“Are you okay?” Bella asked.
I stared out the passenger window as a million things ran through my mind.
I pulled my eyes from the blur of buildings going by and looked straight ahead. “Yeah.”
“You don’t seem okay,” she said, glancing over at me. “Who was that guy?”
“No one.”
“So I just imagined him?”
I didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s none of my business. I’ll shut up.”
I knew I was being rude, but I wasn’t sure what to say to her. Telling her who he was would lead to more questions. Questions I didn’t want asked, questions I knew I wouldn’t answer. I wasn’t even sure I could answer them.
“It’s okay,” I said, finally. “I just…he’s not someone I really know.”
“Well, he didn’t really look like someone you’d hang with,” she said.
That got out a smile out of me. “No?”
“You don’t seem like a mohawk kind of guy. Or a guy who hangs with crack addicts.” She laughed. “Sorry. I’m making assumptions.”
“Probably right ones. At least about the crack addicts.”
“But you do hang with mohawks?”
I thought about Carter and his hair and everything else about him. “You’d be surprised.”
She slowed down for a red light. “I think I would be.”
“What does that mean?”
She tapped her hands on the wheel, glanced in the backseat at her sleeping son then back at me. “I just think you aren’t who you seem to be.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but it once again set off internal warning bells. Did she know more about me than I thought? Or was she just talking to me, having a conversation? The ever-present paranoia was confusing and exhausting and I wasn’t sure I’d ever learn to live with it.
The light turned green and she pushed the accelerator. “That probably doesn’t even make sense.” She waved a hand in the air. “Just ignore me. I talk too much, anyway.”
“You don’t talk too much,” I said.
She laughed. “Yeah, I do and I know it, so it’s okay. My daddy said I didn’t talk until I was almost four years old, but once I started, I never shut up.”
“It doesn’t bother me,” I said. “Really.”
“I hope not,” she said. “But you can tell me to shut up if you need to.”
I didn’t say it out loud, but it was actually nice to hear someone else’s voice. It seemed like forever since I’d had a real conversation with someone. That was my fault and my choice, but listening to Bella talk reminded me that I wasn’t entirely okay with being alone. Just because I was learning to be alone didn’t mean I was any good at it.
“I don’t remember where to turn,” she said.
“Two more streets,” I said.
“Gotcha.” She nodded her head, her brown ponytail bobbing.
She found the street, turned right, and then we were sitting in front of the house, the car idling in the cul-de-sac.
“Thanks,” I said. “For dinner. And for talking.”
She smiled and raised her eyebrows. “For talking? I’ll bring a sock next time so you can shove it in my mouth.”
“Not necessary.”
The smile softened. “Thank you. Again. For Jackson today and just…you know.”
I pushed on the door and it swung open. I thought of Colin in the parking lot and some of her earlier comments about not having options. “If you need help. With anything. Let me know. I’ll be around.”
I got out of the car and shut the door.
Bella leaned across the passenger seat. “You gonna be around for awhile? In Fort Walton?”
I looked across the top of her car. The sun was gone now, the lights of the condo buildings dotting the darkened shoreline. The heat clung to the evening air and I knew the garage would be stuffy.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t have any plans right now, though.”
She stared at me for a long moment. “So you’ll at least be here tomorrow.”
I laughed, then nodded. “Yeah, pretty sure.”
She smiled again. “Then maybe Jax and I will see you on the beach.” She bounced her eyebrows. “You’ve been warned.”
She made a U-turn in the cul-de-sac and waved a hand out her window as she and Jackson drove off.