his mobile phone, so why the hell wasn’t he answering? “Price made me. We have to get him off the streets as quickly as possible,” he said, then hung up.
Ten more minutes passed. Harlan stared at his phone as if willing it to ring, but it remained infuriatingly silent. Thrusting it into his pocket, he made his way back to his car. He approached it warily, scanning the car-park for Neil. He was nowhere to be seen. He got into the car and started it up. As much as he was reluctant to leave Neil unwatched, he couldn’t risk spending the night there. He pulled out of the parking-space, jamming his foot on the break as Neil appeared from behind a van. Neil’s eyes weren’t dancing now. They were fixed on Harlan. Pushing his glasses up on his nose, he approached the driver’s side window. “Are you following me?” He still sounded nervous, but there was a kind of forced courage behind his voice.
Harlan motioned with his chin at the front passenger door. “Get in.”
Hesitantly, Neil made his way to the door and ducked inside. Harlan accelerated towards the car-park’s exit. “Hey, what you doing?” said Neil. “I’m working. I only nipped out for a sandwich. I’ll get in trouble if I’m not back on the wards soon.”
Harlan made no reply. As he pulled into the last remnants of the rush-hour traffic, he watched Neil out of the sides of his eyes, studying every movement of his features.
“Where are we going?” persisted Neil. More stony silence. “Hey, I asked you-” he started to say, but his nerves got the better of him, and the words stuck in his throat. He sat stiffly with his thin hands clasped in his lap. His tongue flicked at his lips. His eyes flicked at Harlan. That dancing look came into them again as the car turned onto the Penistone Road. One of his hands moved towards his coat pocket.
“Don’t,” said Harlan, his voice hard with warning.
“I just need to phone my manager, let him know I’m okay.”
Harlan shook his head, holding out his hand. “Give me your phone.”
“What for?”
“Just fucking do it.”
Neil reluctantly handed over his phone. It started to ring. ‘Susie’ flashed up on the screen. “Who is it?” asked Neil. His eyes widened when Harlan told him. “Let me talk to her. Please, it must be something important. She never usually rings me at work.”
Harlan put the phone in his pocket, watching closely for Neil’s reaction. A slight flush rose into Neil’s cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again without doing so.
“Go on, say what you were going to say,” said Harlan, wanting to see if he could draw some kind of angry response from Neil.
Blinking, Neil dropped his gaze to his lap. They drove on in silence, passing a number 77 bus. Neither of them exchanged a word until they pulled over outside ‘Ace Racing’. Then Harlan turned to Neil and gave him the hard stare he’d perfected as a cop, the one which said, I know everything so you might as well spill it. Neil’s eyes flickered crazily all over the pace, but he held his silence. “How much do you owe?” Harlan’s voice was even and low, but there was a weight behind it that was calculated to knock Neil off balance.
“I…I…” stammered Neil, then he sucked his lip into his mouth and pinched it between his teeth, staring at his clasped hands.
Like a father disappointed in a child, Harlan sighed and shook his head. “Listen up, Neil, at the moment I’m the only one who knows about this. If you want to have any chance of keeping it that way, you’d better tell me what I want to know right now.” No matter what Neil told him, he had no intention of keeping it between them. Using a lie to uncover the truth always left a sour taste in his mouth, but he’d long ago come to accept that the ability to do so was one of the most important tools in any detective’s toolbox.
Neil released his lip suddenly and touched a finger to it. Blood. He stared at the crimson droplet as if trying to work out what it was. “Nearly ten thousand.” His voice was tiny as the squeak of a mouse.
“Is it a gambling debt?”
“I’ve never gambled in my life. It was a loan.”
“What for?”
Neil gave a slight shrug. “A car, clothes, furniture, rent for my flat.”
“But you live with your parents.”
“I do now, but a few years ago I moved out and lived in a flat in Ranmoor.”
Harlan’s eyebrows lifted. Ranmoor was an upscale suburb on the south side. Neil obviously had ambitions to escape Manor Lane. “That’s a long way from the Manor.”
Neil’s nose wrinkled as if the word ‘Manor’ smelled bad, but he said nothing.
“What’s the flat’s address?”
“340 Manchester Road. Flat 1b.”
“Nice place was it?”
Again a shrug. “It was just a one bed-roomed basement flat, but I liked it.”
“How long did you live there?”
“A couple of years.”
“So you lived above your means and ended up having to run home to mum and dad. That must’ve hurt.”
Neil remained silent, but his expression answered all.
“Who put you in contact with Dawson?”
“A friend.”
“Name?”
“Dave Brierly. A guy I play darts with.” Neil’s eyes blinked as though he had a pain behind them. “He told me not to go to Dawson, but I didn’t listen. I must’ve been mad. I never seem to be able to pay off what I owe. The debt just keeps getting bigger.”
“That’s how scumbags like Dawson operate.” Looking at Neil’s tired boy-man face, Harlan felt a needle of sympathy. Alcoholic father, Manor Lane, no prospects — the kid hadn’t exactly been dealt much of a hand. He pushed the emotion aside. He couldn’t afford sympathy, not considering what was at stake. “Why didn’t you tell the police about your debt?”
“I’ve never told anyone about it. Not even my parents.”
“Why?”
Neil was silent a moment, then he said quietly, “I was ashamed. When I had to give up my flat and return home, I felt such a…a…” He trailed off as if he couldn’t bear to say the word.
Harlan said it for him. “Failure.”
Neil nodded, his head hanging low as if a heavy weight was pressing on the back of it.
“And is that why you haven’t told Susan either?”
“That and because, well, she’s already got so much to deal with. I don’t just mean with Ethan, I mean with her being a single mum and barely having enough money to get by. I was afraid that if she found out she’d leave me. You can understand that, can’t you?”
“Sure I can, but I don’t think that’s all there is to it. Is there, Neil?”
Eyes wide and glistening, Neil jerked his head up. “What do you mean?”
“A young boy’s been abducted and you’re hiding things from the police. You must see how that looks.”
“I know it looks bad, but you’ve got to believe me it’s got nothing to do with Ethan’s abduction.” Neil pressed his hand over his heart in avowal. “I love that boy. Since he was taken I’ve done everything I can to try and help get him back. I’ve handed out thousands of missing-person posters, I’ve helped organise fundraisers, I’ve-”
“Maybe you’re just trying hard not to look suspicious,” cut in Harlan. “I’ve been involved in plenty of murder investigations where someone’s come forward to offer their help only to turn out to be the killer.”
“Why would I take Ethan?”
“Plenty of reasons. Maybe you sold him to a paedophile ring. Maybe you’re a paedophile yourself. Or maybe you’ve cooked up some plan to get your hands on the reward money.”
Neil shook his head vehemently, eyes bulging at Harlan. “You’re crazy.” His voice rose as indignation overcame his submissiveness. “I love Ethan.”
Ah, so you can get angry, thought Harlan, returning Neil’s stare impassively. “So you said.” He took out his phone and pushed its buttons as slowly and deliberately as he was pushing Neil’s.
“Who are you phoning?”
“The police.”
A sick look came over Neil’s face. “But you said if I told you what you wanted to know you’d keep this between just you and me.”
“I said there was a chance of it. But you haven’t told me anything that’s convinced me not to phone them.”
“I…I-” Desperation made Neil’s voice break. He cleared his throat, before blurting out, “If you tell the police about me, I’ll tell them about you and Jones.”
A hint of a crooked smile crept across Harlan’s lips. The cracks in Neil’s mask of timidity were rapidly growing. It wouldn’t take much more pulling and prodding to reveal his true face. “If you knew me, you’d know that wasn’t a threat to me.”
Neil’s eyes dropped apologetically from Harlan’s. “I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.” He breathed a sigh of shame and despair. “I know you’re only doing what you have to do. But that’s all I’m doing too. You see, the thing is, Susan’s the first, the only woman who’s ever looked twice at me. She means more to me than anything. If she leaves me I…I don’t know what I might do. So I’m asking you, begging you, please don’t tell the police.”
There was no lie Harlan could detect in Neil’s voice. All he heard was a pleading, almost pathetic desire to love and be loved. Again, in spite of himself, he felt a stirring of sympathy. He knew what it was like to lose everything that meant anything. He knew what it was like to feel that life is too painful to live. The thought of inflicting that on someone, anyone, else was a torment to him. Again, he slammed a door in his mind, shutting the emotion out. As much as he wanted to believe Neil, he couldn’t risk doing as he asked. “I’ve got to.”
Neil’s features crumpled like a cardboard box left out in the rain. “Okay, tell the police.” His voice was crushed by hopelessness to a whisper. “But before you do, please will you let me tell Susan myself?”
Harlan considered this a moment, then nodded. He took out Neil’s phone and scrolled through its contact’s list for Susan’s number. “Tell her you want to meet at the hospital.”
“Can’t I just go to her house?”
“No. I can’t risk going to her house.”
“You mean you’re going to be there when I tell her.” When Harlan nodded, Neil continued, “I’m not sure I can do it with you there.”
“You’ve got no other choice.”
Harlan pressed the dial button. When Susan picked up, he put the phone on loud-speaker. Her voice came down the line with urgency. She sounded different to how he’d ever heard before — unguarded, less angry, more fragile. “I’ve been trying to ring you. Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” Before Neil had chance to reply, Susan continued, “I rang Detective Greenwood and he said he didn’t have time to talk. He wouldn’t say why. I got the feeling something’s going on.”
“You get that feeling every time you talk to the police,” said Neil.
“I know, but this time I’m certain of it. Something’s not right. It’s like I keep saying, the police know more than they’re telling us. Oh Christ, Neil, what if…what if they’ve…” Susan’s voice quivered breathlessly as she tried to bring herself to say what she barely dared think.
“Calm down, Susie.” Neil’s voice was soft, reassuring. “Remember what the doctor said to do when you feel like this, take a couple of deep breaths and count to five.” As Susan sucked in her breath, he counted slowly, “One…two…three…four…five… That’s it. Now exhale and say after me, if there were any important developments they’d have told me.”
“If there were any important developments they’d have told me.” Susan sounded calmer, but unconvinced. Harlan wasn’t convinced either. Thinking about how Jim hadn’t answered his phone, he suspected Susan’s instincts were right. Something might well be going on. But what? Was it possible they’d found Ethan alive? No. If that were the case, they’d have told Susan. More likely they’d found a body and were waiting for positive identification. Or perhaps they had a new lead on Ethan’s kidnapper. Whatever it was, it obviously didn’t involve Neil, unless…It occurred to Harlan with a jolt that maybe he was the development. Maybe the police were surveilling them right now. His eyes scoured the street for potential unmarked police vehicles. There were none. He cut off his line of thinking, reminding himself that in all his days of tailing Neil he’d seen nothing to make him suspect the police were doing likewise. Stop speculating on what you don’t know, he told himself sharply. Focus on what you do know. The facts, only the facts.
“There. Now don’t you feel better?” said Neil.
“I suppose so. Thanks, babe. You know, I don’t know what I’d have done without you these past few weeks.”
“You’d have got through it. You’re stronger than you think.”
“No I’m not.”
Neil looked meaningfully at Harlan, who was astonished to find himself questioning whether he was doing the right thing. Neil was Susan’s main support. If he was pulled away from under her, there was no telling how far she might fall. Do you really have to do that to her, after everything else you’ve done? agonised Harlan. Almost the instant he asked the question, some other part of his brain shot back the answer: yes.
“Tell her you need to see her,” Harlan mouthed silently at Neil.
Neil’s Adam’s apple bobbed. His words came hesitatingly. “Listen, Susie, I…we need to talk.”
“I thought that’s what we were doing.”
“No, well, yes we are, but I need to see you.”
“What? Now?”
Wringing his hands, his voice nearly disappearing within the folds of its reluctance, Neil said, “Yes. I’ve…err…got something to say to you.”
“So say it.”
“I can’t. Not over the phone. It’s too important.”
“What’s so important you can’t say it over the phone?” Harlan heard the frown in Susan’s voice. He winced inwardly as, a note of panic creeping back in, she continued, “Is it about Ethan?”
“No,” Neil said quickly. “It’s about me. Look, just meet me outside A amp;E as soon as you can, will you.”
“Can’t you come here?”
“I can’t be off the wards for that long.”
“What about Kane? I can’t just leave him here on his own.”
“So drop him off at one of his friends’ houses.”
“I don’t know. It’s getting a bit late for that and I…Look, can’t you just tell me what you’ve got to tell me?”
Neil sighed. “Will you come or not?”
Susan was silent a moment, then, sighing too, she said, “Okay, but you’d better have something big to tell me.”
Harlan hung up and returned Neil’s phone to him. He turned the car and accelerated back the way they’d come. Neil sat slumped down in his seat, his expression swaying between misery and resignation. When the hospital came into view, he turned to Harlan suddenly. “There must be something I can say to convince you this is unnecessary.”
“Maybe there is,” said Harlan, although there wasn’t.
“I’m taking every extra shift I can to pay off Dawson. I’ve upped my repayments to two hundred a week. He says if I keep it up my debt will be cleared in a year-and-a-half. Then I’ll be able to apply for a mortgage, and me, Susan, Kane and-” Neil caught himself on the verge of saying ‘Ethan’. “We can live together in our own place. And maybe me and Susan can get married and have kids. We can have a real life together. Don’t take that away from us.”
A real life. At these words, an image came into Harlan’s mind of Tom playing with his toys on the hearth-rug while he and Susan chatted and read the Sunday newspapers. A real life. A life that’d been taken from him through no fault or action of his own. Anger suddenly surged up in him. “I’m not taking anything away from you,” he snapped. “You’ve done that to yourself.”
“I only did it to save Susan from-”
Harlan shot Neil a glance that silenced him. As they parked, Neil sagged back down into his seat, his eyes wet and glistening in the bright yellow light of A amp;E’s ambulance bay.
They sat in silence for twenty or so minutes, until a taxi pulled up and Susan got out. “Call her over,” said Harlan. When Neil didn’t make a move to do so, he added, “Call her over, or I will.”
Neil opened his window and shouted to Susan. When she saw Harlan’s car, the lines etched into her features by the weeks of worry deepened. “What’s he doing here?” she demanded to know, the openness that Harlan had heard on the phone replaced by her familiar guardedness.
“Get in and I’ll tell you.”
Susan hesitated to do so, uneasy suspicion rippling over her face, her eyes flicking back and forth between Neil and Harlan, as though she was trying to work out if they were in some way in league together. With a slight shake of her head, she seemed to dismiss whatever she was thinking. She ducked into the backseat, but didn’t shut the door. Arms crossed, she waited to hear what Neil had to say. He stared at his lap, pale as a condemned man. His mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. “Tell her or I-” Harlan started to say.
“Okay, okay,” broke in Neil. With a tight breath, he lifted his gaze to meet Susan’s. Her thin lips grew thinner still, as he said, “There’s something about me I’ve been hiding from you. The thing is, Susie, I…erm…You know I said I was saving to buy a place of my own. Well I’m not. Not yet anyway. I am going to, but first I’ve got to pay off a debt. You see, I took out a loan from this guy, Gary Dawson.”
“How much?” Susan’s voice was calm, but an undercurrent of growing anger was perceptible.
“Only four thousand, but now I owe him nearly ten.”
“And do the police know about this?”
“No.”
“So you’ve lied to me and the police.”
“Yes, but only because there’s no need for them to know. This has got nothing to do with-”
Susan’s hand lashed out and Neil felt the same sting of her nails that Harlan had on more than one occasion. “Don’t say it,” she hissed. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare say my boy’s name.”
Tears spilled over Neil’s eyes. “But it’s the truth. Please, Susie, you’ve got to believe me.”
“How can I? If you’d told me about this right away after this all started, I might’ve been able to. But now…” Shaking her head, Susan repeated, “How can I?”
“Because I love you and I love Ethan and Kane.”
“If you really loved us, you’d have told the truth.”
“I was trying to protect you.”
“No!” Susan stabbed an accusatory finger at Neil. “You lied to protect your own pathetic hide. Remember what Detective Greenwood said — he said, somebody out there’s holding that vital piece of information that’s needed to solve the case, and they might not even realise it. So we need to know everything you know, no matter how insignificant you think it is. Do you remember that, Neil?”
Neil nodded desolately.
“How do you know it wasn’t this guy, this Gary Dawson, who took Ethan?”
“He wouldn’t do something like that.”
“Wouldn’t he? Maybe he’s using Ethan to force you to pay up.”
Neil shook his head. “He’s a loan-shark, not a child abductor. And anyway, he doesn’t need to force me to pay. I’m already handing over half my wage-packet to him.”
“Neil’s right,” put in Harlan. “I don’t know much about Dawson, but I do know it wouldn’t make any sense for him to kidnap Ethan — at least, not on account of a ten thousand pound debt.”
“So you don’t think this…this fucking nightmare has got anything to do with Neil’s debt.” Susan looked at Harlan with a conflicted gleam in her eyes that suggested she was caught between the desperate desire to find out what’d happened to Ethan, and an almost equally desperate hope that it had nothing to do with Neil.
“I didn’t say that.”
“It hasn’t,” said Neil, shrill with the need to be believed. “I swear on my life. I love you, Susie. I’d never do anything to hurt you. I know I’ve messed up big-time. I know I should’ve told the police, but I panicked at the thought that I might lose you.”
“You were right, you might have lost me,” said Susan. “But now you definitely have.”
More tears bubbled up and ran down Neil’s face. He clutched at Susan’s hand like a drowning man. “Please don’t do this. I’m so, so sorry. I’ll make this up to you.”
Susan shoved Neil’s hand away. “You can’t. Not unless you can bring back my little boy.” She leaned forward suddenly, her eyes like needles. “Can you do that?”
Neil’s voice matched the intensity of Susan’s gaze, as he said, “No, but I can try. I’ll do everything I can to prove how much I love you. Just give me a chance. I swear to God, I’ll either make this right or die trying.”
Seemingly stunned by the force of Neil’s words, her inner turmoil and uncertainty written in the shifting lines of her face, Susan hesitated to reply. She flinched at the shrill ring of Harlan’s phone. He snatched it out, and seeing Jim’s name on its screen, he said, “I’ve got to take this.” Giving Neil a warning look, as if to say, don’t even think about moving, he got out of the car. “I’ve been trying to call you,” he said into his phone. “Why aren’t you answering your phone?”
“I’ll tell you in a moment,” said Jim, sounding utterly worn out. “First you tell me why it’s so important that we get Price off the streets.”
Harlan told his ex-partner about Neil’s debt.
“Interesting.”
“I’d say it’s more than interesting.”
“Where’s Price now?”
“In my car.” When Harlan’s reply elicited a hiss of displeasure, he added, “And before you start getting shitty with me, I’m not forcing him to be there, he approached me to talk.”
“And what’s he told you?”
“Nothing much I didn’t already know. He claims he lied because he was afraid Susan would leave him.”
“That’s most probably true.”
Harlan’s eyebrows came together in a frown. “What makes you say that? Come on, Jim, out with it. What the hell’s going on?”
“First things first. Where are you?” When Harlan told him, Jim said, “Stay there. I’ll send someone to pick Price up.”
“Why can’t you come yourself?”
“Because I’m in Manchester.”
Harlan recalled that the police had been searching for connections between Ethan’s abduction and a boy who’d gone missing in Prestwich. What was his name? Jamie Sutton. Yes, that was it. He’d gone out riding his bike and never come home. “You’ve found the Sutton boy.”
“No. Another boy’s been abducted just a few miles from where Jamie Sutton went missing. His name’s Jack Holland, and he’s seven-years old.”
“Jesus. What happened?”
As though the words were heavy weights that had to be hauled out of him from a great depth, Jim said, “Jack and his fourteen-year old brother, Mark, were at some shops near their home. Mark went into one, leaving Jack playing on his scooter outside. When Mark left the shop approximately five minutes later, the scooter was still there but Jack wasn’t. Mark saw a white transit van driving fast away from the shops.”
“Did he get the reg?”
“No.”
“Did anyone else see anything?”
“If they did, we haven’t talked to them yet.”
“So you don’t know for sure that the kid was abducted. He could’ve just wandered off.”
“He could have, but I don’t think he did. I think he was abducted. I’ll go even further than that and say that I think he was abducted by the same person who took Ethan Reed.”
Harlan puffed his cheeks. “That’s a pretty big assumption to make based on what you’ve told me.”
“If it was based on that alone, yes, it would be. But there’s something I haven’t told you yet. Something about Jack Holland. Actually, maybe it’d be better if I just show you.”
“What do you mean, show me?”
“I’m sending you a picture of Jack Holland.”
Harlan’s phone beeped as the picture came through. When he saw it, his mouth fell open. Jack Holland had the same pale, delicate features, the same faraway blue eyes, even the same wavy, straw-blond hair as Ethan Reed. There were differences between the boys — Jack had a dark mole on his left cheek, and his face was perhaps a shade chubbier. But at a glance they could’ve been mistaken for identical twins. “Are they related? Jack and Ethan, I mean.”
“No.”
“So…so…” Harlan trailed off as his mind scrambled to make sense of all the possible implications of what he was seeing.
“So either this just a monumental coincidence or someone out there has very specific tastes.”
“There’s no such thing as coincidence.”
Jim grunted in agreement. “Now you understand why I think Price is more than likely telling the truth. This isn’t about money. This guy, whoever he is, is a predatory sexual deviant of the worst kind. And, as you know, scumbags like that usually operate alone.”
“Usually, but there’s a chance this one doesn’t, right? I mean, Jamie Sutton was a good few years older than Ethan and Jack. So either this perverted fuck goes for older boys as well, or he’s got a partner with different tastes.”
“That’s a possibility, assuming Ethan and Jack’s cases are connected to Jamie’s, which we’re not convinced they are. But even if they are, it doesn’t put Price in the frame. In fact, I’d say it does the opposite. Think about it. Assuming Price does have a taste for boys like Jamie Sutton, how come he’s never tried anything on with Kane Reed?”
“Maybe he has.”
“If that were true, do you really think Kane wouldn’t have spilled to us by now?”
No, Harlan didn’t think so. He glanced into the car. Susan was staring at him as if trying to read his lips. Neil’s head hung forward, eyes closed. He could’ve been mistaken for a corpse. Just one more casualty in the trail of desolation that lay in the wake of all such crimes. Harlan heaved a sigh. “So who are you sending for Price?”
“Don’t worry. It’s someone you can trust not to tell Garrett about your involvement. Listen, Harlan, I can’t talk anymore now. Things are pretty hectic here. I’ll call you if there are any new developments.”
“Good luck.”
Harlan hung up. He stared at the photo of Jack Holland a moment longer. Then, with a sick and weary look in his eyes, he got back into the car. “Who was that?” Susan asked anxiously.
“A friend. A policeman. There’s been a development.”
“I knew it! I knew something was going on.” Susan’s voice grew hesitant, as if she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to her question. “Have they found Ethan?”
“No. There’s been another abduction.” Harlan showed Susan the photo. She sucked in her breath, putting a trembling hand to her mouth as he briefly filled her in on the details.
Neil craned his neck to see the phone’s screen. His eyes widened, horrified, yet with a spark of wild hope mixed in. “Don’t you see? Don’t you see, Susie? This proves none of this has got anything to do with me.” He turned to Harlan. “Tell her. Tell her I’m right.”
“It’s hard to say what this proves right now.”
“But if this sicko’s snatching other kids, then-”
“Shut up, Neil,” broke in Susan, glaring at him as though she might slap him again. Transferring her gaze to Harlan, she asked in a quiet, almost tender voice, “Do you think your friend could get a message to Jack’s parents? Just to let them know they’re not alone. That I know what they’re going through.”
“I’ll ask him.”
Dropping her eyes back down to the photo, Susan reached to gently stroke her fingers over Jack’s face. “God, he’s so beautiful.” She looked away suddenly, tears spilling down her cheeks, her face contorting into quivering scowl. Spittle flecked her lips as she said, “It makes me want to kill, thinking about what might be happening to him.”
They sat unspeaking in the gathering gloom — Susan letting her tears fall silently; Neil pale, his lips drawn into a tight line; Harlan staring at A amp;E, trying not to think or feel for a while, but knowing that was impossible. A car pulled up in front of A amp;E. DI Sheridan got out of it, glancing around. Harlan flashed his headlights and she headed in his direction. “Get out,” he told Neil.
Neil shot Susan a final pleading glance. “I meant what I said, Susie. I’m gonna make this right. You’ll see.” When she refused to meet his eyes, heaving a breath, he got out of the car. DI Sheridan took hold of his arm, and with a brief nod at Harlan, guided him towards her car.
“Do you really think Neil’s got anything to do with this?” asked Susan.
Harlan knew what she wanted. She wanted what so many others had sought from him in the past — hope. But as much as he hated to see her pained, imploring eyes he couldn’t give it to her, not while there was even the slightest chance it might turn out to be false. “I don’t know.”
“Oh Christ, I hope he doesn’t. I let him into the kids’ lives. I’ll never be able to forgive myself if he’s part of this.”
Harlan started the engine. “I’ll give you a lift home.”
Susan looked at him uncertainly, as if she wasn’t sure whether to accept a lift. Then she let out a breath that seemed to come from her feet. “I’ve got to pick up Kane from his friend’s house.”
“What’s the address?”
“Just drive. I’ll tell you where to go on the way.”
Following Susan’s directions, Harlan drove to a terraced house several streets away from her own. She got out and rang the doorbell. A moment later, the door opened and Kane stepped out. Anger festered in his sullen, simmering hazel-brown eyes like an open wound. When he saw Harlan, his mouth twisted with bitterness. “What’s he doing here?”
“Giving us a lift home,” said Susan.
Kane glared at her incredulously. “No way am I getting in that car!”
“Please, Kane.”
“No. No fuckin’ way.”
Susan’s voice rose. “Don’t you use that language with me.”
“You said you were going out to talk to Neil. You lied.”
“No I didn’t. Look, Kane, something’s happened. Something to do with-” Susan broke off, glancing around as if afraid of being overheard. “This isn’t the place to talk about this. Just get in the car, will you?”
Kane shook his head furiously. “How can you have anything to do with him?”
“I don’t want to, but I have to.”
“Why?”
“You know why. Now come on, get in.” Susan caught Kane by the arm, dragged him towards the car and opened the rear door. He kicked it shut, then kicked it again, denting it. “Kane, stop that!”
Jerking away from Susan and darting Harlan a look of violent hostility, Kane ran across the street. “Get back here,” shouted Susan. He ignored her. She ducked her head into the car. “Sorry about your door.”
“No need,” said Harlan. He would’ve gladly let Kane work the car over with a baseball bat if it helped him work off some of his rage.
“I’ll have to go after him.” Susan started to turn away from Harlan, but hesitated. Not looking at him, her voice barely audible, she said, “Thanks.”
Thanks. The word reverberated in Harlan’s mind as he watched Susan chase after Kane. What did it mean? That she’d forgiven him? He dismissed the thought. She was grateful for what he’d done, but that didn’t mean she’d forgiven him. There was only one way she’d ever do that, and maybe not even then. Still, it briefly buoyed his spirits. But then his thoughts returned to Ethan and Jack, and everything inside him grew heavy again.