After driving through the tangled trails and one-lane dirt byways of the Green River National Forest for more than an hour, it occurred to Loving that he was not at heart a country boy. Granted, he wasn’t quite as bound to concrete and smog as the Skipper; he did enjoy the occasional hunting or fishing expedition. But when all was said and done, he was not really at home in these leafy green surroundings. He missed city conveniences, like, for instance, street signs. And if he saw one more squirrel dart out in front of his car, he was flooring it.
Not that he would ever share these thoughts with the Skipper. Ben needed to feel someone on the team was competent in the Great Outdoors. If it made him comfortable to believe it was Loving, well, so be it. Like his daddy used to say, it’s not who you are that matters. It’s who people think you are.
The directions Doc had given Loving were vague at best. But Loving couldn’t complain-none of the other Green Ragers had helped him in the least. They all claimed they didn’t have the slightest idea where Kelly might have gone. Which was odd. Because Loving had the distinct impression that they did; they just didn’t want him to find her.
Now why would a bunch of do-gooders like Green Rage be keeping secrets? That was a question he found very interesting.
At long last, Loving spotted a low-lying wooden sign that directed him toward the SOPHIA CAMP. He turned his rental Jeep and drove another two miles or so in that direction. Finally, just around a sharp curve, he spotted a group of eight women at the top of a hill.
They were holding hands and, unless he was very mistaken, chanting.
Loving parked the Jeep, climbed out, and waited. He’d seen a picture earlier, so he knew which one he wanted. She was the one in the long blue sundress, short and heavyset, barefoot with long curly black hair.
Loving waited a good fifteen minutes until the ceremony was completed. He assumed it was a ceremony; for all he could tell it was an elaborate adult version of ring-around-the-rosy. But the closed eyes and solemn expressions suggested that something more serious was going on. Or at least that they thought something more serious was going on.
The group of eight began to disperse. A row of one-room log cabins lay a few hundred feet behind them, and Loving assumed that’s where they were headed. He quickened his pace, ran around the hill, and cut off the woman in blue before she reached the main cabin.
“Excuse me,” he said. “Are you Kelly Cartwright?”
The woman stopped, frowned. “It’s possible. Who wants to know?”
“My name’s Loving. I wanna talk to you about Green Rage.”
Her face became red and livid. “Are you a Fed? Goddamn it. You are, aren’t you? Don’t you people ever give up?”
“Ma’am, I’m not-”
“Couldn’t you go hassle a bank robber or serial killer or something? Why do you have to spend all your time bullying conservationists?”
“Ma’am, I’m not a Fed.” He pointed at his T-shirt. “See? No white shirt, no black tie. I’m not a cop, either.”
“Then what are you?”
Loving could think of about a million ways to answer that question, but figured it would be smarter to keep the conversation on track. “I’m a private investigator. I work for a lawyer in Magic Valley.”
An eyebrow rose. “Not the one who’s representing Zak.”
“Yeah. Ben Kincaid. You know him?”
“Well, I’ve heard a lot about him.” She frowned. “How’s he doing?”
“The trial’s just getting started. He’s got a theory involving a local drug dealer, but so far he doesn’t have much evidence to support it. Why?”
Her eyes darted away. “Oh … no reason. Just curious, I guess. So what do you want from me?”
“Information. You were still a member of Green Rage when the murder took place, weren’t you?”
“Yeah. I was Zak’s right-hand person.”
“That’s what I heard. Do you know anything about the murder? Anything that might help?”
“Well, I know Zak didn’t do it.”
“Were you with him? That night, I mean.”
“No, nothing like that. I just know Zak. He talks tough, but he wouldn’t hurt anyone.” She glanced back at the cabin. “Look, if we’re going to have this conversation, why don’t we step inside?”
Loving followed her through the cabin door. He had to turn sideways and duck just to get through; whoever designed the portal wasn’t thinking about people his size.
The furnishings were strictly utilitarian-a sofa, a bed, a dining table. The decorations were sparse; the place did not have a lived-in feel.
“We rent these cabins from the Forest Service on a weekly basis,” she explained. “Sometimes we can stay another week, sometimes not. We get moved around a lot. So there’s never much time to settle in.”
Loving took a seat on the not-very-comfortable-looking sofa. “That sounds rough.”
Kelly situated herself on the other end of the sofa, not far away at all. Their knees were practically touching. “We’re just grateful to be in the forest,” she said. “To be this close to the Goddess.”
Loving opted to let that one pass. “Did you ever hear Zak talk about this Gardiner character? Or act like he might be plannin’ to do something violent?”
“Oh, Zak talked all the time. He’s been talking as long as I’ve known him. I don’t take it seriously.”
“How long have you known him?”
“Years. Since he moved out this way from Oklahoma. We …” She hesitated a moment. “We were intimate once. At first. But that passed.”
“Really. Were you angry about that?”
“Of course not. Love is meant to be free. I don’t allow myself to get hung up by these patriarchal templates of right and wrong. I focus my energy on the here and now. Zak is free to act upon his natural urges … and he usually does. For that matter, so do I.” She inched subtly closer to him. “If you know what I mean.”
Loving hoped he didn’t. “Did you ever hear anyone else act like they might wanna take a shot at Gardiner?”
She seemed slightly irritated to be dragged back to this mundane subject. “I’d never even heard of the man. Not till he turned up dead and the cops dragged Zak away. After rummaging through our camp.”
“So you don’t know why someone mighta killed him?”
“Sorry, I don’t. And I wouldn’t focus on it, even if I did. That is not the path to harmony. That is not the teaching of the Goddess.”
Loving really didn’t want to get into this at all, but he supposed he would be derelict in his duty if he didn’t. “Mind tellin’ me what you’re talking about?”
“About the Goddess? It’s Mother Nature. Gaia. Sophia. Whatever you care to call her.”
“And she has … teachings?”
“Of course.”
“Are they written in a book somewhere?”
Kelly laughed. “Mother Nature didn’t publish a dissertation, if that’s what you mean. Her teachings are everywhere. In the earth, in the air. All around us.”
Oh, geez. Now Loving really wished the Skipper had made this visit himself. He was much more tolerant of wackos. “Is this … some kinda religion?”
“I wouldn’t use that word. It’s more like a belief system. Goddess worship is a female-centered focus for spiritual expression.”
“Oh. Guess that’s why I didn’t learn about it in Sunday school class.”
Kelly laughed. “You’re a scream.” She pressed her fingers against his knee and held them there way longer than Loving thought was necessary.
“So, in this Goddess thing, God is a woman?”
“Oh, there’s much more to it than that. The Goddess is not just a female God. She represents an entirely different concept. The Christian God is an all-powerful, transcendent deity. The Goddess is more tangible, more real. She’s located in each individual and in all things in nature. She’s everywhere. She connects with us because she’s part of us. But she’s also part of nature, which heightens our environmental awareness. That’s the aspect that first drew me to Goddess worship.”
Loving steadfastly maintained a straight face, even though this sounded to him like something the boys at Orpha’s might spout after several six-packs. “I gotta admit, I never hearda this before. Who cooked this up?”
“No one cooked it up,” Kelly said, but she didn’t seem the least bit annoyed. “It’s existed for centuries. Have you read Marija Gimbutas?”
Loving knew better than to bluff when he was out of his depth. “I don’t think so. I’ve read Louis L’Amour.”
She laughed again. “Gimbutas has proved that goddess worship was a prehistoric belief eradicated by patriarchal invaders about six thousand years ago. In fact, she says goddess worship goes back to 25,000 B.C. That’s why farmers sometimes dig up those little female goddess statuettes.”
“But don’t you think those prehistoric beliefs probably died out … for a reason?”
“Yes, but it isn’t a good reason. Most progress isn’t, if you ask me. The prepatriarchal Utopia was egalitarian, peace-loving, and entirely gynocentric.”
Loving was blank-faced. “Entirely-”
“Centered around women.”
“Oh. Oh.” He tilted his head. “Well, that’s okay. I like women.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Somehow, without even appearing to move, Kelly had inched so close to him they were mere inches apart. “How would you like to get in touch with some of your … primitive urges?”
Loving was beginning to feel distinctly hot under the collar. “I don’t think-”
“Don’t think.” She wrapped her hand around his thick neck. “Focus on the here and now.”
“I don’t-” Loving peeled himself off the sofa so abruptly Kelly tumbled over in his wake. “Not that it isn’t tempting. But I’m on duty. So to speak.” He rubbed a hand across his sweaty forehead. “Got work to do.”
“I see. Pity.”
“And I wouldn’t wanna take advantage. What with the Goddess watching and everything.”
Kelly smiled.
“Are you sure there’s nothing more you can tell me about the murder?”
“Sorry. I know it must’ve taken you a while to find me. But I just don’t know anything.”
“Let me ask you one more question,” Loving said. He kept one eye on the door, just in case he needed to beat a hasty retreat. “Why did you leave Green Rage?”
Her eyes drifted, just as they had when the group had been mentioned earlier. “What did they tell you?”
“They didn’t want to talk about it.”
She turned away. “Well, neither do I.”
“Please. I’d really like to know.”
“I’m sorry. No.”
“Please.” Loving knelt down and placed his hand on her knee. Boy, the Skipper was going to owe him big-time for this one. “I need to know.”
Her head turned slowly back in his direction. “It’s not that I wasn’t committed to the cause. I was. I gave my heart and soul to Green Rage.” Her voice dropped a notch. “And Zak. But there are some things I wasn’t willing to do.”
“Like what?”
“Like taking advantage of people. Manipulating them. Of course the Green Rage crowd would say, when you’re wrestling with the devil, you have to get a little dirty. But honestly, if you get too dirty, how can you tell yourself and the devil apart?”
“What was it they wanted you to do?”
“It was something they were all planning to do. Something beyond the pale. So I left.”
“And … do you know whether they did it?”
“I know they did. After I left. I’m certain of it.” She placed her hand over the big strong hand on her knee and squeezed. “If they hadn’t, you wouldn’t be here now.”