I don’t know who to listen to anymore. I’m so messed up right now I’d probably walk into traffic if you thought it was a good idea — sure would make things simple in a hurry. God, this nightmare just won’t end. Be careful what you wish for. All I wanted was a father who cared about me. Oh, he cares, all right. He cares so much it just might kill me, if he doesn’t kill everyone I love first.
Last night John called again. Lord knows what he wanted this time, and I’ll never know because I turned my cell off. He tried the cordless a couple times too, but I ignored it. Billy didn’t call to tell me John’s location, probably hoping the curiosity would get to me, but I didn’t want to know. I couldn’t wait to change our numbers — the only thing that stopped me was Evan saying hold off. But it pissed me off no end when I realized I’d left the station without the cops confirming they’d remove the tap from my cell, and they probably still had the landline tapped. When Evan called later he still had a lot to do before he left in the morning, so we just said our good nights and agreed to leave the big decisions until he was home. I could ignore John for another day.
This morning, which feels like a million years ago, I dropped Ally off at school — it’s her last day before summer vacation — then rushed around like mad cleaning the house. I was surprised Evan didn’t call when he left the lodge but figured he just got busy. It’s not easy for him to leave at the last minute. His phone kept going to voice mail, so I was sure he was already on the road — the cell coverage sucks up there. Around ten I stopped vacuuming to throw another load of laundry in and heard tires on gravel, then Moose streaked to the door barking. Evan was home!
I raced to the front door — and saw Billy and Sandy get out of the Tahoe. My guts clenched at the sight of their grave faces and dark sunglasses.
Billy said, “Can we come in?”
“Evan’s due home any second, but sure.”
This time I brought them into the living room. Bad news deserves formality. After they were settled on the opposite couch I took the plunge.
“Another girl’s missing, right?”
“Sara…” Billy removed his sunglasses. “Evan was shot at the lodge this morning and—”
“What!” I stared at them for a moment as my heart hammered in my chest. Then I jumped up. “Is he okay?” My eyes flicked back and forth between them, desperately trying to read their faces.
“He’s going to be all right,” Billy said. “He’s been flown to the hospital in Port Alberni.”
“What happened?”
“He went down to the dock early this morning. That’s when he got shot. He managed to drag himself into one of the boats and used the first-aid kit to stop the bleeding until one of the guides found him.”
“Okay. I just. I have to—” I whirled around and grabbed my purse off the hall bench, searched for my keys, my cell phone. How was I going to get Ally from school? Could Lauren pick her up? Should I get her on the way?
Sandy said, “We’ll take you to the hospital.”
Moose. I had to ask a neighbor to let him out. What else? A client was coming by to pick up a headboard. I flipped open my cell, but Sandy grabbed my wrist.
“Hold on.”
I yanked free. “I have to call someone about Ally.”
“We understand, but we need to go over a few things with you first.”
“It had to be John.”
Billy said, “That’s why we—”
“I have to tell my family.” How was I going to explain this to them?
Sandy said, “We have some ideas around what you should say.”
I turned to Billy. “He didn’t … kill him. It was just a warning, right?”
“We don’t think so. One of the cooks went out for a cigarette around the time Evan was shot and heard something in the bushes. We think he spooked John before he could finish the job.”
John wanted to kill Evan. Because of me. My eyes filled with tears.
“I have to get Ally from school right now.”
Sandy said, “A couple of members are at the hospital with Evan and we have a patrol car watching the school. You can go up with Billy to see Evan and we’ll send an officer to pick Ally up. Just call the school and explain they’re a family friend. We don’t want to scare everyone into thinking there’s a killer on the loose.” Except there was a killer on the loose. One who was really pissed off at me and really good at making his point.
“Ally knows she’s not supposed to leave with a stranger. I could call one of my sisters, but then I’ll have to tell them what’s going on, and—”
“Let’s not do that right now,” Sandy said. “Ally knows me. I’ll pick her up and watch her while you visit Evan.”
I shook my head. “I told John I couldn’t meet him because Evan was coming home. He must’ve decided he should just—” My voice caught.
Billy’s face was pained. “You didn’t know he’d do this, Sara.”
I looked at Sandy. “But you did. You warned me.” Had I let my personal feelings for her get in the way of the truth?
Sandy said, “You can’t dwell on what’s done, Sara. You just have to be strong for Evan. We’ll take care of the rest.” For once she had said something I liked.
On the way up to the hospital with Billy, I called my parents from my cell. As soon as I heard Mom’s gentle voice the dam broke and I started crying. I managed to pull it together long enough to tell her the cover story — the police believed Evan had been shot by a disgruntled employee. I didn’t know how long that one would fly, since Evan had never pissed off anyone in his life. The thought made me cry harder.
Before I could stop her, Mom put Dad on the phone.
“What’s going on?”
“Dad, Evan’s in the hospital. He was shot at the lodge. He’s okay, but they flew him to Port Alberni and—” I burst into fresh tears.
Dad said, “Your mother and I will meet you there.”
It was probably the last thing the police wanted. But it was what I wanted the most.
“Thanks, Dad. Can you call his parents for me?” They live down in the States and although Evan and his family are close, he doesn’t get to see them often. Mom and Dad fill a lot of the role for him.
“We’ll let them know,” Dad said. “Where’s Ally?”
“A friend’s watching her.” First and last time I’d call Sandy that.
“How are you getting up there?”
“Billy, the police officer who’s my client, volunteered to drive me.”
Dad paused for a moment, then said, “We’ll leave right now.”
He hung up before I could say anything else. Billy told me he’d deal with it — he has no idea what dealing with my dad is like. But at that moment I didn’t care. The only person who mattered was Evan. I wished I’d told him that yesterday.
The drive to Port Alberni is never an easy one — over an hour of a narrow highway winding through steep mountains where you’re competing for space with logging trucks. But today it was unbearable. Thank God Billy was behind the wheel — if I was driving the speed my heart was going, I’d have had an accident. I have no recollection of anything we talked about, just vague snippets of reassurance from Billy: We’re going to catch him. Evan’s going to be fine.
At the hospital the doctor told me Evan had been shot clean through the fleshy part of his left shoulder. They were waiting for him to stabilize before they sent him to Nanaimo in an ambulance for surgery. He had muscle damage and a huge wound, but no permanent damage. I was just happy he was alive — especially when the doctor told me eight inches to the left and it would’ve gone straight through his heart. Hearing that just about made my own heart stop.
They’d given him some drugs for the pain and he was out cold, but they let me in to see him. His shoulder was wrapped in a huge white bandage and he had an IV stabbed into his arm. Tears ran down my face as I kissed his cheek and smoothed his hair. I hated how pale he was, hated all the tubes running out of him. But I hated myself even more for putting him in danger.
As I fussed over Evan, nurses monitored his signs and wrote things on his chart. One asked if I needed anything. Yeah, a serial killer put behind bars. Can you do that? Then an older nurse asked me to step out for a moment while they changed his bandage. I was about to argue when I heard Dad’s loud voice asking for Evan’s room.
When I went to meet my parents I noticed Billy talking to two policemen in a small waiting area. He straightened up when he saw my father and started toward him, but Dad walked right past him and came up to me.
“How’s Evan doing?”
“He’s asleep right now. He’s going to be okay, but he has to have surgery. They’ll wait until he’s stable, then take him to Nanaimo and—” I stopped as I saw my sister hurrying down the hallway.
Mom said, “Lauren came up with us. She was just calling Greg.”
Lauren and I fell into each other’s arms. “I can’t believe Evan was shot. You must be terrified.” Her body vibrated against me, sending a fresh wave of fear through my own. Yes, this is bad. This is really, really bad.
We pulled apart and I said, “Thanks for coming up.” My voice was thick.
“Of course. Why didn’t you call me?”
“I was going to, but everything just…”
Billy walked over. “Hi, everyone. I’m Bill.” He turned to Dad and stretched out his hand. “We met at Sara’s.”
Dad gave his hand a hard shake. “This your case?”
“I’ll certainly check on things for Sara, but no, the local officers are handling the investigation.”
Dad looked up and down the hallway. “There’s a lot of police around.” He stared hard at me. “What’s going on, Sara?”
My face felt hot. “Ah … what do you mean? Evan’s been shot, and…”
Then I saw it click in Dad’s head.
“This has something to do with the Campsite Killer, doesn’t it?”
Mom gasped. Lauren’s hand flew to her mouth.
Dad turned to me. “Tell me what’s going on right now, Sara.”
I looked at Billy helplessly. He saved me again.
“Let’s find somewhere private to talk.”
Billy led us into an empty room and filled them in while Mom grew paler and paler. Lauren shivered during the entire conversation. After Billy finished, Dad looked at me and shook his head.
“This whole time you’ve been lying to us.”
“Dad, I—”
Billy said, “Sara didn’t want to keep it from you. She was under strict orders not to talk about this with anyone. It could have damaged the case and put her family — all of you — in danger. She’s been a great help to us.”
Dad said, “You didn’t explain how Evan wound up shot.”
“John, the Campsite Killer, he wanted to meet with me again, Dad. And I said I couldn’t, because Evan was coming home.”
“Where’s this scumbag now?” Dad’s face turned dark. “Where’s Ally?”
“She’s with another officer,” Billy said. “She’s well protected.”
“What are you doing to catch this man?”
“Everything in our power, sir. Your daughter was a big part of our investigation, but we’ll continue in a different direction now.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I won’t help anymore,” I said. “Evan didn’t want me to meet with him in the first place, but I was worried he’d kill another woman, but now that Evan’s been shot, I’m not—”
“Evan didn’t want you to meet him, but you did it anyway?”
We stared at each other. Mom said, “She thought she was doing the right thing, Patrick.”
Dad walked over to the window and looked down at the parking lot. His arms were crossed in front of him, his broad back a wall I’ve never been able to cross.
The four of us stood in awkward silence, all staring at Dad.
“I better go talk to the other officers,” Billy said. “If you have any more questions I’ll be in the hall.” No one said anything as he left.
After a moment Dad said, “Evan was right — you should’ve just stayed out of it.”
“Dad, I was trying to help.”
He turned around and looked hard at me. “Let the police handle it from now on, Sara.” As he headed out of the room he said, “I’m going to find the doctor.”
Mom gave me a consoling smile and touched my hand. “He’s just upset.”
“I know, Mom, but don’t you think I am too? He has no idea how much pressure I’ve been under. The cops, Julia — they were all pushing me to do this. It’s not like I came up with the idea on my own.”
“Julia?”
“My mother.” Mom recoiled like she’d been hit. Crap, crap. Crap. “I mean my birth mother. She wanted me to meet him and—”
“You’ve seen her again?”
“I went to her house a couple of times, but I couldn’t mention it to you because we were talking about the case. She’s been terrified for years — it was really important to her that he be caught. And I wanted to help because…”
“Because she’s your mother.”
“That’s not it at all, Mom — I just felt bad for her.”
“Of course you did, sweetie. You’re a caring person.”
“Yeah, well, that bit me in the butt.”
“Anyone else would’ve just walked away, Sara. You give yourself to everything you do, and everyone you love.” She smiled, but the look in her eyes broke my heart. She said, “I’d better make sure your father’s being polite to the nurses,” and hurried after Dad.
I turned to Lauren. “Great, now Mom’s upset.”
“Don’t worry about that right now. Just focus on Evan.”
I sighed. “You mean the other person I hurt?”
“It’s not your fault, Sara.”
“No, Dad’s right. I screwed up. I told John that Evan was the reason I couldn’t meet him. I should’ve known how much that would piss him off.”
“You didn’t know he was going to hurt him.”
“Evan wanted me to stop this a long time ago. I should’ve listened.”
“I can’t believe you’ve been going through this all on your own.”
She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. I leaned into her shoulder and started to cry.
We waited outside Evan’s room for a couple of hours. Billy stayed near the other cops, where they talked in low voices, and Dad sat in a chair with his arms across his chest, when he wasn’t pacing up and down the hallway. Mom flipped through a magazine but kept looking at Dad, Lauren, and me. Lauren went to the cafeteria and got us all something to eat, but I could only sip a coffee. So she sat beside me, talking about the boys or the house or her garden. The chatter was comforting, but I was barely able to focus on what she was saying as I watched doctors and nurses, worrying every time anyone stopped outside Evan’s room.
Dad looked at his cell, then got up and walked down the hall. After a few moments he came back.
“I’ve got to get down to Nanaimo — a chain broke on the skidder.”
Mom stood up. “Are you going to be okay if we leave you, Sara?”
“I’m fine, Mom. It will probably just be a lot of sitting around.”
Lauren said, “I can stay.”
“No, you’ve got the boys. I’ll be okay.”
Mom said, “We can come up later.”
“Thanks, Mom. But they’ll probably be sending Evan to Nanaimo tomorrow. You might as well just wait and visit him there.”
“Make sure to let us know if anything changes or if you need anything, sweetie.”
“Of course.”
I spent another hour waiting with Billy, but now I was the one pacing up and down the hall. A nurse came by and told me Evan had woken up briefly and they’d given him more pain medication. He’d probably be sleeping for the rest of the day, if I wanted to go home and get some of his things.
Billy was on his phone when I went to find him.
I said, “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, just touching base with Sandy.”
“Is Ally okay?”
“They’re having a great time.”
I breathed a small sigh of relief.
We were only ten minutes out of town when my cell rang.
I looked at Billy. “It’s John! What do I do?”
“If you don’t think you can remain calm, you shouldn’t—”
“But if he’s still close by, you might be able to get his location and catch him, right?”
“It’s the best chance we have, but you need to think about what you say before you—”
I answered on the next ring.
“What do you want?”
“Sara! I’m on the island, what time can we meet?”
“You actually think I’m going to meet you after you shot Evan?”
Silence.
“You screwed up big time, John. Don’t ever call me again. This is over.” I hung up the phone, my whole body shaking.
Billy clasped my shoulder. “You okay?”
I nodded as adrenaline pumped through my body. I realized my teeth were chattering.
“Yeah. God, no, I’m not. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk to him for longer — I lost my temper. But I think — I think I’m having an anxiety attack. My chest … it’s all tight, and…” I sucked at the air.
“Just take some slow deep breaths, Sara. You need—” His phone rang. “Reynolds here.… Okay, I’ll let her know.”
“What’s going on?”
“John’s cell pinged off a Nanaimo tower, so he’s in town.”
He gunned the Tahoe. Now my body was shaking even harder.
“God, he must be totally freaking out that I hung up on him.”
“He’s not going to be happy about it.” Billy’s hands gripped the steering wheel so hard the muscles in his forearms were corded.
“You think he still wants to meet me? But I told him it was over, and—”
“This is a man who doesn’t like to be told no.”
My chest tightened again and my face felt hot.
“Do you think I should meet with him? If I don’t, will he go after Evan again?”
“Emotions are high on both sides right now, so it might not be the best time to meet. But if he’s acting impulsively, he’s more likely to make mistakes, and—”
“I think I’m having another anxiety attack.” I pressed my hand against my rocketing heart.
Billy looked worried. “Maybe we should go back to the hospital and—”
“No.” I sucked in a lungful of air. “No, I have to talk to my psychiatrist.”
“Right now?”
I nodded rapidly. “I have to or I’m going to lose it, Billy. I need to calm down, but I can’t unless I talk to her and—”
“Call her.”
I didn’t expect that you’d want me to come in right away. I thought we could just do this over the phone, but I guess I did sound one panic attack away from all-out hysteria. I want to be with Evan, but every other part of my body’s screaming at me to get home as fast as I can to be with Ally. Of course, you’re right, I need to calm down first. Part of protecting her is making sure she doesn’t see her mother go off the deep end.
Poor Billy — he’s waiting out in the Tahoe. I told him he could go grab a coffee, but he said he was staying to make sure I was all right. Only way I could come here was if I called home first and talked to Sandy, then Ally, who’s having a great time. When she put Sandy back on the phone she said she’d guard Ally with her life. I believed her. I may not like Sandy, but I’m pretty sure if she saw John she’d shoot him on the spot.
As for me, I’m spinning in every direction, bouncing all over the place. I just wish I knew what kind of shape John’s in right now, if he’s in a full-on manic state too. But he has to be — why else would he shoot Evan? He must be escalating — and I went and hung up on him. I know what I’m like when I’m losing it, how out-of-control I feel — like right now—but I don’t have a gun. Lord knows what I’d do if I did. Actually, that’s not true. I know exactly what I’d do.