I was lying in bed with Brett, and I had told her about our day and the day before. Leonard was downstairs sleeping on the couch. From where I lay I could see the window and the night sky. It was a velvet-soft night. No rain.
“How are things between Leonard and John?” she asked.
“John’s being taught that his sense of future direction ought to include deep desire for a woman’s vagina.”
“Who’s teaching him?”
“His brother.”
Brett shook her head. “Families can be a mess.”
I reached over and took her hand. “I’m gonna change the subject a little.”
“That sounded ominous.”
“I know you have a child, a grown child,” I said, “but have you ever thought about starting a family with someone else?”
“Someone else?”
“Yes.”
“Who would that someone else be?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Someone off the street. Someone about my height and weight and general disposition.”
“You’re serious?”
“I guess I am.”
Brett lay without speaking for a long time. “I have thought about it, Hap. I’ve told you how much I love you, and how I stand by you. But… if we had a kid, there’s no way you could do what you do.”
“I could quit. Though I’m not sure what I’m quitting, since I don’t know what my job is.”
“You know exactly what I mean, Hap. Don’t act coy.”
“I think I could actually finish college.”
“You tried last year and quit.”
“I wasn’t motivated enough.”
“Now you are?”
“I could try. Unlike just about everyone else, I really had a good family. I know how to be a father. I would be good at it.”
“Your lifestyle isn’t exactly conducive to tricycles and soccer games and PTA meetings. You’d do all right for a while, and then you’d be… you know, back out there with Leonard. I don’t know if I could manage it. I have a grown child that drives me crazy. I don’t even know if I could have another one. I’m probably too old.”
“We could find out,” I said.
She reached out and patted my cheek gently. “I don’t think so, baby. I love you. I do. But, Hap… I don’t think so.”