I relaxed into Gabriel’s arms and let him rock me gently back and forth. I knew things weren’t settled yet. We were going to have to have a lot of long, long talks about trust, fidelity, communication, and not dropping one’s sexual partner’s naked ass onto concrete. But for the moment, I was willing to skip it all. I just wanted someone to care whether my face disintegrated or not. I don’t think that’s a violation of feminist principles.
“What is he doing here?” Andrea demanded, giving Gabriel the Glare of One Thousand Suns.
“I called him,” Dick muttered.
“You what?” Andrea cried.
Gabriel lifted his head from my shoulder and growled at Dick, “How could you let this happen?”
Dick looked sheepish. “I can’t watch her every minute, son. How was I supposed to know she’d be attacked by ground shipping?”
The two of them shared a look over my head. Gabriel made several threatening faces. Dick responded with rude gestures. Eventually, they looked like two inebriated mimes having a danceoff.
“Would someone clue the scabby girl in on the conversation?” I demanded.
“Dick was supposed to be watching you,” Gabriel admitted. “He’s been watching you for me for a while now.”
“Well, that explains why you’ve spent so much time at the shop!” I took a swipe at Dick, who lithely stepped out of the way toward Andrea. She smacked him in my stead. “I do not need the Dick and Gabriel Secret Service Detail!”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you to take care of yourself. Between the letters and the pranks, I was scared. I just wanted to protect you.”
“Which is probably what put me in danger. Jackass,” I said, halfheartedly slapping at his arm.
“I love you. Love you so much,” he whispered into my neck. “I don’t know what I would have done if you’d been … I am a huge jackass.”
“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me,” I told him, ignoring Andrea when she said, “That’s just sad.”
“She’s fine,” Dick said. “Really, Gabe. She’s going to be OK. She’s a tough little nut.”
“Dick saved me,” I told Gabriel. “Without him, I would be a little pile of Jane ashes waiting to be vacuumed up.”
“Thank you,” Gabriel told Dick. Dick seemed to be waiting for a punchline, so Gabriel repeated it. “I mean it. Thank you.”
Dick would have blushed if he was capable. Instead, he made a study of the floor.
“Can I see the device?” Gabriel asked.
Dick retrieved the box, which we had wrapped in a clear plastic bag.
“The label was intact, undamaged,” Dick said, showing Gabriel the address flap. “You couldn’t even tell the box had already been taped once until you took off the second layer.”
“So, whoever it was would have had to monitor our Dumpster closely enough to wait for a barely damagedAmazon.combox with an intact label to be thrown away?” I made a face and then winced at the pressure on my burnt cheeks. “You know, I think I’m more upset by that than I am the silver thing.”
“The silver is very pure,” Gabriel observed. “I can smell it, even from here. Colloidal silver tends to be higher in concentration than the mix used in defense sprays, and this seems to be a particularly potent batch. If this had sprayed you directly in the face, instead of Andrea, you might not have survived. It would be like someone who is allergic to bee stings stepping on a hive. Your healing ability would have been overwhelmed, and you would have been stripped down to the bone. Young vampires rarely come back from injuries like that.”
“Didn’t you say your new friend Courtney runs a sterling-silver shop?” Dick asked.
“Who’s Courtney?” Gabriel asked.
“I met her at the Chamber of Commerce.”
“You belong to the Chamber of Commerce?”
“Hey, I haven’t been sitting around moping after you. I am a very busy and important woman.”
Andrea gave me a smirking yet disapproving look. I amended, “I moped a little bit.”
Dick rolled his eyes. “Someone who runs a jewelry business would be pretty well versed in the different forms of silver, especially high-concentration stuff.”
“Oh, come on, guys, don’t do this,” I whined. “I really like Courtney. Well, that one, at least. I just want one normal human friend without a frightening agenda. Please don’t take that from me.”
“I think that hurts my feelings,” Andrea muttered.
“Besides, I think we all know who—” I was interrupted as Emery sauntered from the rear of the shop. He stopped and sniffed delicately at the harsh disinfectants, shuddering.
“What’s that smell? It smells like burnt popcorn in here,” he said, gagging.
“Emery, how long have you been here?” Andrea asked.
“I just arrived, Andrea, dear,” he said, offering her an overly gooey smile. “I came in the staff entrance.”
“It was locked,” Dick noted, his jaw set as he pulled Andrea just a little bit closer.
“I borrowed a key,” Emery said in the dismissive tone he always used when talking to Dick.
“You’re going to give that back now,” I told him, not bothering to disguise the irritation in my voice.
Emery ignored me, his eyes sweeping over the disheveled room. “What happened?”
“Someone sent Jane a can of aerosol silver, which sprayed all over the shop,” Dick said, watching Emery carefully for a reaction.
“Did it get on any of the more important books?” Emery demanded with a shriek. “Does liquid silver stain? Have you contacted your insurance agent?”
Sadly, that was exactly the reaction I’d expected. I sincerely looked forward to the day when Dick revealed their blood connection to Emery … and then Dick took his great-great-grandson out to the woodshed for an old-fashioned ass-whoopin’.
“And I’m fine, thank you,” I muttered. I felt a low growl rumble deep in Gabriel’s chest. I placed a restraining hand across his shoulders. As much as I appreciated Gabriel’s indignant response, Emery couldn’t help that he was raised to be a socially clueless tool. Plus, spilling Emery’s blood would probably damage more books.
“Well, of course, I’m concerned for you, Jane, but obviously, you’re fine,” Emery said, giving another delicate shudder at the sight of my ravaged face. “But who knows what kind of damage this little prank has done? Who knows how many books have been ruined?”
“We’re not really worried about that right now, Emery,” Andrea said. “We’re just grateful that Jane’s all right.”
“Of course, you are. You’re such a good friend, Andrea.” Emery pressed Andrea’s hands between his. Dick’s eyes narrowed into dangerous little slits.
“We’ll start checking the books just as soon as we have all this cleaned up,” Dick told him.
“Why don’t you head on home to the boardinghouse or the malt shop or wherever you wholesome types spend your evenings?”