They've been replaying it all morning on CNN. Too bad." Too bad?
He'd been there, watching, and hadn't helped. Or didn't he want to admit that?
"Had some nasty facial lacerations. Chances are he'll be calling you to fix him up." '"He can save his dime, " Duncan said. "You ought to know by now I don't operate on people who need surgery, only those who want it. By the way, sorry about my outburst yesterday morning. You didn't deserve that." Just like that, Oh, by the way, sorry I damn near gave you a heart attack.
But relief blotted out his offhandedness. The bunched muscles in her shoulders and the back of her neck began to uncoil.
'"You mean I'm not fired? " He laughed. "Hell, no! But I do want to talk to you." His smile faded.
"I want to know why a bright, talented young woman like you wants to get involved with the Harold Vincents and Kenneth Allards of the world.
" Oh, God, she thought as she took a deep breath. Here we go.
'"Somebody's got to, Duncan. They're calling all the shots. But when they want to know what's going on with doctors and medical care, look who they ask, insurance companies, A.M.A officers, public service doctors, VA doctors, whoever's handy." Duncan grimaced with distaste.
"Or even worse, Samuel Fox." Gin nodded. She remembered sitting around with her fellow residents and laughing at Fox's asinine statements during a Donahue appearance a couple of years ago. But he had a knack for PR and had parlayed his alarmist books and press releases into a position of credibility with Congress.
"Exactly. Congress gets its input from doctors who aren't physicians.
" "Stands to reason, ' Duncan said. "Real doctors are out in the trenches practicing medicine. They've got too many sick people on their hands to hang around Capitol Hill."
"Too true. But that's got to change." Duncan's jaw jutted at her.
"Why? " "Because the government's got its sights on health care. The big reform package didn't fly, but that doesn't mean the government's going to go away.
It's going to keep inching in, the old salami-slicing method.
Nothing's going to stop it." Duncan sighed. "Yeah, I know. Don't get me wrong. I'm not opposed to everyone having some sort of coverage. I hate the thought of anyone, especially a child, going untreated. But I loathe the idea of the kakistocracy designing and administering the program, imposing guidelines for medical decisions that should be a matter solely between doctor and patient." His voice took on a TV announcer's tone, " And now, from the people who brought you the House Post Office scandal and the debatable, Health care!
" He shook his head. "I don't think so."
"Doesn't it make sense to standardize medical care and costs across the country? " His gaze was hard as steel. "Don't you think we've got enough guidelines already?
" She thought of old Mrs. Thompson at Lynnbrook Hospital. "Well .
.
. " "What this bill will do is enforce cookbook medicine. The real thrust of all this legislation isn't quality assurance, it's cost control.
They'll save a few bucks but the human costs will be huge."
"It doesn't have to be that way. We, " Duncan glanced at the carafe and held up a hand. "Coffee's ready." He lifted the cone from the carafe and placed it in the small chrome sink next to the microwave. Then he filled two thick white diner-style mugs with the fresh, steaming coffee. He handed one to Gin.
"Now this is coffee. Taste." Gin sniffed, the aroma was fabulous, then sipped. Usually she drank her coffee black with a little sugar. This didn't need sugar. The tSavor was so deep, so rich . .
.
"It's . . . " She struggled for words. "It's like I've never had real coffee before. This is amazing." Duncan beamed. "It's worth the trouble, isn't it? An anodyne for weltschmerz. I'll grind you up some beans to take home. But use them soon. And if you use a regular drip machine, never, never, leave the pot on a heater. Always decant the coffee immediately into a carafe. Even the best coffee gets bitter when it's overheated."
"Thanks. I'll remember that." Gin had had no idea Duncan was such a coffee connoisseur. The rituals, the rules .
. . it was like a religion. But the result was awfully good.
They sipped in silence for a moment. Gin wandered along the glass wall and admired the koi pool, the rock garden, and the dwarf shrubs that lined it. She continued on, passing his desk. The top right drawer was open. Inside was a glass injection vial filled with a clear amber fluid.
Something else too. Something metallic, almost like a large trocar .
.
Suddenly Duncan was beside her, sliding the drawer closed.
"You were saying? " "Where was I? Well, the point I was trying to make is that if I can get on a committee member's staff, I can see to it that he gets some straight dope on how these guidelines will affect patient care. And if I can influence him even a little, won't it be worth it? " Duncan stared at her, slowly shaking his head. "For some time now I've been worrying that you had no direction. I was afraid you were just going to drift, make a career of moonlighting and locum tenens work. Now I almost wish that were the case." Had he actually been thinking about her? "Maybe I'll simply devote myself to lexiphania." Duncan appeared taken aback. Had she stumped him?
Lexiphania, the tendency to use obscure and unusual words. The irony would be rich. How wonderful to catch him with a word that described himself.
Duncan laughed. "Where'd you find that one? " "Wasn't easy, believe me. ' '"All right. I plead guilty to compulsive grandiloquism, to singlehandedly trying to correct for the entire language's drift into banality." Damn. He did know it.
She said, "I don't think it's working."
"More's the pity." He gazed at her, smiling. "Lexiphania . . . that s wonderful. How can I stay angry at you? But seriously, Gin, you've been trained for a higher sort of work than being legislative aide to some pretentious pinhead pol. I hate to see you wasting your talents."
For a moment she was struck by how much he sounded like Peter. He'd said almost exactly the same thing when she'd told him she was leaving Louisiana to get involved in medical politics.
Focusing on Duncan, Gin bit her tongue and thought, I could say the same about your facelifts.
As if reading her mind he smiled crookedly and said, "Not that I'm one to talk about wasting training." For an instant there was real pain in his eyes. Her heart went out to him.
"Duncan . . . whatever, " He held up the coffee carafe. "Refill? " '"No, thanks. Can I ask, ? " "I don't envy you, Gin." Obviously he didn't want to talk about Duncan Lathram. "I wouldn't want to be starting out in medicine today and facing the terrain that's ahead of you.
"All the more reason to get involved." Why couldn't he see that?
'"But what do you hope to accomplish? What is your goal down there on Capitol Hill? " "Fair guidelines. Realistie guidelines we can all live with."
"Never happen, " Duncan said. He sighed. "I hope you know what you're doing, Gin."
"I've given it a lot of thought."
"Have you? They're a pretty corrupt bunch, Gin, and, " "And I'm so impressionable? " "No. It's not that. It's just that, well, as doctors, we're a different breed.
Our values are different. We don't speak the same language. We don't walk in the same shoes as other people."
"That sounds just a little elitist to me." He shrugged.
"Maybe. But sometimes I think the weight of the life-and-death decisions doctors have to make sets them apart from the rest of humanity. When you've felt someone's life draining through your hands, and you've reeled him back in and sent him home to his family, it does something to you. You've seen things that regular folk will never see, done things they'll never do, glimpsed them at their most vulnerable, when they're stripped of all their pretenses. You've been master of life and death, and that can't help but change you. It leaves you one step removed from everybody else. ' Gin had run up against this gods-who-walk attitude all through her residency.
"It's time we ditched the god thing, don't you think? We're not gods, and it's damaging to us and our patients to foster that kind of reverence. We can do extraordinary things, seemingly miraculous things.