I FOUND OUT LATER that the brightly colored creatures in that aquarium were called cone snails, and their toxin was among the most poisonous in the animal kingdom.
The snails apparently hadn’t liked their environment being disturbed in such a rough fashion, and moments after landing on Schimmel, they showed their disapproval.
First came screaming. Then convulsions. Then spitting blood.
Carey Schimmel died right before the ambulance arrived, but I think their four-minute response time would have pleased him.
Along with the ambulance, the police arrived in full force. Crime scene units. The SRT. K9 units. I think they came for closure more than anything else, to see the corpse of the man who had caused them so much pain. Though the police dog did sniff out a corpse in Schimmel’s compost heap-one that was quickly ID’ed as retired cop Jason Alger, as evidenced by his missing fingers.
As the paramedics loaded a very puffy-looking Harry McGlade into their truck, I asked them to wait a moment so I could speak to the annoying guy who once again wound up saving the day.
“Nice job, McGlade.”
“Thankth.”
His pronunciation wasn’t too good, because while he was running around screaming, a bee had flown into his mouth and stung his tongue.
“Where’d you get the gun?” I asked him.
“Chopper. Took it from the cockpit when you guys were playing around with the launcher.”
“So your hand wasn’t stuck on the ladder?”
He smiled, looking a lot like a lumpy pumpkin. “I knew you’d need my help.”
I patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll speak to the mayor as soon as I get back to the office. I’ll make sure you get your bar.”
He shook his head. “No bar.”
“I thought you wanted a liquor license.”
“I’m not a bar owner,” Harry sputtered. He stared at me, hard. “I’m a private eye.”
I grinned. “What happened to being a poet?”
“I’m that too. Want to hear one?”
“If it’s quick.”
“This one is called ‘Grandma.’ Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
“My grandma wears a diaper. I really hate to wipe her.”
He waited for my reaction. “Stick to private investigation,” I told him, then went off to find Herb. He was just getting off the phone with his wife.
“What’s the verdict?” I asked.
“Starting tomorrow, I’m back in Homicide. Bernice said it would be selfish of me to waste all of this talent in Robbery.”
We embraced. It felt good.
“Welcome back.”
“She also said there were zero casualties. The plant and the water absorbed most of the blast. The mayor of Skokie is giving her, me, you, and that idiot McGlade keys to the city.”
“I’d settle for a new purse. Mine blew up in that truck.”
“It could have been a lot worse.”
“Are you kidding? That purse was a Gucci.”
Herb offered to share a cab back to Skokie, to pick up our cars, but I couldn’t pick up my car without my car keys, which were in my purse. Along with all of my cash and credit cards.
“Can you even get in your house?” Herb asked.
“No.”
“You want to stay with us tonight, until you get everything worked out?”
I looked past Herb to Special Agent Rick Reilly, who was headed in our direction.
“No need,” I said. “I know someone who won’t mind giving me a ride and putting me up for the night.”
“You sure?” Herb asked.
I thought about it. Thought about it really hard.
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure.”
“Okay. I’ll see you soon, partner.”
“Bye, Herb.”
He waddled off, and I waited for Rick to approach.