It took a moment before the implications of his words settled into Jennifer’s mind.
No, no, NO. He can’t get a conscience now.
She said, “What do you mean? What happened?”
Pike turned away from the door, saying over his shoulder, “I can’t do it. I’m going to call Kurt tomorrow, tell him everything we have and get him on board. Make it legal.”
Jennifer said, “Pike, you know that won’t work. Kurt will flip out that we’re even in Germany. He’ll order us home and then rip us apart. Even if he agrees, he’ll want a support team here, and we don’t have time for that.”
He held up his hand. “Let it go. I’ve been thinking about it for two days. I’m not going to do the hit unsanctioned. Either Kurt facilitates or he doesn’t, but I’m not going off on a vendetta like a Mafia hit man. It’s eating me alive, and I don’t like the damage.”
Jennifer heard what he said and felt shame for what she was putting Pike through. She considered letting it go when that day sprang forth. Lucas’s hot breath, the lamp cord cutting into her hands on the bed as she tried to keep him away, the beating she had taken.
That bastard deserves to die. And Pike deserves to kill him.
“Pike, I need to show you something.”
“Jennifer, forget it. You didn’t see me at my worst. It was a living hell, and this damn mission is bringing me back.”
“Please sit down.”
He did.
Jennifer said, “I found more than Ethan’s driver’s license in Lucas’s room.”
“What do you mean?”
Jennifer pulled out an ID card and handed it to him. She watched him recognize the face, then saw him begin to change before her very eyes. The resignation of only a moment ago disappeared, replaced by a rising tsunami of violence rippling just underneath the surface. A rage vibrating the very air around him. She felt the threat from across the room, and knew she’d made a mistake.
His face twisted toward her, almost unrecognizable, the scar on his cheek standing out stark white against the mottled red of his fury. “Where the fuck did you get this? What are you up to? Some parlor trick to get me to destroy myself? Why?”
He leapt to his feet, shouting now. “Jesus Christ, I can’t believe you’d do this! I don’t even know you! I don’t want to know you. Get the fuck out!”
She began to backpedal, holding out her hands, getting out of the danger zone while she still could.
“Pike, it’s real! I didn’t want to tell you before. I didn’t know what to do with it. I found Heather’s license with Ethan’s. Lucas killed your wife. And your daughter.”
Pike stopped, the violence beginning to crack the surface. He stared through her, saying nothing, his body beginning to tremble. The phone rang, and he snatched it up. He listened for a moment, never saying a word. He ended the call, picked up the Glock, and racked the slide.
“Let’s go.”
She hesitated, frightened by the change. Unconsciously, she prepared to fight. To defend herself against what she’d created.
He didn’t attack her. Just shoved her into the wall, stabbing his hands into her jacket pockets. She began to fight back when he found what he wanted, ripping the pocket open and removing the keys to her rental car.
“Fucking stay here then. I’m not going to beg you.”
He slammed the door behind him, sucking the darkness out of the room. She collapsed into the chair.
What have I done?