We dashed outside and found a spot for Fluffy to have some privacy under a jacaranda tree behind the church. I pulled out a Doody Bag from my purse and removed all evidence that she’d ever been there.
“Did you notice Mona’s intimate circle of friends didn’t even look at each other?” Darby sounded as if she had suddenly caught a case of the sniffles.
“We should be thankful. Mean and cunning is a dangerous combination.”
I checked her out surreptitiously under my lashes. Yup, she’d been crying. Kindhearted Darby. It was sweet. I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I ignored it.
We found a Dumpster in the back of the parking lot and tossed our obscenely large Fluffy gift inside. I dug out a bottle of hand sanitizer from my bag and squeezed a dollop into my palm.
I’d been watching for Caro since the end of the service, but she must have escaped out a side door. I hadn’t seen the one other person I needed to set straight either.
“Have you seen Tova?” I asked.
“Not since we left the church,” Darby replied.
We doubled back to the front where a group of phony mourners had amassed.
“Let’s drown our sorrows at the Kitty Cat Club,” someone suggested.
For those not in the know, the Kitty Cat Club was the only bar in Laguna where you could catch a drag show on the weekend. Word on the street was the performance was pretty decent.
I was ready to head back to the Jeep, but Fluffy towed me in Cliff’s direction, who was talking on his cell as he trudged toward the parking lot.
“Really? You want to see him?” Fluffy continued to pull on the leash. “Oh, all right.” I couldn’t believe she missed the jerk.
I turned to tell Darby where we were heading, but she was in a deep conversation with Don Furry. Poor guy was probably still upset about the missing ARL donation.
As we approached Mona’s ex, I could hear his side of the conversation.
“I heard you.” Cliff’s words took on a menacing tone. “I don’t have it right now. She didn’t leave me the damn dog.”
I slowed my steps. Fluffy pulled against the leash to walk faster.
“Once I get my hands on that dog I’ll be able to pay you back.” He shoved his hand in his front pocket.
Of course, now he wanted Fluffy. Because he owed someone money? I’d love to know whom he was talking to.
“I just need a couple more days,” he insisted. He swore and hung up.
He whipped around, anger and fear clearly imprinted on his face.
“Hey, Cliff. Nice ceremony. I hope you don’t mind, Fluffy wanted to say hello,” I pretended, as if I hadn’t overheard his conversation.
Fluffy nuzzled his knee, and Cliff absently patted her head. “I want my dog,” he demanded.
Instinctively, I took a step back. “I don’t think so.”
“I have custody every Wednesday.” He wrapped his fingers around the leash. His greedy gaze landed on Fluffy’s collar.
Uh-oh. “That was days ago. You weren’t interested. Besides, you have visitation, not custody.”
Fluffy tensed and pulled back from his grasp.
Cliff narrowed his black coffee eyes and rubbed his unshaved jaw with his free hand. The little hairs on the back of my neck took notice and warned me to proceed with caution.
I gripped the leash tighter. “I know the truth. As Fluffy’s legal guardian, I was supplied with the facts. The real facts.”
“It doesn’t change that it’s a court order. You have to give me the dog. I have to have the dog,” he slurred. He tugged the leash, and both Fluffy and I jumped. Fluffy yelped as I accidentally stepped on her paw.
“Sorry, girl.”
Malone appeared out of nowhere. “That’s in interesting choice of words, Mr. Michaels. Why do you have to have Fluffy?”
Malone glowered at Cliff’s grip. Mona’s ex let go of the leash. I immediately stepped out of his reach, keeping Fluffy close to my side. My mouth felt like the Texas plains.
Beads of sweat popped out on Cliff’s forehead. “Mona owes me that much. We had an agreement.” His voice rose.
“Sounds like she stiffed you. Some people get desperate when they don’t get what they think they deserve,” I said.
Cliff looked wildly between me and Malone. Fluffy growled. This wasn’t good.
“I’m not desperate,” he shouted. “I just want what’s mine. What Mona promised.”
“How much money do you owe?” Malone’s calm voice and demeanor belied the watchful tension he radiated.
“Keep your nose out of my business.” The hatred etched on Cliff’s face made me catch my breath.
With one last sneer, he stormed off toward his Land Rover.
I looked at Malone. “Lord have mercy. He killed Mona.”
“Stay out of it,” he barked.
My heart raced. “I’m not in anything. I’m just telling you he killed Mona.” Then I remembered the argument in the bathroom. “Unless it was Jo.”
“What?” His irritated growl rivaled Fluffy’s.
“You know, Jo O’Malley, the pet psychic. I just overheard her threatening Tricia in the ladies room before the service started.”
“About what?” he asked reluctantly.
“I’m not really sure. If I had to guess, it was about Mona.”
“Don’t guess. Stay out of it.” He turned on his heel and walked away.
Fluffy and I chased after him. It was difficult to keep up in my four-inch Louboutin pumps. “But what else could she be talking about? What if Jo murdered Mona?” I asked.
“Are you and your cousin hard of hearing? Stay out of it.” He didn’t look over his shoulder. Or slow down.
“But what if Mona realized Jo was a fraud and threatened to expose her? People kill each other over that kind of stuff.”
“Cut back on the drama cable shows.”
“You know it’s true. People have killed because their reputations and businesses are about to be destroyed.”
He froze. I ran into his back. Dang, he was buff under that leather jacket. He whipped around. I could clearly see his unreadable face.
“You mean like you and your friend Darby?” he asked quietly.
“You know I didn’t do it. And Darby certainly didn’t have anything to do with Mona’s death,” I denied.
“How can you be so sure?”
Ok, so he’d checked out the cell phone and had probably found a way to listen to her message. This wasn’t looking good for my buddy. “What did she gain from Mona’s death? Nothing.”
He looked like he wanted to say something but stopped himself. “Stay out of this, or I’ll have you arrested.”
I held up my hand. “I’m not a part of it. I’m only here because Mona dictated, from beyond her grave, that Her Majesty attend the service.”
“Stay out of it,” he shot me the evil eye, “or I’ll throw you in jail.”
News flash. I’d already spent a night in jail.
It had happened shortly after The Incident when I was trying to prove I was my own person. Public intoxication had landed me in the city jail for twenty-four hours. Daddy had refused to bail me out. He was stubborn that way.
After a few hours I’d gotten used to the stench. Sleeping on the cold, concrete floor between the other drunks and a hooker named Daisy, I’d realized I could survive just about anything.
Bring it on, Malone. A short stay behind posh Laguna Beach bars doesn’t scare me. But his innuendo about Darby, now that had me worried.
Our little trio regrouped. We meandered toward the Jeep chatting about the funeral and my suspicion that either Cliff or Jo had killed Mona. I sugarcoated the confrontation between Cliff, Malone and me. I completely left out Malone’s suspicion about Darby.
We were guessing how much Cliff owed when, out of nowhere, a black SUV jumped the curb and sped into the church parking lot. It slammed to a stop and parked behind Cliff’s Land Rover.
A nervous Cliff stood next his vehicle. The SUV driver’s window rolled down a crack. I stopped.
“Mel, what’s going on?” Darby asked.
“Hold on.” I strained to hear across the parking lot, hoping to catch a portion of the conversation. I couldn’t hear anything, but I could tell by Cliff’s stiff stance and balled fists he was angry.
From the corner of my eye, Malone appeared and casually headed in Cliff’s direction. The driver must have seen him, too, and wasn’t interested in a chat.
The tinted window rolled up, and the vehicle squealed out of the parking lot, leaving behind a distraught Cliff and an irritated and suspicious Malone. Oh, and about two feet of tire rubber.
“Cliff’s implicating himself further by the minute,” I said. Darby had nothing to worry about.