I gave her a look. “Your compassion leaves a lot to be desired.”
“I haven’t cried over a guy since I was a kid. It was an unrequited love thing. I was madly in love with a friend of my brother’s, but he didn’t even notice me. Tears didn’t do much to change the situation. Soon after, my life got so that I couldn’t be soft. It was either toughen up or die.”
“What a beautiful story.”
“I know. Nora Roberts should be calling me any day.”
“So you’re telling me I should toughen up.”
She snorted. “When I first heard about you, Sarah, I would have predicted that you were harder than nails. I mean, the Slayer of Slayers, right? You’re avampire . You should be all . . .grrr .” She held her hands up like Nosferatu claws and snapped her teeth at me.
I blinked at her. “Right. Well, sorry to have disappointed you.”
She shrugged. “Not a disappointment as much as a surprise. You know, I like you. You seem fairly sincere.”
“I am sincere. I am the epitome of sincere.”
“You wear your emotions on your sleeve.” She shook her head. “Pretty dangerous to do that in your situation. But good for you, I guess. I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because of what I do. If I let my guard down and turn my back I’ll probably find a knife in it.” Her eyes narrowed. “My brother let his guard down and he’s dead.”
“I’m so sorry about that. Any leads on who did it?”
Her expression grew cold. “Yes. As soon as I finish up my other business, I’m going to take care of that little matter.”
I felt a chill at her words.Take care of that little matter?
After a moment she spoke again. “Is it hard being a vampire?”
I took a deep breath. “Yes, it is. But it’s hard being human, too. It’s the same thing with different rules. I mean, I still need a place to live.”
“You seem to have recovered pretty quickly considering you lost everything the other night.”
My stomach lurched just thinking about it. “I haven’t recovered, but I try to dwell on it as little as possible. It almost killed me. Who knows, maybe it did. Maybe I’m dead and heaven is exactly like my everyday life. Only worse. Or maybe this is hell.”
“Maybe you can get a nice new coffin. Lined in satin.”
I rolled my eyes. “No thank you. Besides, I’m seriously claustrophobic. I need space. I don’t know how much longer I can live with George.”
She smiled. “George is hot. He doesn’t swing both ways, does he?”
“Not that I’m aware of. Besides, I don’t think you want to get mixed up with a vampire. The drinking-blood thing is a serious turn-off.”
She grimaced. “Maybe you’re right. That is disgusting.”
“I only drink it because I have to. I needed it more when I was first turned. Now I can go a bit longer.”
“Before you turn all . . . grrr?” Nosferatu claws again.
“I get stomach cramps from hell.” I shivered at the memory. Hadn’t happened lately, but the flashback was enough to remind me how bad it could be if I didn’t watch my diet.
She studied me for a moment. “I’ve heard some rumors about dead bodies discovered lately in Toronto with puncture marks on their necks. Are you talking about a pain that would prompt you to attack a human?”
I crossed my arms. “I heard about that, too, and absolutely not. I can’t ever see myself biting anybody no matter how much pain I’m in.”
I thought about black-eyed Thierry and how he’d lost control the other night. Would that ever happen to me? It seemed so unlikely that I didn’t even want to give it a thought.
“I’ve seen the dark side,” Janie said. “I’ve seen out-of-control vamps, and there’s nothing fun or friendly about them.”
“Lucky you.”
“But you’re different. I can see that. That’s what makes things so difficult.”
“Makes what difficult?”
She shook her head. “So you’re in love with this Thierry guy, huh?”
I nodded.
“Love is an emotion for fools,” she said.
“Gee, what a lovely sentiment.”
She laughed. “Sweetie, you’re a mystery. That’s for damn sure. Listen, I know you probably don’t give a shit what my opinion is on your messed-up love life, but I’m going to give it to you anyhow.”
“Let me guess. I should forget about Thierry since he’s wrong for me and will only bring me pain? Take a number on that piece of advice.”
She shook her head. “If you’re seriously into this Thierry guy, you need to forget about what anybody else says, because who the hell cares what anybody else thinks? They’re not you. You’re the only one who knows what you want. And you’re the only one who can get it. Don’t even listen to Thierry himself, because he’s obviously just trying to protect you from him, which is probably not such a bad idea. If after all these warnings and red lights, you’re still convinced that you’re in love with this freak, then start fighting for him.”
“He doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. He always finds a way to walk away from uncomfortable discussions.”
She sighed. “Stop being such a spineless coward. If you want to fight for your man, you need to force him to listen to you. Force him to hear how much you love him. You know, silver handcuffs do work wonders on vamps. Even old ones.”
I raised my eyebrows at that. “And you’re speaking from personal experience?”
She grinned. “I’ll never tell. But I do keep a pair on me at all times just in case.”
“I don’t know.”
“Then if you don’t know, that’s your answer. It doesn’t matter. If it does matter, then you know what to do.”
“He sounded very convinced that it was over between us. He even sold the club and is planning to leave town.”
“Then it’s over.”