'There, there,' he said. 'You must not be so distressed. Your mistress shall have everything you wish for her. She has been lucky, indeed, to have had so good and faithful a servant, as you!'
He patted and smoothed my hand, then let it go. He looked at his watch. He caught Gentleman's eye, and nodded. 'Very good,' he said. 'Very good. Now, if you might just show us— ?'
'Of course,' said Gentleman quickly. 'Of course. This way' He opened the door, and they turned their black backs to me and all moved off. I watched them do it, and was gripped suddenly by a feeling— I could not say if it was misery, or fear. I took a step and called out after them.
'She don't like eggs, sir!' I called. Dr Christie half turned. I had lifted my hand. Now I let it fall. 'She don't like eggs,' I said more feebly, 'in any kind of dish.'
It was all I could think of. He smiled, and bowed; but in a humouring kind of way. Dr Graves wrote— or pretended to write— in his book, Don't care for eggs. Gentleman led them both across to Maud's room. Then he came back to me.
'You'll keep here, until they've seen her?' he said.
I did not answer. He shut my door. But those walls were like paper: I heard them move about, caught the rumble of the doctor's questions; then, after a minute or so, came the thin rising and falling of her tears.
They did not stay with her long. I suppose they had all they needed, from me and Mrs Cream. When they had gone I went to her, and Gentleman was standing behind her chair, holding her pale head between his hands. He had been leaning to gaze at her, perhaps to whisper and tease. When he saw me come he straightened and said,
'Look, Sue, at your mistress. Don't you think her eyes a little brighter?'
They were bright, with the last of her tears still in them; and they were red at the rims.
'Are you well, miss?' I said.
'She is well,' said Gentleman. 'I think the company of friends has cheered her. I think those dear good fellows, Christie and Graves, were quite delighted with her; and you tell me, Sue, when did a lady ever not begin to flourish, under a gentleman's delight?'
She turned her head and raised her hand, and plucked a little weakly at his pressing fingers. He stood holding her face a moment longer, then stepped away.
'What a fool I've been,' he said to me. 'I've asked Mrs Rivers to grow strong, in this quiet place, thinking the quietness would help her. Now I see that what she needs is the bustle of the city. Graves and Christie saw it, too. They are so eager to have us join them at Chelsea— why, Christie is giving us the use of his own coach and driver! We are to leave tomorrow. Maud, what do you say to that?'
She had turned her gaze to the window. Now she lifted her head to him, and a little blood struggled into her white cheeks.
109
'Tomorrow?' she said. 'So soon as that?'
He nodded. 'Tomorrow we'll go. To a great house, with fine, quiet rooms, and good servants in it, that waits there just for you.'
Next day she put her breakfast of eggs and meat aside, as usual; but even I could not eat it. I dressed her without looking at her. I knew every part of her. She wore the old gown still, that was stained with mud, and I wore the handsome silk one. She would not let me change out of it, even for travelling, though I knew it would crease.
I thought of wearing it back in the Borough. I could not believe that I would be at home again, with Mrs Sucksby, before it was dark.
I packed her bags. I did it slowly, hardly feeling the things I touched. Into one bag went her linen, her slippers, her sleeping-drops, a bonnet, a brush— that was for her to take to the madhouse. Into the other went everything else. That was for me. Only that white glove I think I have mentioned, did I keep to one side; and when the bags were filled I put it, neatly, inside the bodice of my gown, over my heart.
The coach came, and we were ready. Mrs Cream saw us to the door. Maud wore a veil.
I helped her down the tilting staircase, and
she gripped my arm. When we stepped out of the cottage she gripped it tighter. She had kept to her room for more than a week. She flinched from the sight of the sky and the black church, and seemed to feel the soft air hard upon her cheek, even through her veil, like a hand that slapped her.
I put my fingers over hers.
'God bless you, ma'am!' cried Mrs Cream, when Gentleman had paid her. She stood and watched us. The boy who had taken our horse, that first night, now appeared again, to see us leaving; and one or two other boys also came to stare, and to stand at the side of the coach, pickingat the doors, where an old gold crest had been painted out black. The driver flicked his whip at them. He fastened our bags upon the roof, then let the steps down. Gentleman handed Maud in, drawing her fingers from mine.
He caught my eye.
'Now, now,' he said, in a warning sort of way. 'No time for sentiment.'
She sat and leaned her head back, and he sat beside her. I sat opposite. There were no handles to the doors, only a key, like the key to a safe: when the driver closed them Gentleman made them fast, then put the key in his pocket.
'How long will we travel?' asked Maud.
He said, 'An hour.'
It seemed longer than an hour. It seemed like a life. The day was a warm one. Where the sun struck the glass it made the carriage very hot, but the windows had been fixed not to open— I suppose, so a lunatic should not have the chance to leap out. At last Gentleman pulled a cord to make the blinds close, and we sat jolting in the heat and the darkness, not speaking. In time I began to grow sick. I saw Maud's head rolling against the padding of the seat, but could not see if her eyes were open or closed. She kept her hands before her, clasped.
Gentleman fidgeted, however, loosening his collar, looking at his watch, plucking at his cuffs. Two or three times he took out his handkerchief and wiped off his brow.
Every time the coach slowed, he leaned close to the window to peer through the 110
louvres. Then it
slowed so hard it came almost to a stop, and began to turn: he looked again, sat straight and tightened his neck-tie.
'We are almost there,' he said.
Maud turned her head to him. The coach slowed again. I pulled the cord that moved the blinds. We were at the start of a green lane, with a stone arch across it and, beneath that, iron gates. A man was drawing them back. The coach gave a jerk, and we drove along the lane until we reached the house at the end. It was just like at Briar, though this house was smaller, and neater. Its windows had bars on them. I watched Maud, to see what she would do. She had put back her veil and was gazing from the window in her old dull way; but behind the dullness I thought I saw a rising kind of knowledge or dread.
'Don't be afraid,' said Gentleman.
That was all he said. I don't know if he said it to her, or to me. The coach made another turn, and stopped. Dr Graves and Dr Christie were there, waiting for us, with beside them a great stout woman, her sleeves pushed up to her elbows and her gown covered over with an apron of canvas, like a butcher's. Dr Christie came forward. He had a key like Gentleman's, and let up the lock from his side. Maud flinched at the sound. Gentleman put his hand upon her. Dr Christie made a bow.
'Good day,' he said. 'Mr Rivers. Miss Smith. Mrs Rivers, you remember me of course?'
He held out his hand.
He held it to me.
There was a second, I think, of perfect stillness. I looked at him, and he nodded. 'Mrs Rivers?' he said again. Then Gentleman leaned and caught hold of my arm. I thought at first he meant to keep me in my seat; then I understood that he was trying to press me from it. The doctor took my other arm. They got me to my feet. My shoes caught upon the steps. I said,
'Wait! What are you doing? What— ?'
'Don't struggle, Mrs Rivers,' said the doctor. 'We are here to care for you.'
He waved his hand, and Dr Graves and the woman came forward. I said,
'It's not me you want! What are you doing? Mrs Rivers? I'm Susan Smith! Gentleman!
Gentleman, tell them!'