I am trying to calm down. But I don’t know where to start. I’m just sick with worry. Not to mention tired and hungry, I have so much going on right now I shouldn’t even be here, but I didn’t want to cancel again. I know I’m talking too fast, my blood sugar’s crashing, which is why I’m forcing myself to eat this disgusting granola bar I found in my glove box. Fine, I’ll slow down and start at the beginning.
After our last session I tried that technique you gave me for staying in the present. I sat on our couch and closed my eyes, using all my senses to focus on the smooth fabric under my hands, the dryer thumping in the background, the cool hardwood under my bare feet, but my mind always went back to John. He hadn’t called for three days and I was working really hard on reminding myself I have zero control over what he does. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how he hung up so abruptly. Wondering if it was because I’d mentioned Evan, wondering if he sensed I lied when I told him we didn’t have a wedding date yet, wondering what he might do.
Thank God Evan came home for the weekend. No matter how bad I’m freaking out, he can usually bring me back to some semblance of calm, or at least to the point where I’m not hyperventilating. Before we went to Lauren’s for Brandon’s birthday we had a talk about how to handle it if John called, and I was feeling better about the whole deal. I was even kind of looking forward to the party. I’ve always had a soft spot for Brandon and couldn’t believe he was already turning ten. I’d practiced changing diapers on him. Not that my trial-and-errors with him helped when it came to dealing with a strong-willed little girl.
Just trying to take Ally shopping for a present was insane. First she had to walk up and down every aisle. Then we finally settled on a Nintendo game, but she wouldn’t stop looking at the ones still on the shelf. “Maybe he’d like hockey better, Mommy.” I said Brandon would be happy with any of them, but she started picking up one after another again. When I finally snapped and grabbed the one she’d already picked, she screamed, “It’s the wrong one, Mommy!” like her life depended on it. Then she stood in the middle of the aisle, her arms crossed in front of her, and refused to budge no matter what I said. At the end of my rope, I said, “Fine, you can just stay here all day,” and started walking away. After a moment she followed along behind, her little shoulders slumped and her lips tight as she struggled not to cry.
A few miles down the road she was still staring out the passenger window. Now that I was calmer, I felt bad for rushing her and said, “Brandon’s going to be so excited when he sees your present.” She still wouldn’t look at me, so I started singing along to the radio, making up my own words. “Sugar pie, Ally Cat, you know I love you. I can’t help myself, I love you and nobody else, except for Evan, and Moose, and Nana, and Auntie Lauren, and—” I sucked in a big breath of air. The corner of Ally’s lips twitched as she tried not to laugh. I started singing louder. By the time we picked up Evan, she was also singing — in between giggles, which got me laughing too. Then she tilted her head to one side, smiled at me, and said, “You’re so pretty, Mommy.” God, I love that kid.
We were still having fun when we pulled into Lauren and Greg’s driveway. This year the party was a Transformers theme, so I knew the whole house would be decorated top to bottom, and they had all kinds of games for the kids. I probably would’ve had a great time if both my fathers hadn’t ruined it for me.
Dad was getting a case of beer from his truck when we got out of the Cherokee. As Ally ran ahead with Moose to find the boys, I followed my father and Evan to the backyard while they talked fishing. Greg hovered over a gas grill, apron tied around his neck. He grinned at the sight of us. A big teddy bear of a man, he pulled me, then Evan, in for a rough hug. After he released us he opened a cooler near his feet and handed Evan a beer. Judging by Greg’s rosy cheeks he’d already helped himself to a couple.
“You want anything, Sara?”
“I’ll grab a coffee inside, thanks.”
In the kitchen, Lauren was dumping chips into a bowl while Mom finished up the dishes. Lauren has a dishwasher, but Mom won’t use one. She doesn’t think they get dishes clean enough.
“Can I help with anything?” I said.
Lauren turned around with a smile and blew a wisp of blond hair off her face.
“I think we’re okay for the moment.”
I gave Mom a kiss on the cheek, noticing her face seemed thinner since I last saw her. She smiled, but her eyes were tired and she’d definitely lost weight. I poured myself a cup of coffee and felt my good mood slipping away.
As I took my first sip I spotted Melanie and Kyle coming around the side of the house. Dad barely acknowledged Kyle, who was dressed in skinny black jeans and a tight black T-shirt, before turning back to his conversation with Evan.
Lauren came up behind me and rested her chin on my shoulder. We watched the men for a moment. Greg was telling a story — beer in one hand, tongs in the other. Evan and Melanie laughed when he finished. Greg’s eyes darted to Dad to see if he was laughing too — he wasn’t.
I said, “Beer and logging. Greg’s two favorite subjects.”
“Be nice.” Lauren poked my back.
While the kids dove into the food at their table, the adults settled around the log picnic table Greg built. I was just taking my first bite of burger when my cell rang in my pocket. I pulled it out and casually glanced at the call display. Another strange number. It had to be John.
It rang again. As I stood up, everyone around the picnic table stopped talking. The only sound was from the kids’ table.
I said, “Excuse me for a minute.” Dad’s face was a thundercloud. Trying not to break into a run, I walked around the corner until I was out of sight, then answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“I needed to hear your voice.”
His words made me cringe, but I said, “Is everything all right?” How was I going to get him off the phone?
“I’m glad I found you.” His voice was tight, like it was hard to get out the words. “Knowing … knowing I have you … helps.” I heard a noise in the background but couldn’t make it out.
“What’s that sound? Where are you calling from?”
“It’s not too late.”
“What’s not too late?”
“For us.”
I didn’t say anything for a moment, trying to focus on the sounds in the background. Animal or human?
“Tell me it’s not too late.”
“No, no, of course not.”
He exhaled into the phone. It sounded labored, like he was breathing through clenched teeth.
He said, “I have to go.”
After I closed the phone I tried to compose myself, but my throat was so tight I felt like I was strangling. My vision blurred. I pressed the heel of my hand against my temple and closed my eyes. How was I going to deal with this? I couldn’t let my family see how upset I was. I wanted to call Billy, but everyone would wonder if I was gone much longer. Don’t think about John, just shut it out and focus. Pull it together, Sara. As I walked back to the table I caught Evan’s eye and gave a slight nod.
“That the client you were waiting for?” he said when I sat down.
Thank you, baby.
“Yeah.” I avoided my dad’s stare from across the table and picked my burger up. “Sorry about that, guys. This client is really high-maintenance.”
Dad said, “It could’ve waited.”
“He has limited time, so I have to—”
Dad had already turned his attention back to Evan. On the other side of the table Kyle picked at his food. His nails were painted black.
Melanie caught me staring. “Was it that good-looking cop?”
Evan’s body tensed beside me.
I shook my head. “No, a different client.”
Melanie said, “What was his name again? Bill?”
I nodded, then forced myself to take another bite of my burger. “These are great, Greg.”
“He didn’t look like the antique-collecting type,” Melanie said. Now everyone was watching me.
Mom looked confused. “You met one of Sara’s clients?”
Melanie said, “Yeah, when I stopped by the other day they were having lunch.”
Shut up, Melanie.
Evan stopped eating and was looking at me.
“He just came over to see my shop and I was making a sandwich, so I offered him one.” Not quite, but close enough.
Melanie said, “So what are you doing for him?” I wanted to smash my burger into her smirking face.
Think, think.
“His mother just passed away and she had a basement full of antiques. I’m trying to sort through them for him and clean them up so he can sell them. There are quite a few pieces.” I warmed to my lie. “Could take me a while.” I glanced at Evan. He was staring down at his plate.
Before I could say anything further my cell rang.
Dad dropped his burger on his plate and looked disgusted.
I checked the call display. It was John again. My pulse sped up.
I groaned and got to my feet. “I’m so sorry.”
Dad said, “Sit down.”
“It’s my client again—”
“Sit down.” Dad’s hands balled into fists by his plate.
“Sorry, I have to take it.”
As I left the table Dad shook his head and said something to Mom. I glanced back over my shoulder and tried to catch Evan’s eye, but he didn’t look up.
Around the corner of the house I said, “What’s wrong?”
“The noise.” He groaned into the phone. I heard something slamming.
“Are you hurt?”
“You have to talk to me — you have to help.”
Traffic sounds.
“Are you driving?”
Screeching tires. A car honked. Were those the noises that were upsetting him?
“Maybe you should pull over and—” Ally came around the corner of the house. Oh, crap. Why didn’t Evan stop her?
I covered the speaker just as she said, “Grandpa said you have to come have cake now.”
“Okay, sweetie. I’ll be there in a minute. Go ahead.”
As she trotted off I said, “John? Are you still there?” Only sounds of traffic.
I was about to hang up when he finally said in a desperate voice, “I need you to talk to me.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Tell me — tell me your favorite foods.”
I wiped sweat from my forehead. I was missing my nephew’s birthday because he wanted to hear what I like to eat?
“Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong? I’m at a family party and people are—”
“I thought you said you didn’t tell anyone about me.” His voice was hard.
“I didn’t! But it’s going to start looking odd that I’m talking on my phone and people are going to ask questions and I don’t—”
He’d hung up.
For the rest of the party every nerve ending in my body vibrated with unanswered questions. What were the sounds in the background? Why was he talking about a noise? What was he going to do now? My whole system was in overdrive — my face burned, my armpits were soaked with sweat, my legs screamed to get out, to go home, talk to Billy, anyone who could make this horrible feeling go away. I tried to focus on the conversation around me, but I couldn’t follow the threads. Every kid’s voice grated, every shriek sent a bolt of anger through me. I glanced at my watch constantly, my phone tight in my hand.
It didn’t help that Dad gave me hell right in front of Ally for answering the phone, calling me selfish and rude. I apologized, like I always do, but he kept giving me the evil eye after we returned to the party. Mom’s smile flickered in and out as she looked back and forth between us. Melanie and I simply avoided each other. At least Lauren didn’t seem to be angry, but she sure was distracted. Every time I looked at her she was watching Greg. One time I caught her giving him a dirty look when he went for another beer — not that it stopped him. But I was having my own relationship problems. Evan was laughing and joking with everyone, putting his arm around my shoulder when Brandon opened our present, but he wasn’t meeting my eye. Finally it was time to go. My good-byes were short, earning a concerned look from Mom, but I was focused on getting Ally and Moose to the Cherokee. I practically dragged Ally down the driveway, snapping when she complained. Evan was silent.
We were backing out when my cell chirped, alerting me I had a text message.
Billy: How was the party? Call when you get home.
“Who’s that?” Evan said.
“The police want to go over John’s calls.” I was already dialing Billy’s number, but it went straight to voice mail. “Crap, he must be out of range.”
Evan stared at the road ahead.
The rest of the drive was silent. When we finally got home, Ally threw herself in front of the TV to watch Hannah Montana. I tried to call Billy again and this time I left a message. After ten minutes, which I spent washing our dishes from breakfast, I went looking for Evan. He was in the backyard cleaning up Moose’s poop.
I said, “I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not like that.”
“I’m thinking you should clean up after your dog.”
My dog? That pissed me off.
“I try to stay on top of things, Evan, but I have to take care of everything when you’re gone.”
“It takes five minutes.”
“You know how busy I’ve been lately.”
“Yeah, too busy to tell me you’re having lunch with other guys.”
“It was nothing. Melanie was just trying to stir up trouble.”
He jabbed the shovel at the ground, scooping in short, jerky movements. “Well, she did a good job. Greg kept giving me weird looks all afternoon.”
“What was I supposed to say? You know I’m not allowed to talk about it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me he was here?”
“By the time we talked, John had called again and I was freaking out. I didn’t even think to tell you Billy came over because I didn’t think it mattered. He’s probably going to have to come by a lot, and—”
“Now it’s Billy?” Evan stopped the shovel and looked at me.
“Oh my God, Evan, that’s just what Sandy calls him. He’s not even my type, okay? He dresses super slick and he’s got tattoos and—”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
I wanted to grab the shovel out of his hands and thump him over the head with it.
“You know what? I don’t need this. If Billy can find this guy, I’m going to talk to him every day because I want him out of my life — you should too. I would think you’d be happy someone is checking on me when you’re gone. If you don’t trust me, maybe we shouldn’t be getting married.” I spun around and stormed back into the house.
As I passed the living room I peeked in on Ally. She was wrapped in a blanket on the couch with Moose in her lap, sleepily staring at the TV.
“You should go to bed soon, Ally.”
“Noooo…” Tired of fighting, I left it for now and headed upstairs to my office.
To try and calm down, I wrote out everything I remembered from the calls — making a note to ask Billy if they have the technology to isolate the sounds in the background. I closed my eyes and tried to focus. What were those noises? My eyes flew open — what if he’d abducted a woman? Maybe he was taking her somewhere in the truck and the sounds were her trying to get out!
Just as I picked up the cordless to call Billy again, I heard the sliding glass door open downstairs, then footsteps. Evan was in the kitchen.
I hesitated for a moment. Maybe I should wait until the morning. But this was important.
Billy answered on the first ring.
I said, “I was thinking the sounds in the background could be a woman. Maybe he’s taking her somewhere and he’s going to—”
“Whoa, whoa, hold on. That’s not his MO and we haven’t had any reports of missing women.”
“Then what were the sounds?”
“We’re still working on isolating them, but so far we don’t have anything usable.”
“Maybe you need some more people on the task force.”
“We have every available member of Serious Crimes in Vancouver and some in Nanaimo—”
“Can’t you bring in members from Toronto?”
“It doesn’t work like that, Sara. Most of the files are old and have already been investigated. We have access to lots of resources and this case is top-priority, but until John makes a move, or someone sees something, we can’t do much.” “It doesn’t seem like they’re doing anything.”
“I’m sure it seems that way, but they’re following up leads, coordinating with the lab and other departments. Right now we’re trying to find out who owns the cell phone he used.”
I knew I sounded cranky when I said, “Do you at least know where he was calling from?”
But Billy just said, “He’s moved west of Prince George, probably somewhere near Burns Lake. It’s possible he’s heading toward Prince Rupert, so we’ve notified the local detachments and they’ll circulate the sketch to truck stops, gas stations, any places he might stop along the way.” I took the heat out of my voice. “What do you think was wrong with him? He was complaining about a noise?”
“We’re hoping the next time you talk you can get him to elaborate.”
“I don’t want there to be a next time. I’m sick of this.”
“You have to do what feels right to you, Sara. But I won’t lie — we really need your help. You’re likely our only chance of ever finding him.” I closed my eyes against Billy’s words and dropped my forehead onto my desk.
He said, “I know it feels like he has all the power, but he wants a connection with you. That’s why he keeps calling back. No one knows how far we can push this. But like Sun Tzu says, ‘The opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.’ Eventually he’ll give us something to go on.” Evan was coming up the stairs.
“I have to go.”
“Okay, we’ll be in touch. Get some rest.”
Just as I set the cordless down, Evan walked in behind me and dropped into his chair. I spun around.
He said, “Was that Bill?”
God, he could read me like a book. “I had to debrief. Jesus, Evan.”
His face was blank. Part of me wanted to argue and defend, to storm out in righteous anger. My face felt hot and I was on the edge of losing it. Pull back. Flipping out won’t solve the problem.
I took a breath. “I’m sorry I lost my temper. It’s just all this stuff is so big, I really need you on my side.”
“I am on your side.”
“It sure doesn’t feel like it. I hate that you’re mad at me.”
Evan heaved a sigh, then grabbed my foot and pulled it into his lap. As he massaged it he said, “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at this situation. It’s a nightmare.”
“You don’t think I know that? God, he could be killing some woman right now — and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“If he kills someone it’s not your fault. He’s a killer, it’s what he does.”
“But it would be my fault because I didn’t stop him.” I remembered Billy’s words. “I’m pretty much the cops’ only chance at catching him.”
“The cops are using you as bait! You don’t have to talk to him, you know. I think you should just get yourself out of this.”
“I can’t sit here and do nothing while he’s out there looking for his next victim.”
“Sara, you’re always stressed out and your emotions are all over the place.” He held up a hand. “You have every reason to be upset. But I’m worried about you.”
“Are you worried about me or about Billy?”
He gave me a look. “I’m sorry I’m being a jealous prick, okay? If you say I have nothing to worry about, then I believe you. I just hate the idea of some other guy protecting you. You’re my girl.”
I crawled into Evan’s lap and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. As I nuzzled his ear, I said, “Baby, he’s got nothing on you. And right now, he’s the one who has to deal with all my paranoid meltdowns. You get the good stuff.” “Hmm … keep talking.”
I traced my mouth along his collarbone. Licked his earlobe. Whispered against the warm flesh of his neck, “Ally?”
“Asleep on the couch with Moose. I was going to carry her up later. But I can get her now if—”
I put my face close to his and grabbed the back of his hair. He raised his eyebrows. I rested my lips on his and kissed him slowly, softly, then harder — grinding my lips against his, snaking my tongue into his mouth. As he tried to suck on it, I pulled away and smiled at him. He grabbed a length of my hair and wrapped his fist around it, then brought my face close and kissed me hard. I got up and made a come-here motion with my finger, strolling out of the room with an exaggerated sexy walk.
He laughed and followed me into our bedroom. I slid onto the bed, then tossed my hair over my shoulder and said in a bad Southern accent, “Lordy me, sailor, you’ve been out to sea for such a long time, I’m not sure if I remember what to do.…” Evan did his own sexy walk over to the bed, then pulled his shirt off over his head, one-handed — the way I love. He dangled the shirt from his finger, then dropped it to the floor as he wiggled his eyebrows.
I smiled. “I think it’s coming back to me.”
He laughed and climbed into bed beside me. We kissed for a while, our anger long gone. He scraped his unshaven cheeks against mine, laughing as I complained.
He pinned my hands down for a moment. I flashed to John. Had he done that to Julia? How did he hold the women down when he was raping them? I pushed away the violent image. Now Evan was looming over me. I saw John looming over a woman.
Evan looked down into my face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I pulled him on top of me, hiding my face in his neck. And for the next while, I almost believed it.
After breakfast the next morning we took Ally and Moose for a walk out to Neck Point to watch the sea lions, then Ally went over to Meghan’s to play. I was working hard on keeping John out of my mind, but Evan was working harder. I’d mention something about the case and Evan would give me a kiss, I’d mention something else and he’d nuzzle my neck, I’d try to push him away and finish my thought and he’d nibble my ear. I’d try to wiggle away and somehow my bra was coming off.
Afterward Evan and I lazed around in bed and made plans for what to serve at the wedding rehearsal dinner. Now that I’d allowed myself to relax for a moment, I started looking forward to the big event again. But it also reminded me I still needed to arrange a day to go shopping with the girls. The idea of putting up with Melanie for hours made me want to grind my teeth, but there was no way around it.
Evan and I were discussing decorations and I was getting excited about the idea of fairy lights strung through fir trees when my cell rang in the office.
I looked at Evan. He said, “Go ahead.”
A blanket wrapped around my naked body, I sprinted down the hall and grabbed the phone off my desk.
It was the number John had called from last time.
As soon as I answered he said, “Are you having a nice day?” There was a tone in his voice I hadn’t heard before — a coolness.
“It’s going all right. How about you?” I tried to sound pleasant, but I was even angrier than usual that he’d called and ruined what had been a nice afternoon.
“Is Evan there?”
Still unsure of his tone, I said, “He’s here … but he’s not in the room, if you’re—”
“Have you been honest with me, Sara?”
My stomach dropped. “Of course.”
“Have. You. Been. Honest?”
I sat down in my chair. Did he know I’ve been talking to the police? Oh, God, did he find out about Ally?
“What’s wrong?”
“I saw the Web site.”
My mind raced. Had there been another article?
“I’m not sure what—”
“It’s all there.” What was he talking about? I decided to wait him out.
After a few beats he said, “You have a wedding date — you’re trying to trick me.”
“I don’t know what…” Then I remembered Evan had made a wedding Web site a couple of weeks ago. How was I going to get out of this?
“We had a date set. But lately we’ve been talking about changing it. That’s why I said we weren’t sure. I wasn’t lying to you. I wouldn’t do that.” I held my breath.
He hung up.
I was still sitting there a couple of minutes later when Evan came in and sat behind me at his desk.
“Was it him?” he said.
I nodded.
Evan spun me around in my chair to face him. “You okay?”
“He found our wedding Web site. I’d told him I didn’t know the date. He sounded really mad.”
“Did he threaten you?”
“No, it was just … his voice.”
“I’ll put a password on the site right away. You should call Bill.”
“This is bad, Evan.”
“It’ll be okay. He’s not going to kill anyone over a Web site.” He was already signing on to his computer.
That night I tossed and turned while Evan slumbered beside me — or tried to. When I rolled into him for the hundredth time he murmured, “Go to sleep, Sara.” I forced my body to be still, but my mind spun in dizzying circles, sending horrific snapshots of John ripping a woman’s clothes off, his hands tight around her throat, her scream rending through the air as he forced himself into her.
As soon as Evan left in the morning, I met Billy and Sandy at the station. Hungover from lack of sleep, I clutched a coffee in my hand while talking a mile a minute. I finally started to calm down when Billy said I’d handled the call with John perfectly, that you have to “know when to fight and when not to fight.” Sandy smiled and nodded, but I got the distinct feeling she was pissed off. I wasn’t feeling too happy myself. I’d been hoping John’s using the same phone might help us somehow, but they told me he was using a prepaid cell, which he’d bought for cash. No one at the store remembered what he looked like. All he had to do from now on was buy a SIM card to top up his minutes.
The call came from near Vanderhoof, so he was heading east again, which meant he might be making his way back to the junction at Prince George. My first thought was that he could be coming to the island — if he drove all night he could be in Vancouver already. I asked them if I was in danger and Billy said they didn’t think so, but to be on the safe side they’d have an officer patrol by our house several times a day.
Even with those reassurances and Billy texting later to say, Hang in there, you’re doing great, it took hours before I stopped jumping at every sound. When John still hadn’t called by Tuesday night, I started hoping he was gone for good. But I couldn’t shake the feeling he was just warming up.
After I dropped Ally off at school yesterday, I came home and let Moose into the backyard. Feeling more settled than I had in a while, I decided to burn off some steam in my shop before our session that afternoon. I got totally caught up in refinishing a cherry table and before I knew it a couple of hours had flown by. Then I remembered Moose was still out in the backyard. I expected him to be waiting at the sliding glass door, wet nose marks smeared all across the glass, but he wasn’t there. I opened the door and whistled. Nothing.
“Moose?” When he still didn’t come running, I walked out to the backyard. Was the little bugger stuck in the woodpile again? But when I checked he wasn’t there.
Maybe he was messing around in the compost. I followed the stepping-stones around the side of the house. He wasn’t there either. I walked closer to the gate and checked it out. It wasn’t latched.
I ran into the driveway yelling, “Moose!” at the top of my lungs. A dog barked, and I held my breath. It barked again — too deep to be Moose. I ran all the way to the end of the driveway where our mailbox is. Please, oh, please, be here. But he wasn’t.
He wasn’t at any of my neighbors’ houses either. That’s why I had to cancel our session. After I phoned you I spent the afternoon calling the pound, the SPCA, the vet’s—everyone. No one has seen him. I called Evan in near-hysteria — totally flipping out and accusing him of leaving the gate unlatched when he’d cleaned up the backyard. He just kept raising his voice and repeating, “Sara, calm down for a minute. Sara, stop!” until I shut up long enough for him to tell me he was positive he’d closed it.
After we got off the phone I called Billy, sure John had taken Moose in retaliation. Right away Billy checked with the patrol car that was keeping an eye on my place. The officer said he didn’t see anything suspicious when he drove by that morning, but Billy still came over and checked around the house. Not that there was much to see. The gate would be hard to open from the outside, but if you were tall enough you could reach over and do it.
When Billy finished looking around, he made me sit and write out a list of who to call next, where to put up signs, what Web sites to post on. At first I balked, wanting to just get out and start searching, but Billy said it would save time and that “running around like a chicken with its head cut off” wasn’t doing Moose any favors. Finally I just grabbed a pad of paper and started the list. My heart rate slowed with each new item I added.
Billy suggested I try to call John to see if he was on the island. We didn’t know if he was using the same phone anymore, but I gave it a shot. I just got a “this customer is out of range” recording. Billy said if John had taken Moose, he’d probably call soon. The police were going to park a car on the road until we found out if John was on the island. After Billy went back to the station I called Lauren. She rushed over and we made signs, then posted them everywhere. But no one’s called.
When it was time to pick up Ally from school, I didn’t know what to say. I try not to lie to her, but the one other time we lost Moose, at a park, she freaked out and bit Evan when he tried to stop her from running across the road after him. I was hoping against hope I’d find Moose this time before I had to tell her the truth. If he doesn’t come home … I can’t allow myself to even go down that path. I don’t know if I did the right thing — I never know if I’ve done the right thing — but I told Ally that Moose had to get a checkup and was staying over at the vet’s. She wanted to visit him, but I talked her out of it and distracted her with movies and games all evening.
Ally fell right to sleep, but I stayed awake for hours worrying about where Moose could be, terrified of who might have him. And why.