Kayla’s road was only a short bus ride away from Gran’s and I found it pretty easily. It was lined with sycamore trees, their leaves in full bloom, shading the parked cars from the afternoon sun. There were two-storey, red-brick houses on either side of the road; some had ivy growing up their walls, others had potted plants on their porches. They all had wooden sash windows, gorgeous mature gardens and cobblestoned driveways. I saw the one I was looking for, number 25, and crossed the street.
Ivy was wrapped round its red-brick pillars and the black iron gate was open. I walked slowly across the driveway and up the steps to the front door. It was painted a pretty lilac colour, almost the same shade as my skirt. I tried not to look anxious; I really didn’t know what I was letting myself in for. I took a deep breath and rang the bell.
I waited a few moments, fidgeting with the buckle on my satchel, until a girl opened the door. She wore a loose grey T-shirt, jeans and pink ballet pumps. She had long shiny brown hair and tanned skin, artificially so, but beautiful nonetheless. I guessed she was in her early twenties.
‘Hey,’ she said. ‘You’re Jacki, right? Sergeant Lawlor said you’d call by.’
‘Yes,’ I replied.
‘Come in.’ She smiled, which made me feel a lot better.
‘Thank you,’ I said, as I stepped inside. The interior of the house was just as impressive as the outside. The hallway ceiling was high, and sunlight flooded in through the window.
‘I’m Libby,’ she explained. ‘Kayla’s sister. Well, half-sister, to be precise.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ I said. Were those the right words to use? It wasn’t like they were nice circumstances and it wasn’t like she really had a choice in the matter.
‘You too,’ Libby said, not seeming to analyse it as much as me. ‘Sorry about the mess,’ she added as she led me into the huge kitchen. ‘Dad and Anna are away on holiday, so we’ve kind of let the place go a bit… I would have tidied up, but I have an exam tomorrow and I’m frantically trying to revise.’
‘It’s OK,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry for disturbing you.’
‘No problem at all. I always have exams, nothing new.’
‘You mentioned Anna…’ I said. ‘Is that Kayla’s mum?’
‘Oh yeah, I should have explained. She’s my stepmum,’ said Libby.
She tidied up the chemistry books on the table into a pile and I looked around. There were lots of photos on the walls. Most were of Kayla and Libby and another girl with black hair, who I recognized from the video. The kitchen wasn’t even that messy; there were a couple of empty bottles beside the fridge and a stack of dirty dishes in the sink. It looked a lot like my house when Mum and Des left me alone for a night, which unfortunately was hardly ever.
‘Would you like tea or coffee?’
‘Tea, please,’ I said. I was relieved Libby was being so friendly. I’d wondered what her reaction would be like. It must be hard to have people interfering in your life all the time, to have to answer the same questions over and over again.
‘It’s good to see the Gardai are still working hard on the case,’ she said. ‘Still trying to find her. You’re like… psychic, right?’ She flicked on the kettle.
‘Well… sort of. I can sense things. And I can see things that nobody else can. It’s a gift I have… it’s kind of difficult to explain.’
‘Whatever it takes to find her,’ said Libby, opening a cupboard and taking out two pale pink mugs. ‘We had this other psychic guy offer us help last year; he said he knew where Kayla was. Turned out to be a complete wacko though.’
‘Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly offer to help – the Gardai contacted me,’ I said, perhaps a bit too defensively.
‘Oh yeah, I know. You look totally normal. Thanks so much for doing this; we really just want Kayla to come home.’
I nodded, kind of regretting my reaction now.
‘So, Kayla is your stepsister?’ I asked as Libby handed me my cup of tea.
‘Yep, Dad married Kayla’s mum, Anna, three years ago, a year before Kayla went missing. We moved in here with them because Anna didn’t want to leave. Our house was so much nicer, but we got over it.’
I couldn’t imagine a nicer house than this one. It was beautiful without being too flashy. Mum would love it, especially the antique dresser in the corner. She was always on the lookout for interesting stuff for our house, even though it had been finished for months.
Libby offered me the milk jug and I poured some into my cup.
‘I knew Kayla before we were sisters though,’ she said. ‘We were in the same year in school and we used to hang around with some of the same people. She gets on really well with my big sister Hazel too – they have the same taste in music and stuff.’ It was weird hearing her talk about Kayla like that, like she was still here. I seemed to be the only person who knew for sure that Kayla was dead. I had to remember that her friends and family were still clinging to the hope that she was alive. It was difficult, but I needed to believe that what I was doing would eventually give them closure. Besides, Kayla wanted to move on, she wanted peace, that’s why I was here.
‘Anyway,’ said Libby, ‘I’m rambling. Is there anything in particular you’d like to know?’
‘Could you tell me about the night of her disappearance?’ I asked. ‘You had a party here, right?’
‘Yeah, we had a small marquee out the back; there were loads of people here. It was a great night, up until… well… up until we realized she was gone. Everyone was having a good time; there was no drama.’ I could tell that from watching the video. There didn’t seem to be anything weird going on, at least not on the surface. It just looked like a normal eighteenth birthday party.
‘When was the last time you saw her?’ I asked. Libby took another sip from her tea before she spoke.
‘It was around midnight. I was over at the patio door, having a cigarette, and I heard her and Amy talking about going to the shop. They got it into their heads that they wanted to toast marshmallows. They’re always doing stuff like that: they think of something and then suddenly they have to have it. They’re really, I don’t know… spontaneous? They said they were going to the shop and that they’d be back in a few minutes. Andrew, Amy’s boyfriend at the time, went with them. I wasn’t even involved in the conversation, I just overheard it. It was about half one when I noticed that I hadn’t seen them in ages. I just assumed she and Amy were off taking photos of stars or something… they’re really into photography. But by two a.m. I started to get seriously worried. I called her mobile, but it rang out.’
‘So her mobile was still turned on at that time?’ According to the file, its last recorded location was in this area. It was possible that she’d dropped it in a struggle, but it had never been found.
‘Yeah, she just wasn’t answering it. I tried Amy’s phone too, then Kayla again, but neither of them would answer. Calum said he could have sworn he saw them come back, so then I thought maybe they were around somewhere and I just hadn’t seen them. I looked in every room in the house, went around calling her name, but I couldn’t find her. I asked Calum where he’d seen her, but he was really drunk and wasn’t making any sense.’
‘Who’s Calum?’ I asked. I was interested because his name was on my list, along with Amy and Andrew’s.
‘He lives across the road; he’s one of my best friends. He said he thought he saw Kayla in the house, but he wasn’t sure. Somebody else said maybe she was off with Luke, this guy from her class that she was supposedly seeing, although she hadn’t told me or Hazel about it.’
‘Would she usually share stuff like that with you?’ I asked. Luke wasn’t one of the people I had to talk to, so he must have had an alibi.
‘Well, probably not with me, but with Hazel, yeah. Maybe she was embarrassed or something. I mean, he’s nice, but not really that hot. I rang him and there was no answer. I calmed down a bit then because I thought they were probably off… well, you know. But he rang me back half an hour later and said he hadn’t seen her since he’d left the party. I finally got through to Amy, who told me she’d got a headache and had gone home with Andrew. She said they’d left Kayla at the top of the road. That’s when everybody started to freak out and we went looking for her. We thought maybe she’d fallen on the way home and hurt herself. But there was no sign of her anywhere. Dad and Anna were staying in a hotel down the country and we didn’t want to worry them, but by six a.m. there was still no sign of her and we’d called everybody she knows, so we decided to ring Dad and then we rang the Gardai.’
Libby’s voice started to quiver and she looked like she was holding back tears.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘This must be hard for you, having to relive it.’
‘No, it’s fine,’ she said. ‘It’s fine.’
I felt really bad, but I wanted to get a clear picture of the night of the party.
‘So Kayla walked back by herself?’ I asked, as gently as possible.
‘Yeah,’ said Libby. ‘Dad and Anna were furious at Amy; they still are. But we always used to walk home alone – nothing ever happens around here, like, you can see our door from the top of the road. It was a bit crap of Amy to leave Kayla alone on her birthday, but I don’t blame her like everyone else does. Anybody can make a mistake – we all do things we regret; she shouldn’t be punished forever just for one bad decision.’
I admired Libby’s forgiveness – I wasn’t sure I’d be so understanding.
‘And anyway,’ said Libby. ‘It was probably Andrew’s idea to leave her, not Amy’s.’
I got the feeling Libby wasn’t a fan of his.
‘I love Kayla,’ she carried on. ‘I really do. But she is just way too trusting. If some random guy started talking to her, she’d probably stop and chat to him, that’s just what she’s like. And she’s so small and slight too; if some psycho was watching her and just grabbed her, then she wouldn’t stand a chance.’ Libby took another sip from her tea. ‘You heard about the serial killer, right?’
‘No…’ I said, feeling a shiver run down my back.
‘So many women have gone missing without a trace here in the last ten years that some people think a serial killer is kidnapping them. They reckon he’s keeping them for a while before… before murdering them. All these kidnappings have taken place in nice suburbs like this one, so we think that maybe this guy has Kayla. I mean, she didn’t run away – she wouldn’t just take off; she wouldn’t do anything like that. And it doesn’t look like she had an accident because there is literally no trace of her. We found nothing.’
She really thought it was an outsider. The thought that somebody from inside the circle might have hurt Kayla didn’t seem to occur to her. I trusted Matt Lawlor’s judgement and was prepared to accept that her killer may be in the video, even if the thought of it was almost too much to bear. But what if he was wrong? What if this was the work of a serial killer? I made a mental note to ask Matt more about it. I didn’t know how he was able to do this, how he dealt with victims’ families all the time, how he looked at the pain and helplessness on their faces. I admired him for it, but I didn’t envy him at all. I hated to think how Libby was going to react if he was right, what she would do if she learned that the killer wasn’t a stranger. But I guess it wasn’t my job to worry about that; it was my job to help Kayla move on.
‘Would you mind if I took a look at Kayla’s room?’ I said. I wanted to see if I could sense her there. Last year Beth had appeared in places that were important to her, so I thought maybe Kayla might visit her bedroom. If she was anything like me, she’d probably spent a lot of time there.
‘Yeah, sure, it’s this way,’ said Libby.
I followed her up the stairs. Even though the house was beautiful, there was an eerie stillness in the air, like something wasn’t quite right. It felt like it was suspended in time, just waiting for Kayla to come back. We walked down the corridor, then up a narrow spiral staircase. The steps creaked under my feet and I felt a little bit dizzy, so I held on to the black banister to steady myself.
‘She has the attic room,’ said Libby. ‘Coolest room in the house.’
It was very cool. It was huge, and one wall was completely covered in Polaroid photographs. Photographs of Kayla, of her friends, scenery, bands, random things. Some of them were really quite striking. There was a picture of a white butterfly on a purple thistle, its slightly blurred wings suggesting that it had either just landed, or was about to take off.
‘It’s exactly as she left it,’ said Libby. ‘Anna told us not to touch anything. Not that I would – I hardly ever come up here.’
I followed Libby into the centre of the room. It was different to the rest of the house; its bright colours and organized chaos contrasted with the pastel shades and sparseness of the other rooms. There were similarities between it and my own bedroom – the giant piles of CDs, the posters on the walls, the dressing table covered with make-up supplies. It was unsettling to think that this kind of thing could happen to someone close to my age, someone like me. Libby started to look really uncomfortable. ‘I actually… I don’t think I can be in here now. It’s too upsetting,’ she said. ‘You’re welcome to look around, take as long as you need, but please don’t touch anything. I don’t mind, but Anna would probably notice and she’d freak out.’
‘No, of course. I won’t touch anything.’ I said. ‘Thanks for letting me do this.’
‘I’ll be downstairs,’ said Libby. ‘If you need anything, just shout.’
The room was really tidy, but I guess Kayla would have cleaned it before the party. There was a bookshelf in the corner, holding mostly photography and poetry books, and a few magazines, including some copies of Electric. On the bedside table was a Polaroid camera – just like the one from my dream – and a Holga camera too, the plastic back held on with sticky tape. On the glass-topped table there was a Canon camera, a tripod, a camera bag and a couple of extra lenses. Beside a pink Victorian-style doll’s house was a stack of photo albums. Kayla must have really liked photography. There was also a laptop, its case covered with bumper stickers. I was tempted to open it, but Libby did say not to touch anything, and I didn’t want to betray her trust.
I walked around the room again, taking in all the details. I didn’t feel Kayla’s presence there though. The room actually felt calmer than the others, and I definitely didn’t sense her spirit there.
When I arrived back in the kitchen, Libby was leaning over one of her textbooks, her head resting in her hand.
‘What are you studying in college?’ I asked.
She jumped. ‘Oh, sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t hear you come back in… er, Medicine.’
‘Oh, wow, where?’ I said.
‘Trinity…’
‘Cool.’
‘Did you… did you see anything when you were up there? Do you know what might have happened to her?’ she asked.
‘Well, I don’t really work like that. It’ll probably be a while before I have anything to report.’
‘Oh yeah, of course. Sorry,’ she said. ‘Is there anything else I can do for you?’
‘Actually, do you have something of Kayla’s that I could borrow?’ I said. ‘A piece of jewellery, maybe? It might help me connect with her more easily.’ I wanted to take Ger’s advice and ask, even if she refused.
‘Yeah, of course, wait there and I’ll get you something. I’m sure Anna won’t mind if it’s going to help find her.’ I was so relieved she’d said yes.
As I waited in the kitchen, I looked down at the refill pad on the table. The pages were filled with notes, and in the margins were doodles of hearts everywhere – big hearts, tiny hearts, hearts with arrows through them and hearts broken in two.
‘Here you go,’ said Libby, handing me a necklace with a silver star-shaped pendant. ‘It was one of her favourites. She used to wear it a lot.’
‘Thanks,’ I said, popping it into my bag. ‘I’ll make sure to bring it back when I’m finished.’
‘No problem. Thanks for calling over. Like I said, we really appreciate it.’ Libby led me to the door and I said goodbye. I wasn’t sorry to be leaving – I could sense the sadness in every corner of that house.
I walked up the road, taking a look back before I turned the corner. Libby waved from the doorway, where she stood holding her mobile and smoking a cigarette. I took the list out of my bag along with a pen, and put a tick beside her name. One down, seven to go.