When I woke, late the next morning, Kelly had already left for school. I was a little bereft. But I knew that it was a good thing.
My cell phone rang. I looked at the screen. Laura.
I have some results, she said.
I’ll be there in twenty, I said.
I grabbed a cab. It had a funky smell.
Despite my haste, she wasn’t there when I arrived. Called out on an emergency, they told me.
Emergency? All her patients were dead. Couldn’t they wait?
I was anxious. I wanted to know. I couldn’t sit still. I went out back. I had a smoke. I had three.
The back door opened. Laura stuck her head out.
Keep that up and you’ll be my next patient, she said, eyeing the cigarette.
I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have exploring my entrails, I said. You got something for me?
You won’t necessarily like it.
Well? I said, a touch impatiently.
It’s ambiguous.
Shit.
Sorry.
What do you mean, ambiguous?
We got a match. But it wasn’t with the semen.
What then?
A hair.
What hair?
A hair from the sofa.
Shit. That doesn’t mean anything. He’s been there. He’s been on that couch.
Which makes it even more ambiguous.
You can’t date a hair.
Not unless you’re really, really weird.
I paused. I wasn’t used to jokes from Laura. I tried to keep a straight face. But I couldn’t. The joke was just too goddamn stupid. I snorted. I guffawed. She smiled.
Well, I said, can you?
Within a day or two? No.
Damn.
Sorry.
Don’t be sorry.
Listen, Rick, there’s something else.
What?
I don’t want to tell you now. I want to run a couple more things. To make sure.
Laura, come on. You can’t do this to me.
Nothing serious, Rick. Just something a little strange.
Laura.
Seriously, Rick. These things come out funny all the time. Contamination and things. I just need to double-check. I’ll call you tomorrow.
Laura, you’re killing me here.
Rick, I went out on a limb for you. You can wait a day.
She had a point.