4:11am
"So where do you think it came from?" Lee said.
"What do you mean?" Davis said. "We know where it comes from."
"No," Lee said, "I mean, before."
"Its secret origin," the lieutenant said.
"Yeah," Lee said.
"How should I know?" Davis said.
"You're the man with the plan," Lee said. "Mr. Idea."
The lieutenant said, "I take it you have a theory, Lee."
Lee glanced at the heap of coals that had been the fire. "Nah, not really."
"That sounds like a yes to me," the lieutenant said.
"Yeah," Han said.
"Come on," Davis said. "What do you think?"
"Well," Lee said, then broke off, laughing. "No, no."
"Talk!" Davis said.
"You tell us your theory," the lieutenant said, "I'll tell you mine."
"Okay, okay," Lee said, laughing. "All right. The way I see it, this vampire is like, the advance for an invasion. It flies around in its pod, looking for suitable planets, and when it finds one, it parks itself above the surface, calls its buddies, and waits for them to arrive."
"Not bad," the lieutenant said.
"Hang on," Davis said. "What does it do for blood while it's Boldly Going Where No Vampire Has Gone Before?"
"I don't know," Lee said. "Maybe it has some stored in its coffin."
"That's an awful lot of blood," Davis said.
"Even in MRE form," the lieutenant said.
"Maybe it has something in the coffin that makes blood for it."
"Then why would it leave to go hunting?" Davis said.
"It's in suspended animation," Lee said. "That's it. It doesn't wake up till it's arrived at a habitable planet."
"How does it know it's located one?" Davis said.
"Obviously," the lieutenant said, "the coffin's equipped with some sophisticated tech."
"Thank you, sir," Lee said.
"Not at all," the lieutenant said.
"I don't know," Davis said.
"What do you know?" Lee said.
"I told you-"
"Be real," Lee said. "You're telling me you haven't given five minutes to wondering how the vampire got to where it is?"
"I-"
"Yeah," Han said.
"I'm more concerned with the thing's future than I am with its past," Davis said, "but yes, I have wondered about where it came from. There's a lot of science I don't know, but I'm not sure about an alien being able to survive on human blood-about an alien needing human blood. It could be, I guess; it just seems a bit of a stretch."
"You're saying it came from here," the lieutenant said.
"That's bullshit," Lee said.
"Why shouldn't it?" Davis said. "There's been life on Earth for something like three point seven
billion years. Are you telling me this couldn't have developed?"
"Your logic's shaky," the lieutenant said. "Just because something hasn't been disproved doesn't mean it's true."
"All I'm saying is, we don't know everything that's ever been alive on the planet."
"Point taken," the lieutenant said, "but this thing lives above-well above the surface of the planet. How do you explain that?"
"Some kind of escape pod," Davis said. "I mean, you guys know about the asteroid, right? The one that's supposed to have wiped out the dinosaurs? Suppose this guy and his friends-suppose their city was directly in this asteroid's path? Maybe our thing was the only one who made it to the rockets on time? Or maybe it built this itself."
"Like Superman," Lee said, "only, he's a vampire, and he doesn't leave Krypton, he just floats around it so he can snack on the other survivors."
"Sun," Han said.
"What?" Lee said.
"Yellow sun," Han said.
Davis said, "He means Superman needs a yellow sun for his powers. Krypton had a red sun, so he wouldn't have been able to do much snacking."
"Yeah, well, we have a yellow sun," Lee said, "so what's the problem?"
"Never mind."
"Or maybe you've figured out the real reason the dinosaurs went extinct," Lee said. "Vampires got them all."
"That's clever," Davis said. "You're very clever, Lee."
"What about you, sir?" Lee said.
"Me?" the lieutenant said. "I'm afraid the scenario I've invented is much more lurid than either of yours. I incline to the view that the vampire is here as a punishment."
"For what?" Davis said.
"I haven't the faintest clue," the lieutenant said. "What kind of crime does a monster commit? Maybe it stole someone else's victims. Maybe it killed another vampire. Whatever it did, it was placed in that coffin and sent out into space. Whether its fellows intended us as its final destination, or planned for it to drift endlessly, I can't say. But I wonder if its blood-drinking-that craving-might not be part of its punishment."
"How?" Lee said.
"Say the vampire's used to feeding on a substance like blood, only better, more nutritious, more satisfying. Part of the reason for sending it here is that all that will be available to it is this poor substitute that leaves it perpetually thirsty. Not only does it have to cross significant distances, expose itself to potential harm to feed, the best it can do will never be good enough."
"That," Lee said, "is fucked up."
"There's a reason they made me an officer," the lieutenant said. He turned to Han. "What about you, Han? Any thoughts concerning the nature of our imminent guest?"
"Devil," Han said.
"Ah," the lieutenant said.
"Which?" Lee asked. "A devil, or the Devil?"
Han shrugged.