The steady stream of hot water temporarily soothed the guilt that consumed Margo. Her mind raced to her fling with Malik, hoping the suds from the body wash would erase her infidelity. She convinced herself that running to Malik’s doorstep was done in the heat of the moment-a sincere need to have the ears of a friend help her understand why Jefferson had a need to see Angelica. Instead, she found herself succumbing to the source that had plagued many of her dreams-a fantasy come true. And while she had enjoyed all of Malik’s attention, her mind was on Jefferson.
Stretching her neck upward, the water ran down and eased the tension there. A smile passed over her face as she thought of Jefferson. Everything was right with their lovemaking, and Margo wished she could erase the few hours beforehand that now made her feel dirty and guilty. Many of her friends said she was an idiot for taking him back, but she loved some Jefferson Myles. He was her man, and she was going to love him until the day she died.
Shame was driving her crazy. How was she going to tell Malik that it was over before it started? Tears welled up in her eyes. She had to put an end to this and soon. After today, she knew that Malik would be relentless in his pursuit of her, and the last thing she needed was for Jefferson to find out that she was no better than him.
“Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into?” she sobbed.
Just then, the door to the bathroom flew open. “Are you all right, Margo?” Jefferson asked. “I thought I heard you crying.”
“Were you listening at the door?”
“No, but you were loud enough to be heard throughout the whole house. That’s why I came in.”
“It’s okay, baby. I was crying tears of joy.”
Glad that she was on the other side of the frosted glass of the shower door, Margo wiped her eyes with her hands. The last thing she wanted was for Jefferson to know what had been running through her head and that she was feeling guilty over having sex with his best friend. She turned the shower off, but didn’t come out. Before she could offer up another explanation, Jefferson opened the door to the shower, walked in with his clothes on and kissed her.
Wet from head to toe, Margo kissed him back, glad to be in his embrace. She wanted to believe that everything was back on track, that their life together was on the mend, and they would not be touched again by the ugly forces on the outside. They embraced until Jefferson left, overcome by the steam.
“I love you, Margo, and always will. I’m going to go and meet Angelica and Edward at the funeral home, and I’ll be right back when I’m done. I’m going to fix dinner for you tonight. So get pretty; I won’t be long.” He blew her a kiss and was gone.
Margo walked out of the shower, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. Wet hair and all, she walked into her bedroom, lay down on the bed and drifted off to sleep. Dreams began to invade her subconscious: she naked in Malik’s bed, deep in the passion of lust, and he partaking of her body as if it was his last supper. Then the dream switched to her and Jefferson: she giving him what she wanted him to have; and then wanting to give him more, except that the twinge of guilt edged its way in, cutting off the emotion that no longer let her be free. She smiled, though, as her mind revisited Jefferson making love to her. He was ravenous and greedy, devouring her body with joy.
Deep in her subconscious, she heard a phone ringing, angry that it sought to disturb her. She needed this time to rest, to relax her mind and shake her head out of the confused state it was in. Jumping this time, she sat up. Her cell phone was ringing, and it might be Jefferson.
Without looking at the caller ID, she answered, “Jefferson?”
“Jefferson? This is Malik, Margo. You haven’t forgotten already how special our day was, have you?”
“Malik…oh, I’m sorry. I had dozed off, and I guess the phone startled me.”
“How do you feel? I know how I feel-on top of the world. If I was with you now, I’d make love to you again.”
Margo listened in horror. What was she going to say to Malik? There were no magic words she could summon that would put an end to the catastrophe she had created. Courage to deal with it at this moment was lost on her, so she would have to do her best to keep Malik at bay until the right moment presented itself.
“I can’t talk right now, Malik. Jefferson is in the other room, and I don’t want to risk him overhearing me.”
“Have you decided when you’re going to tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“Margo, what’s wrong with you? We agreed that Jefferson needs to know how we feel about each other. It’s only a matter of time before he knows for sure because, at this moment, I don’t want to be without you.”
“We’re moving too fast, Malik. I can’t just up and tell him out of the blue.”
“I’ll be there with you when you tell him. There is no way I’d let you do it by yourself. He might get violent.”
“Okay, let’s talk about it later. I need to get off the phone.”
“Can I see you tomorrow? You can come over to the house.”
“Tomorrow is not good. I’ve got houses to show all afternoon.”
“In the morning?”
“I’ve got a business meeting.”
“Margo, if it wasn’t for what happened between us this afternoon, I’d think you were trying to avoid me.”
“No, Malik,” she lied. “Tipping out on Jefferson was new to me. Vengeance isn’t in my blood.”
“You were tipping out on a no-good adulterer who still can’t keep his thing in his pants.”
“So what does that make me-a good adulterer? Malik, you’re not making sense.”
“What I’m trying to say is that Jefferson has hurt you time and time again. Even though he told you he was a different person, he’s still up to his old game. He hasn’t changed. He wants you to think that way because he has nothing left but you. If you weren’t there for him, his sorry ass would be out on the streets. I can’t believe he and I were once best friends.”
“What if Jefferson didn’t meet Angelica for what I thought?”
“You said yourself, you saw them go into the hotel. How much more convincing do you need? Look, sweetheart, I know that today was different and new for you because you’ve been a good and virtuous woman all of your life, but today was special in every way and we could have many more days like this. You would never have to worry about me cheating on you, ever.”
Margo sighed into the phone. “I feel…this was not right.” She wanted to say she felt dirty.
“The first time is always the hardest, but I promise that your second time, third, and on down the line will be nothing but ecstasy. I’ll let you go now. I’ll call you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”
Margo shut the phone without saying goodbye. The right moment might never come but, for certain, she had to put an end to this nightmare sooner rather than later.