I packed Amy into a Joe Baxi. Things looked way too messy to have her around now. But something told me she wasn’t just going to disappear.
The thought of putting her in danger was one of a million things whirring round in my mind right now. None of them nice. I caught myself biting on the inside of my cheek as I moved off. The pain nipped my nerves. ‘Jeez, what doesn’t these days?’ I thought.
I jumped on the first bus that appeared.
Someone played Sting on their iPod. Me, I’m with Ozzy Osbourne, he said that no matter how grim things get, ‘It could be worse, you could be Sting!’
I rolled this about for a while, to the soundtrack of ‘Fields of Gold’. Christ, could have chucked up when it came on. That’s the way with Sting. For me it’s the whole ‘save the planet’ bollocks. He’ll gad about on TV with some gadgie from the rainforest, while plugging Concorde and Jaguar at the same time. For Chrissake, a Jag’s got two petrol tanks! Can’t he see the contradiction?
I got off on Princes Street, immediately caught in the slipstream of shopping zombies. Was a no-brainer to just keep walking. My legs seemed to tap into the collective rhythm and before long I’d put myself right in the path of Fitz the Crime’s patch.
‘By the holy… I thought we’d said all we had to to each other,’ he blasted coming round the corner of Montgomery Street and on to the Walk.
‘That’s not how we left it, Fitz.’
‘Look, Dury-’
I cut him off, stepped up to face him. ‘No, you look, Fitz. I’m not fucking about, hear me?’
Silence.
I started up again, ‘I helped you out once and now you’re going to settle the score.’
‘Or else — Is that it?’
‘Well…’ I kept my tone threatening.
‘I’m not a man to cross, Dury.’
‘Neither am I.’ I let that one register, shifted on to the front foot. ‘I want the file on Billy Boy.’
‘Are you out of your mind? Am I even hearing this?’ Fitz tried to push past me, but I was too quick for him, blocked his path.
‘I won’t ask again, Fitz. The file on Billy.’
‘Dury, you’re cracked. Jesus! Have you any idea of the consequences?’
‘Monday, Fitz.’
He lit up like a bonfire, his meaty neck quivered as he put his head down and walked right through me.
I decided to spend a few days in the West End. Thought it had to be the last place anyone would look for me.
Mostly, I don’t get out this way, but I found a B amp;B. They charged like raging bulls, but it was getting dark and I needed to lie low for a while. Even managed to keep off the sauce. Kept playing Bob Dylan’s advice: ‘Alcohol will kill anything that’s alive and preserve anything that’s dead.’
I knew what he meant, but I wasn’t ready to start drying out just yet. It was temporary; I needed a clear head.
Was tugging at the window, in preparation of a fly-smoke when my mobile went off.
‘Dury.’
‘You’re an elusive fella, Mr Dury.’
It was Milo, but with none of his usual sparkle.
‘Oh, Jeez, Milo. I’m sorry, I forgot to-’
‘’Tis fine, Gus. I know ye have a busy life to lead.’
‘No, no — it’s more than that. I had my flat broken into and, well, it’s just been pretty full-on lately.’
‘I understand.’
He might have understood, but I sure as hell didn’t. What was I playing at? He’d asked me for some help, an old man with no one, and I’d let him down. I deserved flogging.
‘Milo, are you okay?’
‘Yes. I’m okay.’
‘Are you sure about that? You sound tired.’
‘Gus, I must be very frank with you-’ He broke off, coughing and spluttering like he’d hit his death rattle.
‘Milo? You still there?’
‘Yes, I–I made the fatal mistake of travelling from home in the pissing rain, ’tis lashing!’
‘What was wrong with the pay phone in the hallway?’
A long silence. I could hear him wheezing, breath a difficulty.
‘Gus… I saw something very strange back there.’
I felt the muscles in my face twitch. ‘The girls — is this about the girls, Milo? Look, I saw them too, and I’m all fired up to get to the bottom of it.’
‘’Tis depravity I saw. God, can I even say it?’ His voice sounded flat of emotion; the words he usually packed with humour and meaning escaped him.
‘Have you been hurt… threatened?’
‘Not exactly.’
‘Not exactly! Jesus, stay put. I’ll be over right away.’
‘No, Gus, please no.’
I could hear tears coming from him now.
‘Milo?’
‘Please, please. Don’t come, not now.’
‘What’s up?’
‘I’m sorry, I was wrong to call. I was wrong to involve you… only, haven’t I no one else?’
His tears came faster. I could hear him croaking and trying hard to hold back the flow of hurt that came out of him.
‘You have me! I’m here for you. Look, whatever the problem is, there’s nothing I won’t try to fix.’
I heard the heavy call-box receiver go down. My mind spun, my stomach followed it faster than getaway tyres. I ran to the other side of the room and picked up my jacket. My smokes fell from the pocket but I didn’t stop to pick them up as I went to the door.
I yanked the handle and my heart rate suddenly dropped to nothing.
A face I hardly recognised stood in the hallway.
‘Hello, Gus.’
‘Debs! What are you doing here?’