IT WAS FRIDAY morning, and Rachel was upstairs making herself pretty. I was in the kitchen, cooking up a storm for the guests, and Beth was setting the dining room tables. Wherever the rats and mice were hiding, it worked, because the two couples that checked in yesterday made it through the night without screaming.
"What is that heavenly scent?" Beth asked.
"I'm baking a caramel bread pudding custard."
She walked back into the kitchen and eyeballed me. "You're joking."
"Want to see it?"
I led her to the oven and opened the door and said, "You'll get the full aroma in about twenty minutes."
"You've made this before, right?"
"Let me put it this way: within a week people will travel from parts unknown just to eat breakfast here."
"If you cook as well as you brag, my troubles are over."
I put my hand on my heart and bowed. "No one can brag as well as I cook. Not even me."
She looked past me, to the box on the far counter. "What's this?"
"Fresh flowers for the centerpiece."
Beth used both hands to smooth her hair back. "Custard, fresh flowers. I'm not sure you realize how deeply in debt I am."
"Relax. It's my treat."
Rachel made her way down the steps treading lightly in black, espadrille wedge sandals. She wore pale pink lipstick and had on a white dress shirt with a high button-down collar, and black stretch jeans. The jeans looked particularly hot. She carried a crystal vase that I knew to be Baccarat. Reacting to Beth's stunned expression, Rachel said, "For the centerpiece." She spied the box of flowers and opened it and began arranging them in the vase.
Beth hadn't moved a muscle since entering the kitchen. She continued staring at the vase. "Who are you people?" she said.
Rachel's lips curled into a smile that resembled a pretty pink bow. She winked at me, and I took the cue.
"We are people not to be trifled with," I said.
"Excuse me?"
Rachel said, "That's a line from our favorite movie, The Princess Bride."
"Oh," Beth said. "Well, if it's your favorite, I'll have to check it out."
"It's about a pirate," Rachel said. "We love pirates, don't we, Kevin?"
"Arrr," I said. "And them who likes 'em, too."
"And their ships and crew members," Rachel said.
"Aye, and their families as well," I said, getting into it.
"And don't forget their descendants," Rachel said.
"Aye, especially them-"
And then something creepy happened. Beth slowly turned toward Rachel, turned so slowly I thought she must be imitating a scene from her own favorite movie, except that her face had lost all color and expression. When at last Beth's eyes met Rachel's, she spoke in a voice so chilly it seemed to freeze the room.
"What's going on here?" she said. Then she looked at me.
I shrugged. "We're saving your bed and breakfast. I'm cooking, Rachel's serving."
Beth looked at us a long time, making up her mind about something. Whatever it was, it seemed to go in our favor because a bit of the color came back to her face and she managed a tight smile. "In that case," she said, "I'd better get out the trays and bowls and serving spoons."
She headed back into the dining room and busied herself in the hutch. Rachel and I exchanged a glance.
"What was that all about?" Rachel whispered.
"Hell if I know," I said. " You're the woman."
Rachel made a soft singing sound, "Doo doo doo doo," which I recognized as the theme from the Twilight Zone.