“I thought the roof was a nice touch,” Carter said, hanging out the passenger window.
“It was very you,” I said, hitting the blinker and changing lanes.
We were in the rented SUV, pointed west on 98, the Gulf off in the distance to our left.
“Why didn’t you answer my email?” I asked.
“I did. I sent Alex.”
“You couldn’t hit reply?”
He shrugged. “You were freaked and I didn’t like it much, either. I didn’t wanna waste time. Alex was ready to go. Just trying to be careful.”
I nodded. That all made sense to me and I was glad he’d done it.
“That Hanson guy won’t follow the girl?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. He wants to be king in a small pond. He found out today he’s not so good in bigger ponds.”
Carter nodded.
We drove in silence for a bit.
Carter drummed his fingers against the door. “So. This is weird.”
“Yeah?”
“Was weird when you called.”
“Why?”
He shrugged his massive shoulders. “Dunno. Just wasn’t sure when I’d hear from you and it’s just hard to remember…before.”
It was hard to remember before. At least, it was hard to remember feeling happy and secure and a bunch of other things that I didn’t know how to describe.
“And you know, they’re still digging,” he said. “Klimes and Zanella. They're still digging. Pretty sure they didn’t know I left town, but I’m not totally sure. They’ve been clingy.”
I had no doubt.
“So I don’t know what’s waiting for us,” he said, leaning back in the seat.
I didn’t know either. I really didn’t. But I was tired of hiding from it.
“We’ll deal with it when it shows up,” I said. “And you’ll be fine. I’ll make sure.”
“I’m always fine.”
“And ugly.”
“Florida sun has damaged the cones and rods in your eyes, apparently. I’m better looking than ever.”
I smiled as we made the turn onto Highway 87 and headed north toward Interstate 10. I missed my best friend. It was good to be sitting next to him again, listening to him talk like an idiot. And it was even nicer to know that he’d still show up whenever I needed him.
I hoped I could return the favor some day.
“You alright?” Carter asked. “And I don’t mean right now. I mean with…everything.”
“You mean Liz,” I said.
“Yeah. I do.”
I didn’t know if I’d ever be alright with her being gone. There was still a void, an emptiness that felt as if it would always be staring me in the face. I didn’t know how to remove that and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to. But I couldn’t run from it forever. It was going to change. The only thing I could do was face it and see what happened.
So as the sun disappeared behind us in the rearview mirror and I prepared for the long drive home, back to San Diego, to face whatever was waiting, I gave him the only answer I could think of.
“We’ll see,” I said.