That night, as everyone else slept spread out on woven platforms across the tree village, Infidel stepped down onto a thick branch. Relic stirred from his sleep and held out a leather sack the size of a saddlebag. She took the bag and climbed down the vine-draped trunk in silence. When she reached the ground, she followed a trail to the nearby stream, then followed this to a large pool. Looking around to make certain no one was watching, she shed her clothes and plunged in. Her body gleamed beneath the water’s surface like a silver-skinned fish darting about. She surfaced with a gasp, rubbing her face, ridding herself of the sweat of the day. Whatever dye Menagerie had used wasn’t smeared by her fingers. Now that she was wet, the illusion that her skin was metal was especially strong.
After only a moment in the pool, she rose from the water and opened the sack, producing a rolled up towel. Wrapped within it were fresh jawa fruits and several of the snails. She gobbled them down as she dried her hair. Mosquitoes crawled over her arms and legs, denting their noses on her impenetrable skin. She paid no attention to them as she finished off the snails in record time. She wiped her mouth then leaned over the pool, looking at her faint reflection in the still water. Her face went slack as she studied herself. Her eyes had a distant focus, as if she wasn’t watching her reflection but was, instead, lost in memory.
She looked, if you will forgive the expression, haunted.
Was I causing psychic harm by sticking around? Did she sense me watching her and feel guilt? Should I leave and spare her any further pain? Could I leave if I tried?
My musings were cut short by Relic’s voice in my head.
Return to me.
“I’m busy,” I said.
Return to me!
The command felt like a thousand fishhooks tearing into my brain. He reeled me in as I flopped about. Fortunately, my agony was short lived, halting the second I stood before him. He was curled up on the netting, completely still; to anyone else he would have looked asleep. I saw the bone-handled knife clutched securely in his gnarled claw.
“I don’t like being pushed around,” I said.
We have our bargain.
“Do we? I agreed to watch Tower and the others. I don’t remember signing on to be your slave.”
And yet, you aren’t watching Tower.
“He’s probably asleep,” I said.
I am certain he is not. He and Father Ver are outside the range of my mental powers, but I can still hear the murmurs of their voices on the night breeze. Go and listen to their conversation.
He shoved me with his mind out into the open air beside the central tree house. Tower and Father Ver slept separated from the rest of the rabble on a platform a good fifty yards distant. Apparently, Relic’s telepathy didn’t extend terribly far. The knight and the cleric had hung sheets of canvas for privacy. A glorystone cast their shadows on the cloth walls. I misted straight through the canvas into their room. To my surprise, Tower had shed his armor. For some reason, I’d expected him to sleep in it. If the monks could pray that the armor be invulnerable in battle, couldn’t they also make it pillow soft come bedtime?
Out of his armor, Tower looked… ordinary. Not average, by any means, but nothing like the iron-clad warrior feared by evil-doers everywhere. Rumors of terrible scars proved unfounded. The few nicks and divots around his eyes and lips testified he’d taken a few hits over the years, but the scars were hardly disfiguring. If anything, they gave character to a face so symmetrical it was boring. He had a square jaw and a nose that jutted from his face at a perfect thirty degree angle. His black hair was cut in a bowl style that would have been unflattering on almost any other head. Here, it served to draw attention to the sharp lines of his cheek bones and his pale gray eyes. The only person I’d ever met who shared this eye color was Infidel.
Save for stray silver hairs, he had the appearance of a man in his early thirties, though, if I understood the chronology of Infidel’s life, he must be closer to my age.
He was dressed in a simple linen shirt and tight-fitting cotton pants that showed off his muscular legs. He was kneeling by the side of the platform, his head bowed to touch the floor. I drew closer just in time to hear his whispered prayers come to an end. He closed his supplication to the Divine Author with, “… and grant me the wisdom to tell lust from love, desire from devotion. Amen.”
It seemed like a prayer most men would find handy, though I was a little surprised lust was high on Lord Tower’s list of concerns. He rose, a little closer to the edge of the sagging platform than most men would find comfortable. Perhaps he spent so much time flying with the Gloryhammer he’d lost all fear of heights. I wondered where the legendary weapon was. Or the armor; it should have made quite a pile once it was off him. Not to mention the Immaculate Attire, which they’d removed before they buried Blade. And, for that matter, where was the Jagged Heart? There still was no evidence that Tower had the harpoon.
Father Ver was sitting nearby, also kneeling, his head beaded with sweat. He was stripped from the waist up, his robes bunched around his hips. Before him lay a two-foot-long braid of leather. I drifted around behind him and saw bright red welts raised among the constellation of scabs along his back.
Tower pulled a small leather notebook from the waistband of his pants. This was the book Zetetic had taken. As he flipped through the pages, he said, softly, “There’s no point in blaming yourself. Blade was the one who chose to dabble in dream magic. You couldn’t have known.”
“We both know that isn’t true,” Father Ver said, closing his eyes. “I could have known.” His voice sounded wet and raspy, as if he’d been crying. “I’ve made too many bad bargains. My pursuit of the greater good has forced me to accept the unacceptable. Ten thousand years of lashings can never erase the harm I’ve done to my soul by agreeing to these compromises.”
“The Divine Author would not have given you these trials if he did not feel you could endure them,” said Tower. “I need you, Ver. You’re the wisest man I’ve ever known. I wouldn’t have accepted this mission without you on the team. But you’ll be of no use to me if you’re too paralyzed by guilt to do the job.”
“I have no guilt,” said Father Ver. “Undeserved guilt is a form of self-deception. Instead I feel shame, regret, and anger.”
“Well, try to work on those,” said Tower dismissively, looking away from the holy man and gazing out of the jungle. “I’m going to go get a little fresh air.”
Without warning he pitched forward and dropped off the edge. We were a hundred feet up. He hadn’t struck me as suicidal. I drifted over the lip of the platform. A light suddenly sparked below, casting shadows upward. I looked down and saw the Gloryhammer in Tower’s right hand; the small notebook was still in his left. His forearm bulged as he gripped the glowing weapon and shot off through the trees, deftly avoiding vines and trunks. I followed, though I didn’t need to follow far. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach as I realized where he was heading. The night went dark again as his feet touched down and the Gloryhammer suddenly disappeared. I blinked as I caught up to him. What had he done with the hammer? Could he simply summon it at will? He stuck the notebook back into the waistband of his britches.
The mystery of the missing hammer was the least of my concerns. Tower had flown directly to the pool, landing barely five yards in front of Infidel, who still perched on the rock, buck naked. Her eyes were wide with shock. She had one arm across her breasts, and the towel draped over her lap. Tower dropped to one knee before her and bowed deeply.
“Princess Innocent,” he said, in a voice just above a whisper. “I offer thanks to the Divine Author that you are still alive.”
“Ummm…” said Infidel. She furrowed her brow. “Hmm.”
“I presume you wear this disguise because you fear retribution from the church,” he said. “You have nothing to fear, my princess. The king has long since used his influence to revoke the sentence of death placed upon you in absentia. Given the unmistakable perfection of your lineage, the Voice of the Book agreed that a proper trial was in order before any punishment is decided.”
Infidel bit her lower lip. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. I couldn’t tell if she was still maintaining the ruse that she was a machine, or if she just didn’t know what to say.
Tower continued: “When you disappeared on our wedding day, I suspected you were kidnapped by one of my political enemies. My investigation eventually led to Lord Claypot. He possessed some magic that confounded the Truthspeakers, but I had him tortured until he confessed the plot. Alas, he expired before I learned the full details of the events of that fateful day fourteen years, seven months, and nine days ago.”
Infidel continued to silently stare at the knight.
“I did discover that you had escaped, but were in hiding because you feared retribution from the small segment of fanatics within the Church of the Book who blame you for the destruction. I assure you, I will protect you from them with all my powers. You were a pure and chaste young woman untainted by any hint of wickedness. I’m certain of your innocence, and trust you have the best of reasons for not returning home after you escaped from your captors.”
“Well, yeah,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Like, this ‘pure and chaste young woman’ crap. What the hell? If my father’s spies are even halfway competent, you have to know I support myself primarily by killing people for money. Don’t you think, maybe, just maybe, I don’t exactly fit the definition of pure?”
“I, too, have killed men,” said Tower. “Yet, my heart is pure. Motives matter when judging actions. You’ve done what you must to survive.”
“Motives?” Infidel shook her head sadly. “You idiot. My number one motive was to get away from you!”
“Bu… but… but…” Tower’s face fell as her words sank in.
“Turn around,” said Infidel. “Did you have to wait until I was naked to have this little heart to heart?”
Tower turned around. “I didn’t know you’d be naked. Since I knew you were in the area, I had the Gloryhammer guide me to you. It was poor timing that you are unrobed. I promise I haven’t seen anything. I kept my eyes toward the ground.”
“‘I promise I haven’t seen anything,’” Infidel said in a mocking tone. She jumped from the rock and grabbed her pants. “By the sacred quill! You’re still the same simpering bore. I wouldn’t expect you to know this, but some women are actually flattered by the idea that men want to look at them. When we were engaged, I couldn’t even get eye contact. You acted like holding my hand before marriage might get us sent to hell! I used to have nightmares that you’d show up in our wedding bed with full plate armor, a blindfold, and a pair of tongs.”
She pulled up her pants, buttoning them hastily, getting one of the buttons out of order, so that the leather sat on her hips at an odd angle. She turned around and found the steel bra she’d been wearing, pulling free the cotton slip inside. “If you’ve known since the damned cave who I really was, you should have said something so I could get out of this damned metal bra. My nipples are killing me!”
She spun back to face him, preparing to pull on the slip, and jumped slightly when she found Tower standing only inches from her. He was staring at her with fire in his eyes. “You dreamed…” he said, breathing heavily, “of our wedding night? Don’t you think I had such dreams as well?”
She didn’t get a chance to answer. He suddenly grabbed her by both arms and pressed his mouth to hers. Her eyes bulged as he pulled her to him, pressing her still naked breasts against his chest. He worked his lips against hers for a long moment. I watched in gruesome anticipation, certain that at any moment Infidel would decapitate this lustful fool. But, to my growing horror, she didn’t move a muscle. She let him kiss her for five seconds, ten, a minute, as her eyes stayed wide open. Finally, she pushed him away, with frustrating gentleness.
“Ooookay,” she said, pausing to wipe her lips with the back of her hand. “Let’s stop for a minute. I’ve spent fifteen years avoiding assassins sent after me by the Church of the Book. I’m telling you point blank that I found you boring beyond all imagination when we were engaged. Can you understand I might be a little confused that you show up fifteen years later finally wanting to kiss?”
“I want much more than a kiss,” Tower growled, pulling her against his chest once again. He looked down into her eyes. “When you were young, I found you utterly uninteresting. I was a battle-hardened warrior who’d traveled the world. You were a spoiled child, completely ignorant of life beyond the palace gates. You did nothing to stir my baser passions. But you… you are no longer sweet, virginal, Innocent. You’re a warrior with blood on her hands. Indeed, not just on your hands… you have a dragon’s blood pumping in your very veins. Having witnessed your strength, I know that rumor that you consumed Verdant’s blood must be true.”
“You know I could crush your head like an eggshell?”
“Yes! Whatever the reasons for your actions, you are now the perfect match for my passion! I am a man of fiery needs. You will find no plate mail or tongs in our wedding chamber. There will only be an endless bed covered in the finest silk, upon which we will crawl and scream and bite and scratch! We shall smother each other with our lust! The earth will tremble as I hammer you with my-”
“Whoah!” said Infidel, raising a finger to his lips. “Calm down.”
He closed his lips over her finger, and shut his eyes. He let loose a moan of pleasure as he sucked her slender digit.
“Nnyarg!” I cried out, gripping my ghost hair, tugging with all my might. This was the most horrible thing I’d seen in my entire life — you know what I mean — and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Nor could I turn away. My traitorous eyes remained fixed on the lustful display. Tower ran his hands along Infidel’s bare back as he embraced her tightly. Why wasn’t she stopping this?
“Wow,” she said, pulling her finger free, then pushing him with her other hand. She spun around, swiftly pulling on her slip. “So… wow. Wow. I, uh, I really don’t know what to say, Tower.”
“What is there to say?” I shouted at her. “Tear his lips off!”
“Just say that you want to surrender to me,” said Tower, coming up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Say that you long for me with all your heart-” he lowered his lips to her ear and finished in a whispered growl “-and all your body.”
He blew gently on her ear. She shivered, gently raising her hands to his, before peeling them away and putting a little space between them.
She didn’t look at him as she said, “It’s funny you should show up now.”
“It’s destiny. All things unfold according to the One True Book. We parted so that we each could grow, to become the perfect match for the other.”
“Yeah,” she said, crossing her arms. “I mean, no. I mean, look, I don’t know what I mean. Lately, I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking of how to get back to a life of royalty. Then, boom, here you are, telling me you can make it happen. And, I have to say, if I’d seen this level of interest from you fifteen years ago, maybe things might have played out differently. But you can’t just show up and start slobbering all over me. What the hell ever happened to courtship?”
Tower dropped to his knees once more. He grabbed her hand, cupping it with both palms in a prayerful pose and said, “If it’s courtship you desire, I promise you romance beyond your imagination. I shall fly to the moon and carve your portrait to decorate the night sky. I shall part the sea and pluck pearls from the depths. I will search every corner of the world for flowers and perfumes and silks to adorn your bedroom. You will wear a wedding dress spun from pure gold, beaded with priceless gems from Greatshadow’s treasure. The entire world will-”
“I get the idea,” said Infidel, again silencing him with a finger on his lips, then snatching the finger back as his lips parted. “How about cake? Would you go get me a slice of cake?”
“For you, my love, anything,” he vowed.
“Make it chocolate.”
Ten seconds of silence passed as she looked down at him. Tower furrowed his brow. “Right now?”
“Why not now?”
“We… um… we’re in the middle of a jungle. The nearest town is Commonground and it’s in ruins. At top speed, I would need a full day to fly back to the Silver Isle to find a baker.”
“So… no cake.”
Tower frowned. Then, he said, in utter seriousness. “If… if you demand it, I will go.”
She shrugged. “I guess I can wait.”
“Thank you,” he said.
She leaned back against a tree and took a second to fix her mis-buttoned pants. “So you saw right through my disguise. What about the Father Ver?”
“I don’t know why he accepts that you are a machine. It doesn’t matter, in the end. If he suspected the truth, he’d have already ordered that I apprehend you and secure you until a trial could be held.”
“Would you?”
Tower looked like he wished he’d left for the cake.
His features sagged as he looked to the ground.
“I would have no choice but to obey Ver’s direct command,” he said. “Even without his powers.”
Infidel placed a hand on his shoulder. “You know, I kind of like that. I mean, five minutes ago you were a lust-crazed teenager. Now, you’re a knight with a sense of duty and honor. Somewhere between these extremes is my idea of a pretty good man.”
“No!” I shouted. “No, no, no, no, no!”
The faintest ghost of a smile flickered across her lips as he gently kissed the back of her hand.
“Thank you for understanding,” he said.
She shrugged. “No problem.”
I spun around, growling, and found the nearest tree. I attempted to slam my head into it, but wound up staring at a family of possums dwelling in its rotted out center.
I took a deep, phantom breath and calmed myself. With any luck, Greatshadow would swallow him.
Tower flew off as Infidel continued dressing. She paused as she found the boot sheath empty. She started pacing as she chewed on her fingernails. She reached the finger that Lord Tower had sucked on and regarded it with an expression half curiosity, half disgust. You can guess which half of the expression I appreciated.
At last she muttered, “Did it fall out in the tree?” She started back toward the village. She hadn’t gone but a few dozen feet before she froze, turning her head toward a rustling sound from a nearby thicket. I poked my head through the screen of leaves and found myself face to face with Aurora squatting on the ground with her pants around her ankles. I quickly jerked my head back. Infidel took note of the wisps of fog drifting across the ground. Aurora had trouble with stealth in humid climates.
“Aurora?” Infidel whispered.
There was a rapid rustle from the other side of the bushes. “Infidel?”
They each poked their heads around the leafy wall and grinned.
“I’m glad to see you,” said Aurora. “I need to gripe to someone. This whole mission is turning into a big, stinking pile of yellow snow.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” said Infidel.
“I’m not even sure what I’m doing here,” said Aurora. “I thought I’d feel the Jagged Heart’s presence. I don’t. Tower plainly isn’t carting it around with him, and it wasn’t in the gear. If he doesn’t have it, I’m wasting my time.”
“The Black Swan wanted you on the mission,” said Infidel. “She must have seen something in the future that made her think you needed to be here.”
“She’s not always right. The whole point of her going back in time is to change the future. Sometimes, little things she does wipe out whole events she was counting on. She went back quite a ways to order a new barge built. What if some guy she hired to build it would have otherwise joined the raiders that stole the Jagged Heart? Maybe it never wound up in Tower’s possession.”
“I’ll ask Tower about it when I see him again,” said Infidel.
“Ah ah ah!” Aurora wagged her finger. “You’re a machine around him. You cart gear, not pump knights for information.”
“Funny you should mention pumping,” said Infidel.
“How so?”
“Because Tower just caught me bathing at the stream and confessed that he knows who I am. He says he wants to take me back, clear my name, and go ahead with the marriage. I’m suddenly really glad the Black Swan didn’t tell me who the father of my daughter would be.”
Aurora’s jaw opened slowly, until her tusks were almost pointing straight out. She snapped out of her shock and said, “I, uh, thought you couldn’t… I mean, there’s still some, um, issues. Of crushing. Accidentally. Certain important parts.”
“We only have to do it once,” said Infidel.
I jammed my fingers into my ears to keep from hearing more. It didn’t work.
“And if he’s not any good, maybe I won’t have any, you know, involuntary muscle spasms.”
I screamed, “La-la-la-la-la!”
She continued, “I mean, it’s not like I’d actually feel anything for him. It wouldn’t be like it would have been with Stagger.”
I stopped la-la-ing and lowered my fingers.
Infidel swallowed hard. “If Stagger were still around, I would have head-butted him when he kissed me.”
“Stagger?” Aurora looked confused. “Why would you head-butt him?”
“No! Tower!”
Aurora’s brow knotted with bewilderment.
Infidel looked up toward the tree village, then said in a hushed voice, “Tower kissed me.”
“You’re joking.”
Infidel raised her hand and resumed biting her nails.
“You’re not joking.”
Infidel shook her head.
Aurora crossed her arms, tapping her beefy fingers on her biceps.
“So,” she asked, casually. “Was he any good?”
Infidel rolled her eyes. “It… it was… I really have nothing to judge by. I’ve never been kissed before.”
“You’ve never kissed? For a battle hardened mercenary who wears necklaces of human teeth, you’ve lived kind of a sheltered life.”
Infidel threw up her hands. “What’s the point of me kissing anyone? I mean, what’s it going to lead to? Look, I’ve made it this far without any kind of intimacy. I’ve been perfectly content without it. I mean it. Who needs it?”
Aurora smirked. “In my experience, when people say, ‘I mean it,’ they don’t mean it.”
Infidel folded her arms across her chest. “Fine. Maybe, just maybe… maybe I’m curious. Maybe this is one of those choices made by fifteen-year-old Innocent that I’m not so sure about any more. I mean… this is going to sound stupid… but… I… well, there was this thing he did, when he, um, sucked, uh, my finger and…”
Aurora’s eyebrows shot up.
“And… I dunno. I could feel his tongue. It was, like, soft. Warm. I thought it would be slimy, but it felt clean. It was… I don’t know. It wasn’t nice. I mean, I didn’t want it to happen. But… it wasn’t unpleasant, either. I felt… this is stupid.”
“What?”
“There was like… like a spark. Like, a voice in my head going, ‘He’s sucking your finger! What a pervert!’ and… I… I guess I’m just… curious. About perversions.”
Aurora laughed.
“It’s not funny,” said Infidel.
Aurora shook her head, and wiped a tear from her cheek. “No,” she said, gasping for air. “I know. It’s not. I haven’t seen another female of my species for twenty years. I’m not going to judge anyone for feeling sexually frustrated. The dreams I’ve had…”
“You mean male,” said Infidel.
“Hmm?”
“You said you hadn’t seen another female. But it wouldn’t do you any good if you had.”
“Ah,” said Aurora. She pressed her lips together. “This is awkward. You see, uh, the priesthood, it’s all female, and, um, sexual release is a big part of fertility ceremonies, so, we spend a lot of time engaged in-”
“I don’t think I need to hear more,” said Infidel, holding up her hands.
I sort of hoped Aurora would at least finish her sentence. I was to be disappointed. She changed the subject back to the issue at hand.
“So, you’ve got a sex-crazed ex-boyfriend in charge of the dragon hunt. What about the Truthspeaker?”
“He hasn’t seen through the disguise. Relic said he’s distracting the priest. Don’t ask me to explain, I still haven’t figured out all of that weirdo’s powers. But, anyway, if the priest finds me out, apparently he has orders to capture me instead of killing me outright.”
“That’s good, I guess.”
“Not really. If the Truthspeaker gives me grief, I’ll probably just twist his head off. I’m not sure that Tower’s going to be quite as forgiving after that. And, if I twist Tower’s head off, I’m suddenly short on candidates to father my daughter.”
“Do you want a child?” asked Aurora.
“Until the Black Swan mentioned it, I hadn’t wasted any time thinking about motherhood,” said Infidel. “Now… I mean, if it’s, you know, fate… then maybe I wouldn’t be terrible at it.”
Aurora looked skeptical.
“I know,” said Infidel, shaking her head. “I mean, it’s hard to imagine making the jump from bounty-hunter and tomb-looter to breast-feeder and diaper-changer. The person I’ve been would be a lousy mother. But, the whole purpose of this dragon hunt, for me, is to make a new life. And there are… there are nurturing instincts I have that I’ve never really explored. I just… maybe I should keep an open mind.”
Aurora nodded, but didn’t ask any follow-up questions. Instead she said, “Speaking of the dragon hunt, it’s worth noting that of twelve would-be dragon slayers, the three we’ve lost have all been put out of action by other team members.”
“Technically, Blade was killed by a pygmy deadfall.”
“Blade was killed by the damn Truthspeaker,” grumbled Aurora.
Infidel nodded. “What’s your point?”
“My point is that our dragon hunt is going to be over before it even begins if we kill each other before Greatshadow gets a shot.”
“We won’t all kill each other,” said Infidel. “I’ve got your back. You’ve got mine. And I think we can count on the Goons to side with us.”
“Don’t fool yourself,” said Aurora. “Menagerie’s willing to mess around with stuff that’s not spelled out in his contract, like keeping your secret, but if it comes down to a fight between us and the Truthspeaker, he’s being paid to protect the priest.”
Infidel nodded. “At least you and I are a team,” she said.
“Sure,” said Aurora. “As long as you don’t try to protect the future father of your child if he does have the sacred harpoon.”
Infidel nodded, but she was no longer looking directly at the ogress. Her gaze was once more unfocused; I could practically hear her thoughts churning. As Aurora turned away, Infidel stared off into the distance.