Back at the office, I called up Vinnie Price. To see what he’d come up with. Not a lot, it turned out. He’d got the records. Jules didn’t have a credit card. No surprise there. Neither did Larry Silver. Less surprise there. He’d got Jules’s and Larry’s cell phone data, sifted through it. Not much there to catch the eye, so far. Except, maybe, a few calls from Jules’s cell phone. Calls to FitzGibbon’s office. Four or five of them, in the days just before Larry Silver’s demise.
Curious.
I thought about what that could mean.
I didn’t have a clue.
I needed to clear my head.
Nah. I needed a drink.
Not mutually exclusive, I told myself.
I called Dorita.
She talked me out of it.
I admired her for that.
But I had to get away from the office glare, at least. We went to Starbucks. I had a tall something. She had a mucho grande skinny low-fat vanilla no-foam latte. Or something.
I told Dorita about the Lisa thing.
You pushed her away? Dorita asked in dismay.
Of course I did. What do you take me for?
Even more of a pussy than I thought?
Oh come on. Can you imagine the complications?
Mmm, yes. Delicious.
You’re crazy.
I thank you for the compliment.
I think we should get back to business.
Let’s get some paper. Make a list of all the facts. The suppositions. Draw some lines and arrows. Make a chart. Charts help me think.
You know, I think we should do that. But not right now.
What do you want to do now? Whine about your awful wife? I mean life?
Well, yes. I do.
Okay. I guess you have to take the warts with the frog.
Nice metaphor.
Thank you again. But first, I want to know more about the chickie.
Lisa?
That’s the only chickie I know about. Are there others?
Not that I can think of.
That’s a relief. Only so many chickies I can handle in one day. So tell me about her.
What’s there to tell? I told you everything already.
Is she cute?
Oh for God’s sake, does it always have to come back to that?
Yes. Is she cute?
Sort of. In a pierced and tattooed kind of way.
Describe her for me.
Come on.
Go ahead. It’ll be good for you.
Jesus. All right. She’s very small. Maybe five feet. Pale and thin, in that junkie kind of way. Green eyes. Very pretty green eyes. They give her an innocent look. Her hair is shaved off on one side. Heavily hennaed. Rings and stuff inserted here and there. Dragon tattoo on right deltoid.
Nice.
It is. It’s a very nice dragon. Not a frightening dragon. A C.S. Lewis kind of dragon.
Did he have dragons? I thought that was a lion.
I don’t remember. But you know what I mean.
Aslan.
That’s right. Aslan. But maybe there was a dragon in there somewhere too.
Okay, go on.
Isn’t there always a dragon?
Sure. There’s always a dragon. Get back to the subject, smart guy.
I think that sums her up pretty well. She’s a bit of a type. Tries very hard to cultivate the bad girl look. But she’s not fooling anybody. Very vulnerable. She’s afraid.
Afraid of Jules?
Just generally. She’s fearful. I’m quite sure she’s had a traumatic childhood. I’m guessing abuse by the father. It fits with how she acted today. From what I’ve read.
Needs Daddy’s approval.
And comfort.
Some kind of twisted comfort.
Yes, but that’s how it works, you know.
I know. So tell me, you weren’t tempted? Even for a moment?
Of course I was tempted for a moment. Maybe even two. I’m a man.
In some senses of the word.
It was a challenge, that last.
I had never really confided in Dorita. Nothing very private. Our friendship was one of banter and innuendo. But always that tension, hovering over every bit of repartee. Why we’d never consummated it. That’s what made it fun. One of the things that made it fun. That and all the things we shared. We always got each other’s jokes. That was rare, and to be treasured.
It was fragile, that tension. Break through it and you couldn’t predict what might happen. Perhaps you fall in love. Live happily ever after. But more likely, much more likely, the magic disappears. The delicate bubble bursts. You see that there was nothing more than air inside. And even that has dissipated. To the clouds.
Back to dreams.
I don’t know what made me forget that. Some need, I guess. A need for consolation, for commiseration not artificially enhanced by two hundred dollars an hour.
I blurted it out. I didn’t give myself time to think it over. To second-guess.
I couldn’t have done anything with her even if I wanted to, I said.
There was a wide-eyed pause.
Ricky, she said softly, are you saying what I think you’re saying?
Unfortunately, yes. And now I’m not at all sure I should have.
Of course you should have. I’m not going to take advantage. I swear. Right here on this empty coffee cup. I swear I’ll never make a single joke.
I think you just did.
Sort of. But that’ll be the last one.
Okay. Nothing I can do about it now anyway.
Sure there is. Talk about it.
There’s nothing to talk about.
How long has this been going on?
Years. Since the first time Melissa went into rehab.
How odd.
Yes. A funny coincidence.
Sure.
Or whatever.
It’s not physical, is it? I mean, they have drugs for that.
No, it’s not physical. I don’t have to go to a doctor to know that. Though I did. I went to all the doctors. There’s nothing wrong with me. Physically.
Oh dear.
Oh dear, I repeated. Anyway, you can imagine how uncomfortable this conversation is making me. So maybe we can drop it now?
Dorita looked at me sympathetically. It was a new and strange experience, that look. I didn’t know quite what to make of it.
All right, she said softly, but we’re coming back to it soon.
Please.
No, we are, she said, in her don’t-mess-with-me tone. We’re going to fix it.
Ah. You are an arrogant young thing. If only it were so easy.
I admit to the arrogant bit. But I’m not so young anymore. And we are going to fix it.
I’d like to take you up on that. But I don’t think we should be jeopardizing our thing with this. I shouldn’t have brought it up.
I have powers that you can’t even guess at, darling.
I have no doubt of it, and I’d love to see you demonstrate them. But maybe on someone else. I’ll watch.
You’ll need protective glasses.
Listen, I appreciate the offer, but frankly I’d rather you helped me with my poker game.
Not my field, I’m afraid.
Not that way. Come to the casino with me. Just hang around. Keep my spirits up.
Jesus, that’s a job for Hercules. Anyway, I thought you had meds for that. Your saintly shrink. The miracle worker.
Now don’t you start on Sheila. She saved my life, you know.
I know, I know. My competition. Anyway, tell you what. Next time you’re going to throw another stack of cash away at the casino, call me. I’ll be your, what do they call them? Your sponsor. Pull you back from the abyss.
Please, baby doll, no AA jokes. I get enough of that at home.
I’m sure it’s a laugh riot, darling.
You’re too kind.
I’ll try not to step on wifey’s toes again.
Damn. It was hard to keep that girl away from the edge.