How to Wear Your Coats
Here′s the trick to putting on mascara: Coat the top of your lashes with mascara first, with a downward stroke. Then coat the bottom of your lashes with an upward stroke.
– From The Little Book of Beauty Secrets by Mimi Morgan
″You′re such a sucker for men′s eyes, Kate,″ Evelyn said. ″But really, you should have checked out his ass, too. Dr. Medina′s butt is the absolute most awesome thing about him.″
″If he hadn′t been wearing a long white coat, believe me, I would have.″
Actually I didn′t care all that much about men′s butts. I′ve never understood why women talk about them so much. To me, sexual attraction is all about a look in the eyes. Give me the right look in the eyes, and I′ll follow you to the ends of the Milky Way.
Evelyn and I were having a late dinner at Christina′s, a hole-in-the wall restaurant near my house in Trinity Heights. I loved the restaurant′s aroma of hot garlic bread and fresh-made pasta. I even adored its unabashedly tacky décor, including the arbor of plastic grapes that hung in bunches from the ceiling.
″Okay, so here are some vital statistics about Dr. Medina that you should know,″ Evelyn said, spearing a frilly-edged leaf of escarole with her fork. ″He′s single, he′s straight, and all the women in the Newbodies are totally gaga over him. But the word around the group is that he never dates patients. Believe me, I′ve tried. He just humors me.″
″Technically speaking, Evelyn, I′m not Medina′s patient. I′m a reporter doing a feature about him. That puts me on a slightly different footing.″
″My, aren′t you the little player?″ Evelyn said with a roguish grin.
″No, not at all. This is a totally new feeling for me. I got the sense that Dr. Medina thinks I′m actually beautiful in a… in an ideal way. He actually compared me to the Venus of Urbino.″
″To the what?″
″Titian′s portrait of Venus. It′s called the Venus of Urbino. He said I look like the painting. Did he ever say stuff like that to you?″
″You mean like Venus and Mars? Just kidding, ″ Evelyn said. ″No, he never said I look like a painting,″ Evelyn said. ″The only thing he said before he did my boob job was that my left breast is a little bigger than the right one. He fixed that, though.″
″I′ve never had a guy tell me that I look like an ideal beauty before. And he′s an objective expert on the subject of looks, right? So he should know.″
″Right. But sex isn′t about being objective.″
″I′m not talking about sex. I′m talking about surfaces-pure, unadulterated looks. Why did Medina, a plastic surgeon, compare me to a goddess of beauty? I have to believe he means it.″
Evelyn waggled her fork at me. ″Kate, you simply have to stop being surprised when men tell you you′re gorgeous,″ she said. ″I′ve been telling you that for years. So have lots of people. You just never believe us. The whole thing′s getting to be a little disingenuous. Frankly, I′m annoyed by it.″
″Sorry, but can you blame me?″ I said. ″Jona than left my ego completely shredded. I′m a burned-out shell-I′m a walking straw woman, and he tossed a match on top of me. When I was in Medina′s office and he said what he did to me… I don′t know. It felt like he was rubbing a soothing balm into my soul. It was like he actually thought I was hot. Do you know what I mean?″
″I do know,″ Evelyn said. ″We all need to feel sexy to our guys. It′s a prerequisite. If it weren′t for that, we′d probably be happier being with a gay guy. They usually make better friends.″
″I used to tell myself that it was okay that my relationship with Jonathan was so reserved, because I knew underneath that he loved me. And anyway, I was the one who wouldn′t let him in the shower when he asked to come in. I have to take responsibility for that.″
I felt my chest heave up and down. A sob was trying to punch its way through my wall of self-control.
Evelyn reached for my hand. ″Oh, sweetie,″ she said. ″You′ve been through such a hard time. On the plus side, your depression must be lifting if you′re obsessing about Dr. Medina. Just keep in mind that you′re a woman on the rebound. I don′t want you to set yourself up for more hurt.″
″I′m not going after Medina,″ I said. ″The whole idea is ridiculous. Besides, it would be completely cliché to fall for one′s doctor right after a major breakup.″
I hadn′t fallen for Medina -not yet, anyway. For one thing, it was much too soon in the wake of the total demo-ing of my heart and soul by Jonathan and Gi.
But something about my encounter with the plastic surgeon the previous day had left an impression on my spirit-not to mention on my libido. Medina was definitely a hottie.
Evelyn giggled. ″So what was your final verdict on the thermal-laser wand?″ she asked. ″Did it melt anything? You waist looks a little thinner, I think. Let me see.″
I glanced around us. The only diners nearby were an older couple. They appeared to be completely absorbed by a plate of artisanal-looking bread and cheese.
″The jury′s still out on the thermal-laser wand,″ I said. ″Right now my stomach′s still kind of swollen.″
I lifted my blouse to demo my raw, still-healing midriff. It looked like I′d been hugged by a giant boa constrictor.
″Wow.″ Evelyn peered at my skin. ″He did that with a wand? That′s more bruising than I got with my implants.″
″Aw, jeez. Really?″
The wand had actually been surprisingly painful. Even with the softening effect of a local anesthetic, it had felt like getting zapped by a cattle prod. The first time I′d felt the touch of the wand, I jumped and let out a yelp. Frank had gotten that on tape, of course. It was certain to be the highlight of the marketing promo.
Talk about reporter involvement. If a shot of me squealing like a stuck pig and flopping around on top of a skin doctor′s table didn′t satisfy Beatty, nothing ever would.