“I agree.”
“See? We don’t disagree about everything.” I paused. “Besides, you wouldn’t want to miss your flight toFrance tomorrow.”
His expression tensed. “No, I wouldn’t want that.”
“I saw the papers in your office. You don’t have to hire anybody to look after me, you know. I’ll manage.”
“You weren’t meant to see that.”
Time to be brave and put on a good face. After everything that had happened, it was the least I could do.
“But I did. Look, I want you to know that I’m okay with it. Whatever you decide to do, even if it’s leaving the country. I just hope that it’s not just to get away from me. I have enough of a complex as it is.”
He pulled at his bindings. “It’s not just because of you, Sarah. Now, please, we need to leave this place.”
I studied him for a moment, all tied up with no place to go. “Well, isn’t this interesting. Can’t escape now, can you?”
He stopped struggling and looked at me. He cocked an eyebrow. “Escape?”
“Yeah, every time we start to talk about something uncomfortable you turn around and leave.”
“I leave when there is nothing left to say.”
“No, you leave when there’s nothing left foryou to say.”
“It is the same thing.”
I crossed my arms. “Fine. So it’s over between us. You made your point loud and clear earlier. But now that I have your undivided attention I have a few last things I want to say to you before you go ahead and leave the country.”
He sighed. “Sarah—”
“Please, Thierry. Just listen to me, okay?”
His jaw tensed. “Very well.”
I swallowed hard. “I went to see Quinn tonight. I told him that you said that we should be together. I told him that if he helped me rescue you then we could be. Together. Him and me.”
Thierry’s expression hardened. He nodded. “It is the right thing.”
I clenched my fists. “No it’s not. And you know why? Because after everything that’s happened, after knowing you all these weeks, I’ve found out a few things about you. You’re kind of a jerk. A little bit self-involved, to say the least. Very private. Secretive.” I touched my neck. “And you bit me. You almost killed me. I tried to sugarcoat it, but that’s what happened. There is a monster inside you, Thierry, and not one I’m particularly fond of.”
He nodded and turned his gaze away.
“You haven’t even touched me since we were in Mexico ,” I continued, “other than a few kisses. I tried to tell myself it was because you’ve been so busy with the new club, but I don’t think it was just that, was it? You’ve been avoiding me on purpose. Maybe you were hoping that I’d end things before you had to?”
He looked at me. “Perhaps.”
“Everybody. Absolutely everybody has been telling me over and over and over that you and I have no chance of making things work between the two of us.”
I walked over to him and crouched next to him.
“And then you go and break up with me. Tell me that you’re leaving the country. It hurt so bad. Even though I always knew that it was only a matter of time. And when you told me that I should go after
Quinn, the guy who on paper is totally right for me, who has always put me up on a pedestal and makes me feel like I mean something in the grand scheme of things, do you know what I wanted to do?”
He shook his head stiffly. “You wanted to go to him.”
“No. It made me want to scream. Because you are so damn stupid.”
His eyebrows went up and he looked at me. “Stupid?”
“Yes. You’re too stupid to see how in love with you I am. And after finding out about your dark side,
after learning everyone else’s opinion about us, after everything, all I want to do is be with you. Finding out you’re completely messed up doesn’t make me love you any less, it makes me love you even more.
And maybe that makes me foolish. Maybe that makes me stupid, but I don’t really give a shit what anybody else thinks. All I care about is what I think. And what you think.” I sniffed. “And unfortunately,
you don’t feel the same way about me. Or even a fraction. I get that. But it doesn’t make me love you any less. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.”
“Sarah—”
“I know this was just a quick fling for you. I’m too young, too naive, too . . . as Veronique put it . . . goofy . I think she could have picked a less Disney word, but it’s the truth, I guess. I know I don’t fit into your life. And I . . . I don’t care. None of it changes how much I love you. I tried listening to everyone else tell me what I was feeling wasn’t real. And I almost believed them. But they’re wrong. My heart wouldn’t feel like it does if they were right. But I’m not going to force myself into your life if you don’t want me. And I know I’m not . . . not a lot of things. Nicolai just said that there’s nothing special about me. I know that. You deserve more that I just can’t give you.”
He swallowed. “You are a fool, Sarah.”
I laughed. “Gee, thanks for the confirmation.”
“You would risk your life to come here to save me, someone who has hurt you over and over? And you still tell me you care for me?”
“I know. I’m a total dork.”
He blinked. Hard. “You are a gift I did nothing to deserve.”
I felt a big hot tear slip down my cheek. “What?”
“Are you finished with your little speech?”
I nodded.
“Very good. Because now you will listen to me.” He shifted in his seat, his hands still locked behind him.
“You are too young, much too naive, and more than your share of . . .goofy . This is all true. And tonight after all I said to you, and didn’t say, I believed that I had lost you forever. You and Quinn . . . I know he cares for you. I know you care for him. I knew it was the right decision. But I wasn’t prepared for the knife I felt cut through my heart at the thought of him with you. Him and not me.”
He paused. My heart was thudding madly in my chest.
“This is wrong. You and me,” he continued. “Logically I know this. But I cannot help but wish it were different. That we lived in a different world. That I could ensure your safety both from the outside world and from me. I thought, when I bit you, that you would finally come to your senses. Finally see me for the monster that I had tried to hide from you by distancing myself at every opportunity. But when you didn’t seem to care . . . when your sense of self-preservation seemed to stop in your dealings with me, I knew that I had to take harsh measures to ensure your safety. Even if it meant hurting you.”