After the hassle of the airport the open road was a welcome relief. It gave him time to prepare himself for his arrival in the old home town. He definitely needed to get his head straight before he got there. It wasn’t a bad place, just a little different.
Before he knew it he was coming up on the last bit, drove over a small hill and there it was. The name of the place was Newton but you wouldn’t have known it since the name had worn off the welcome sign. It had probably worn off the maps leading to it too.
Driving into the town almost felt as if you were taking a step back in time. The place looked like it had tried to progress with the rest of the world but had run out of energy halfway through. Cruising down the road that passed directly through the center of town, which was of course called Main Street, he saw just how little the place had changed.
It was the type of place that if you saw a tumbleweed blow by you wouldn’t be surprised to see it. He smiled to himself none the less. He was happy to be back even for such a bad reason. Everything was as familiar as the back of his eyelids. Things he grew up with and thought would surely be gone were still there.
The old grocery store, bank, fire station and everything else he remembered was still the same as he’d pictured it on the plane ride out. They looked almost as if they were somehow suspended in time. Unfortunately seeing them like this caused them to look like exactly what they were. Old rundown buildings that needed to be either torn down or updated to fit in better with the rest of the country. The town looked as if it wanted to live in the past, and the people living there didn’t seem to mind letting its way. Otherwise things would be different.
Coming to where the main area of the town used to end, Jim saw that there were a scattering of things the outside world had been able to inflict on the old place. Surprisingly, a couple of new fast food joints had popped up. They looked as if they’d sprung from the ground already made and ready to serve like so many of the ones he was used to in the city. One day it was an empty lot, the next there was a new place to buy a burger on your way to work. A Wal Mart was probably being birthed somewhere nearby if he didn’t know better. Seemed like every place no matter how big or small had one of those now a days. Not seeing one immediately present he chuckled imagining his town just might not rate highly enough on the big organizations food chain to get one. Yup, he thought, the old town was quite a ways behind the times but it was very slowly catching up. Maybe too slowly.
Jim tried concentrating on his driving but found it difficult as he looked from one place to another, his neck on a swivel, remembering old times. He drove past the tree that he’d been standing under when he received his first kiss at the age of seven. Looking for another tree close by that he and his friends used to climb all the time, he was surprised to see it wasn’t there anymore. In its place stood a sign that proudly proclaimed that this spot and all the surrounding area was going to be the location of a new Wal Mart.
I guess we do rate, he thought sadly. That tree had been a great place to sit on hot summer days, of which there’d been quite a few, and just relax and enjoy the breeze. Whether they were sitting there reading comic books or just talking about anything that came to mind, they were always cool.
Thinking of comic books brought back memories of one of the places he’d already passed. The old grocery store. When he was little his group of friends would go there almost daily to buy penny candy from the wall behind the register or to read whatever comic books they might happen to have available which usually wasn’t all that many but for the four of them were enough. It seemed like they spent half the summers there. The owner never seemed to mind. It was the exact opposite in fact, she actually encouraged them. She always told them reading was good for them, even if it was funny books and that a little candy never hurt anyone. This last part she always said with a wink and a secret type of smile only reserved for the kids. Thinking about the little old lady brought another sad smile to his face. Everybody in town used to call her Grandma. It didn’t matter if you were an adult or child, she was Grandma to everyone. Whenever you went in the store, there she was sitting behind the counter on her little uncomfortable looking stool. She ran the place all by her lonesome. Jim’s smile slowly faded as he thought of her. She was just another part of his past he would regret not having had a chance to say goodbye to. She’d surely passed away many years ago. There was probably someone new sitting behind the counter who probably wasn’t near as nice as Grandma had been. He didn’t even think he wanted to go there while he was home. It just wouldn’t be the same. That was Grandma’s place and anybody else sitting there would just tarnish his memory of her.
Finally arriving at what was surely the new outskirts of town he drove only for a few more seconds before turning down the first street he came to that lead to one of the two main housing developments the town boasted. Jim never understood why people chose to live here. It wasn’t really close to anything. There were no car factories or plants or anything for that matter that needed a lot of workers and yet the town still seemed to somehow exist. The next closest town, or what passed for it anyways, was a good forty five minutes away. A few of his friends’ parents had commuted when he was little so maybe that explained it. People wanted that rustic feel or something.
Discarding the ‘why’ people lived here thoughts he turned his attention to the development itself. Everything he could remember of his childhood seemed to center around New Ways Estates. From the moment he was born until the exact moment he finally left. Tommy and Rob’s families also lived in the development not too far from Jim’s so it had been almost inevitable they would eventually meet and become friends.
The three of them used to say they had been destined to meet like heroes they’d read about in their story books. The only member of their group who didn’t live there was Pete. His family lived in the slightly more upscale development on the other side of town. The people who lived in that neighborhood liked to look down their noses at everybody else. It wasn’t that they were better than the rest of the town they just thought they were. At least the adults did. Kids being kids, money didn’t stop them from meeting Pete one day while they were out playing and becoming the best of friends. In another town the money thing might’ve separated them but not here. The place was too small. Friends were made wherever they could be. Once the four of them had found each other there was no separating them. Their developments were on almost opposite sides of town which could have caused a problem but they quickly learned bikes were a great invention and put them to good use. They were a wonderful way of ensuring they could play together whenever they wanted.
Jim made a few unconscious turns as he made his way through the development. All his old memories were flooding back. He wasn’t really paying attention to where he was going. He was pretty much operating on instinct. Eventually he turned down a street that made what he was thinking of and seeing come together. This street was the one that led home.
Pulling up slowly in front of his mother’s house he glanced at the front lawn and tried not to think too much about how he and Tommy had once played there when they were little. Try as he might he couldn’t help but think of all the scrapped knees and grass stained pants they gotten there which made him quickly get out of the car and make his way to the door before he started crying. When he was only a few steps from the door it swung open and his mother stepped out with a sad smile on her face. He walked the few remaining steps and came to a halt in front of her. They stood looking at each other for a few seconds until he finally couldn’t hold it in any longer and began crying. She reached out and gently wrapped her arms around him in a comforting embrace murmuring soothing words in his ear as he wept. Seeing her had just made it all come crashing in.
She’d been there when they’d scrapped their knees. She’d been the one they asked for drinks after playing in the hot sun all day. She’d been the one that could always be counted on to be there when they needed her. Even thought she didn’t always approve of him Jim realized he wasn’t the only one who had lost Tommy, his mother had too.
After he ran out of tears and collected himself he stepped back, wiping his eyes with his sleeve and a sheepish smile, and looked at her. Not much had changed since the last time he’d seen her. She'd gone a little grayer in her short brown hair, mostly around her temples, and might’ve added on a pound or two. Other than that she was the same. If he had to place an age on her he didn’t think he’d be able to, to him she always looked young. One thing that wasn’t different was that he still had to bend down to give her a hug and kiss. Ever since he’d turned fifteen he’d been taller than her. With him now standing at six feet even she only reached to about his chin. He smiled thinking how big she used to seem to him and how he’d used to have to look up to her, now she was looking up at him. It was funny how things changed. She somehow managed to raise him and his sister without any help or major mess ups, so no matter what her height he would always look up to her.
“How are you doing honey?” she asked sympathetically as she took his arm and led him to the house.
“Bout as well as can be expected,” he said after thinking about it for a few seconds.
Walking through the living room Jim glanced around curiously. He hadn’t been home in a while and was interested in seeing if his mom had changed anything. When he was little she was always rearranging the furniture trying to make the place look bigger but everything seemed to have remained the same since the last time he’d visited. There were a few more pictures hanging on the wall of his sister and her family, but other than that there was no change. He tried to ignore the empty area on one wall mom set aside for him and the family she hoped he might one day have. He didn’t like looking at it. For some reason he always felt guilty when he did. Jim didn’t know if that space would ever be filled. He hoped with all his heart it would, but right now he just didn’t know.
Turning his thoughts to something else he sat at the table and watched his mother busy herself. She went to the refrigerator and pulled out a plate with a sandwich on it out.
“I figured you would be hungry when you got here so I made you this,” placing it in front of him. After making sure he started eating it she went back to the counter and poured two cups of coffee from the obviously freshly brewed pot and returned to the table. Sliding one in front of him she took a seat and took a sip of hers.
“It may be a little hot, so be careful,” she said as if trying to find something to say. He couldn’t help but smile. He was almost thirty years old and she was still watching out for him. She probably worried more about other people than she did herself.
While he ate she did most of the talking. Mostly it was the normal polite small talk people engaged in after not seeing each other for a while, tinted with a few personal things such as how each of them had been and who was doing what in the family. It was mostly a one sided conversation. Jim’s life wasn’t exactly what anyone would call exciting. Mom on the other hand made Jim seem like a shut in. She bragged almost constantly about the grandkids and his sister while he interjected every once in a while with a question or told her how boring his job was. She finally asked him if there was anyone important in his life which he sadly replied to with a quick no. He just as quickly reassured her that he was definitely looking for someone after seeing her face. It almost broke his heart. She wanted him to have someone almost as bad did. Course she also wanted more grandchildren to spoil. Seeing he wasn’t really in the mood to talk about it she eventually changed the subject to something a little more neutral. After what seemed like forever their conversation turned to the town and the people he’d grown up with. At first he didn’t really want to talk about them too much knowing Tommy would come up. She told him a story about one of the boys he’d went to school with getting drunk and passing out in the middle of Main Street he slowly came around and started asking about more and more people he’d known. Somewhat surprisingly, a lot of the people he went to high school with were still living in town and making quite a living doing it. Granted they all pretty much commuted back and forth, but regardless of that they were still here. There were some who’d moved away and never been heard from again.
When Rob’s name popped up she told him quite proudly about how he was doing such a great job as a deputy and how all her friends agreed that he might make a great sheriff one day. The old one was bound to retire soon and Rob was respected enough that he could probably get the job with little problem. Just the mention of the old sheriff made Jim feel uneasy. They never had seen eye to eye. He hoped he could make it through his visit without running into him (he didn’t want to think about what would happen they did meet).
Jim’s mother was telling another story about Rob which made Jim smile as he thought back to when they were younger. Back then each of the boys had called each others’ mother’s “Mom”. They were almost constantly over each other’s house so it was only natural. Jim’s mom really was almost like a mother to the other kids though. That was why she was so proud of Rob. Jim wasn’t jealous in the least. He knew other guys in his position might be but he wasn’t. He was just glad Rob was around. He hadn’t done many things his mom could brag about, she had to have someone. Since it wasn’t him it might as well be one of her other “kids”. Rob was as much one of her sons as he was and she took pleasure in how well he was doing so that was all that mattered.
Talking about Rob led to talking about others from his group. Pete was the next victim but she seemed to hedge around saying anything definite about him. While it was true all the boys had been part of each other’s families when they were little there was an exception. Pete’s family was just that. There was nothing wrong with them, they were just somewhat snobbish. None of the boys even thought about calling Pete’s mother “Mom” they hardly ever even heard Pete say it. It was always “Yes, ma am’” and “No, ma’ am” around her. Because of that they hadn’t hung out around there much. Jim’s mother had always liked all of Jim’s friends and hated saying anything mean about them so Jim knew it really bothered her to talk bad about Pete. If she could’ve said anything good she surely would’ve talked about that instead, but unfortunately there wasn’t much good to talk about concerning Pete. In Jim’s opinion he kinda brought it on himself by living out on the edge of the woods all by himself. She felt sorry for Pete and the unfortunate things he was going through. Jim’d heard he hadn’t had an easy time of it since he’d left. He’d also heard, from his mother, that Pete was hardly ever seen in town anymore except on the rare occasion he needed something. On those occasions he always showed up shabbily dressed, looking like some type of homeless person. If that wasn’t bad enough he made things worse by mumbling and talking to himself. He said things most people couldn’t understand but some of them did and they spread rumors. If anyone tried talking to him he just started rocking back and forth and mumbled something back at them. Luckily not too many people tried talking to him, his body odor kept them away pretty much. Rumor had it he didn’t bathe much. Recently, and this was what really upset his mother, some of the kids had taken to teasing him. They’d also started going out to his house at night and throwing rocks at it. The sheriff never caught anyone but his mother had heard them talking about it on more than one occasion. She’d gone and told Rob about it and he said he’d drive by every now and then and make sure Pete was ok but that was all he could do unless something worse happened. Mom didn’t think that was enough but knew there was nothing really Rob could do unless he caught the kids in the act.
Other than that Pete just came, got his food, got teased and picked on and left. Jim could tell his mother wished there was something more she could do, but knew there was nothing. It didn’t make her very happy that one of her boys was considered the town weirdo but unfortunately that was life.
After that bit of bad news was over with she surprised him and gave him a bit of good news. She happily told him that Grandma was still alive and kicking. About a year ago she’d finally quit working at the store and semi retired. Semi retired because instead of sitting at home taking it easy like a retired person was supposed to do, she could still be found making her way around town gossiping just like she used to do. The only difference now was that instead of the gossip coming to her she was going to it.
After a while the conversation drifted off into a slightly tense silence. Everything the two of them had wanted to talk about had been said. All that was left was the thing neither wanted to mention. Finally after a couple of minutes Jim broke the silence.
“So how did it happen?” he asked quietly.
“I was wondering when you were going to get around to asking,” she replied.
“Well, I didn’t really want to, but it’s not going to go away just because I want it to, so, I figured better now than later,” he snapped. “But,” he said a little more pleasantly after calming down, “I want to know so that I can have some sort of chance of getting over this whole thing. If I just keep thinking about it not knowing what really happened all I’ll do is make myself go crazy.” He watched her while waiting for her to speak. When she didn’t say anything after a few seconds he tried again. “Look Mom, I know I haven’t seen him in a while but he was one of my best friends, hell if you think about it I’ve known him for pretty much my whole life.”
“Well,” his mother began slowly, “I really don’t know all the details so I’m a little reluctant to say too much. I don’t want to get it wrong. If you want to know everything you’d have to talk to Rob. I heard he was there when they found him so he’d be your best bet. All I have really is gossip.” She paused and took a sip of her coffee. Jim wanted to hurry up and get this part over with. He really didn’t want to talk about how his friend had died but knowing would make it easier for him to accept so he had to do it. “Now then,” his mother began again, “from what I understand, Tommy went hunting by himself early that morning. Apparently he got out to his tree stand and was sitting there fine and dandy when for some unknown reason he fell out.”
“That doesn’t sound like something that would’ve killed him,” Jim said slightly confused. “His stand could only be about what, ten feet up? It might have hurt him a little bit, but it’s not something he should’ve died from. Even then it that thing was so hard I don’t think it would’ve done more than knock him out.” He didn’t know what it was but from the little he’d just heard something about this whole accident wasn’t making any sense. Falling from ten feet up wasn’t something a person should die from. Sure, it would hurt but Jim had heard of people falling from greater heights than that and coming out no worse for wear so why hadn’t Tommy?
“Jim, that’s not the only thing,” his mother said interrupting his thoughts. What else could there be, he thought.
She paused to collect her thoughts. He didn’t think he was going to like what she had to say. If her demeanor was any indication it wasn’t good, although not much recently had been. “I don’t like thinking of Tommy like this,” she said after a few seconds. “You’ll have to excuse me if it takes me a minute to get going,” she paused again. Jim didn’t want to hurry her but he was beginning to wonder what she was holding back that could be so bad that his mother was having this hard of a time speaking about it. She’d been around when other people had died but Tommy’s death must’ve been worse than anything else she’d experienced. It obviously wasn’t just another unfortunate accident that happened in most small towns.
“Jim,” his mother finally said, “once they found Tommy he wasn’t exactly just laying on the ground.”
“How couldn’t he be on the ground? If he fell he had to land somewhere. He wasn’t just floating was he?” Jim answered.
“No he wasn’t floating and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t be a smartass. This is hard for me too,” she answered smartly. Instead of saying anything else he picked up his coffee cup and took a sip. “He was stuck to a tree,” she said quietly just as he was about to swallow.
“A tree?” he squawked spitting out everything in his mouth. “How was he stuck to a tree? What are you talking about Mom?”
“Well, like I said, he fell,” she said as she started wiping up the mess he’d made, “but when he fell he didn’t exactly land on the ground. Now remember this is just a rumor. It could be nothing but gossip from them that do that sort of thing but from what I hear he supposedly landed on a broken tree of some sort.” He was about to ask just what the hell she was talking about when he looked up and saw that his mothers eyes were about to overflow. What she was saying didn’t make much sense but it also wasn’t her fault. She was just answering his question. He knew he shouldn’t be yelling at her and felt bad that he was, but unfortunately she was the only one there. How could somebody fall on a tree? He wondered. It just wasn’t something that happened, at least not around a place like this. He was trying to figure it out when it finally dawned on him.
“Wait a minute, you mean he was impaled?” he choked out hoping she would say no.
“Yes that’s exactly what I mean,” she said as tears began trickling over the edges of her eyelids. “I just didn’t want to say it like that. I really don’t like that word and I really don’t like thinking of Tommy in that way. It’s bad enough he’s gone I don’t have to think about how he went.” Jim watched the tears run down her face as he tried to comprehend how something like this could have happened.
“Are you alright?” his mother asked through her sniffles after she’d finished crying. He realized he hadn’t said anything for a few minutes. There was nothing he could think to say.
He heard her ask him something else but he didn’t respond to that either. His mind was lost in other thoughts. Impaled, echoed through his head. Thinking about it he realized he didn’t like the word either. It made Tommy’s death sound dirty. It also made it harder to believe. He almost thought this might be some kind of elaborate joke his friends had used to get him to come home for a visit. They were sure to jump out any minute and yell surprise. He looked up hoping they would but after a few seconds of nothing happening he realized this wasn’t a joke. It was all too real, he couldn’t believe it. Tommy had been an avid hunter from the time he was old enough to go all the way through high school and apparently right up til his death. Tommy used to love going out in the woods early in the morning and waiting for that one perfect moment when a deer walked into his sights. All that was left was to pull the trigger. If anybody ever asked him why he went he would tell them the thrill of the hunt was just as addicting as any drug could ever be and everything else seemed boring compared to it. He seemed to enjoy it so much that Jim had eventually allowed himself to be talked into going along so he could see what it was like. After his first kill he decided it wasn’t the thing for him. He’d gone a few more times just to make Tommy happy but always made sure he aimed a little off each time he took a shot. Tommy always thought something was wrong with Jim’s gun when this happened. Jim didn’t tell him he didn’t like it because he was afraid he would hurt his friend’s feelings, but after this type of thing happening every time, Tommy eventually figured it out on his own. After that he’d quit asking. He never said anything about Jim humoring him he’d just quit asking. It was just one of many examples of how Jim had grown apart from his friends. They liked simple things and Jim didn’t. It wasn’t their fault, if it was anyone’s fault it was his own.
He shook himself from the past and back to the present where his mother was still watching him with a concerned look on her face. He was still thinking about Tommy’s death. He just couldn’t understand how a person who’d been in and out of trees for most of his life could so easily fall out of one and not only hurt himself, but kill himself in the process. It just didn’t make any kind of sense. Tommy was always careful whenever he and Jim had gone out. He had continuously told Jim things that would ensure his safety. That was just how Tommy was. Obviously this time something went wrong he hadn’t planned for. Or something had happened that Tommy couldn’t have planned for.
“Jim? Are you alright?” his mother asked again, concern touching her voice. Judging by the look on her face he must’ve been ignoring her for some time. Instead of answering he buried his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes trying to make his mind accept the manner of his best friend’s death.
“How could something like this have happened?” he asked.
“Like I said,” his mother said as she slowly shook her head, “I only know what I’ve heard, if you want to know more I think you really should try to find Rob. He would know all the details. All I have is rumors. He a policeman plus he’s your friend, talk to him. Other than what I’ve already told you I don’t know anything else. I’m sorry sweetie, I wish I did. I wish there was some way I could make all this better but there isn’t. Rob is your best bet.” She looked at him for a moment then added, “I’m sorry I don’t know more.”
“It’s not your fault Mom,” he quickly said (she already felt bad enough he didn’t need to add to it by making her feel guilty because she didn’t know anymore). “It’s just; well it’s kind of hard to believe. I guess I’m still trying to get used to everything.” He shook his head slightly and ran his hands through his hair, “Impaled! How does something like that happen?” He still couldn’t see how it could’ve happened. He would definitely have to find Rob and see if he could shed any more light on this.
“I think I need some air,” he said getting to his feet. His mother watched him sympathetically as he walked to the door. “I think I’ll just go for a walk or something. Maybe look around a little bit. I just need some time to think about this a little. I might even try to find Rob while I’m out.” Waving goodbye, he walked out with thoughts of Tommy’s death running rampant through his head and how he was ever going to make himself accept that his friend was gone.