“So, you can speak of fun trips to Mexico, you can ask me to tell you stories of my past, you can talk hopefully of the future, but all I can think about when I am with you, Sarah, is how sweet you tasted.
There is a monster inside me that is much more dangerous than any hunter you’ve ever faced. And it wants more of you. Even now, at this very moment.”
There was a heavy silence for a moment until I finally found my voice.
“Then you’re wrong,” I said.
He blinked. “What?”
“You’re wrong. You don’t know what you want. And that monster inside you? He’s an asshole. You need to tell him to shut the hell up. You can’t let him rule you.”
“The older I get, the less I am able to argue.”
“Then you need to make your argument louder. And shorter. Look Thierry, you can beat yourself up for what happened the other night if you want to. But I’m still here.” I shifted on my somewhat sensible high heels. “See? Right in front of you. And do I look scared of you?”
“A little bit.”
I crossed my arms. “Well, okay. Granted. That speech was a little Bela Lugosi. But I’m still here.”
He studied me for a moment. “Your sense of self-preservation is severely lacking.”
“If you’re trying to tell me that I’m fabulous and wonderful, then I accept the compliment.”
He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “You are standing before me, open to me, like a gazelle facing a lion, and you do so willingly.”
I blinked. “Yeah, even when you say weird shit like that.”
“We are too different, Sarah.”
“Vive la difference.”
He nodded slowly. “And what of Quinn?”
The blood suddenly pounded in my ears. “Quinn?”
“Yesterday you were kissing him. Passionately and of your own free will. He was not forcing you.”
I crossed my arms. “No, he wasn’t.”
“Are you in love with him?”
Silence. My face flushed red. “No. I’m in love with you.”
“Why would you kiss him, then, if you are not in love with him?”
I bit my bottom lip, feeling suddenly as if I was being cross-examined in court. “I kissed him because he wanted to kiss me. Because he makes me feel like I’m important. Like I’m somebody who shouldn’t be ignored.”
His mouth was a thin line. “Then perhaps you should be with him.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to say.”
“No. But perhaps that is whatI am trying to say.” He wouldn’t meet my gaze.
My chest hurt. “You’re saying you want me to be with Quinn?”
“You will need someone to protect you when I am gone.”
I frowned at him. “What are you talking about? Where are you going?”
“This is what I wanted to tell you.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ve sold Haven. Just today. I plan to leave Toronto indefinitely.”
“Youwhat ?”
His gaze again touched lightly on my neck. “I’ve fooled myself into believing that I can be a regular man.
That is not possible. When I leave, I want you to be taken care of. Quinn cares for you. I have faith that he will not let you come to any harm.”
I shook my head. “Things are rough right now, but not anything we can’t work out if we want to. It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to go anywhere. You belong right here with me.”
“What I said earlier is the truth, Sarah.” His voice was quiet. “You don’t fit in my life. I don’t fit in yours.
To believe otherwise would be foolish and potentially deadly to both of us. You should be with Quinn.”
I felt myself grow cold at his words. “No, Thierry. Didn’t you hear me? We can work through this. All of this.”
“My decision to leave the city is final.” His jaw tensed and he looked down at the top of his desk covered with papers and envelopes. “I’m sorry, Sarah, but it’s over between us.”
He walked past me to the door and left his office without another word.
Iwasn’t watching where I was going when I left the club shortly after Thierry dumped my sorry ass. I was in shock. At that very moment, all I wanted to do was crawl into a corner somewhere and die.
Alone. Pathetic and alone.Hello there , I’d say.I’m pathetic and alone and I’m dying in a corner.
Look away .
Even though I knew his decision on the subject had been an ever-present possibility that loomed over my head. Even though everyone I knew had told me it was only a matter of time before this would happen . . . it was still the worst feeling in the world. And he was leaving? Sold the club and leaving just like that?
I’d never felt so alone. My heart ached. My throat felt tight. My eyes burned with tears of frustration.
Every word he’d said hurt like nothing I’d ever experienced before.
“You don’t fit in my life. I don’t fit in yours. It’s over between us.”
And then he was gone. Had to have the last word, didn’t he? I gritted my teeth at the vivid replay in my head. What was I supposed to say after that? He’d been very clear. Crystal-freaking-clear.
If I’d been seeing straight at the time, if I’d been able to focus on anything except his parting words, I’m sure that I’d have seen that he was right. We were totally wrong for each other. It was only a matter of time before this happened. I’d been fooling myself that things would work out with so many strikes against us.