Pim wanted to make himself more presentable by jumping in the river or ocean, whichever was closer, but after inquiring the time from a horrified passerby, he was afraid he'd miss the auction. He went to the nearest house and knocked on the door and offered to pay a half-crown for a basin of water.
"That's a fair price for the basin," the woman allowed, "but where would I get another? You'll have to try someone else."
"I'd be buyin' only the water in the basin, Mum."
"What? Are you daft? Be gone, or I'll call my husband."
Pim produced the coin.
"I've only got used water," she said.
"How used?"
"Two days worth. But it's a full basin. You want it?"
"Aye, and a rag to scrub with."
The lady of the house eyed Pim closely, scrunched her nose and said, "Is that vomit in your beard?"
"Aye, Mum."
"Well in that case you may keep the rag. I wouldn't want to touch it after you've used it."
"You're too kind."
"I'd rather bring a horse turd into my home."
"Yes, Mum. Thank you."
Pim did what he could with the basin of used water, though it smelled worse to him than he did. When he got to the town square he sat on a rock and waited for Captain Jack, whom he sensed was drawing near. Ten minutes later Jack Hawley was standing over him, chewing him out.
"Are you insane? If they see you here they'll lock you up!"
"I'm not a pirate no more, Cap'n."
"What?"
"My sweet Darla's dead, and I'm gonna buy this wife what's bein' sold today."
This was shaping up to be Jack's most interesting shore leave ever. He tried to picture Abby Winter's mother marrying the wild and wooly pirate, Mr. Pim. An unintended smile crossed his face.
"What's so funny?" Pim growled.
"Easy, man. I'm sorry for your loss. I never met Darla, but I know she was special to you. I meant no offense by the smile. It's just the thought of you settling down. Pim: a landlubber!"
Pim nodded. Then said, "You know this woman what's to be sold today?"
"I don't, though I suspect she'll be happy to marry a kind-hearted soul such as yourself."
"Thank you, Jack. I'm not picky. I'm sure she'll do."
Jack looked him over. "You're sober?"
"Mostly. I think."
"Good. Looks like you had a rough night pining for Darla."
"Aye. And I drank some, too."
"And coughed some back, by the look of it."
"Aye."
"You need some money?"
"Why, thank you Cap'n, but no, I did no whorin' so I'm flush."
"Well, do me a favor and act like you know me not."
A hurt expression creased Pim's face.
Jack said, "I'm not ashamed to be in your company, but if some townie recognizes you, they'll lock us both up and I won't be able to rescue you."
Pim nodded. "Aye, you always was a smart one, Cap'n."
"And Mr. Pim?"
"Aye?"
"I'm proud to have served with you."
Pim's eyes moistened. "It's been an honor, Jack."
"Good luck man."
"Thank you, sir."