Thorleif Brenden is shaking all over as the TV2 car drives slowly down the cobbled avenue leading away from Oslo Prison. Everything is out of focus.
Guri Palme in the front seat turns around to check on him.
‘How are you doing, Toffe?’
Her voice makes him jump.
‘F-fine,’ he replies.
‘Are you sure? You don’t look it.’
Thorleif doesn’t respond. He is trying to forget Tore Pulli’s eyes, but it’s impossible. They turned cold and still as if someone had covered them with a moist membrane. Saliva and mucus dribbled from his mouth and mixed with something white and foaming. His hands started to quiver, and the twitching spread to each body part like an infection. Then Pulli slumped on his side where he lay shaking for a few seconds before silence descended on him like a blanket.
‘We should expect to be called in to make a statement later today,’ Palme continues.
A statement, Thorleif thinks, alarmed, and feels his face become burning hot. He knows that he will never be able to give a false account of what happened. His voice will falter and his eyes become evasive. He is sure the police will grow suspicious and wonder why he is so nervous. They will want to question him further. In the end he will crack. And he knows what the consequences will be.
The man in the black leather jacket told him he could go home after killing Pulli and everything would carry on as normal. But how can it? He has taken the life of another human being. And what guarantee does he have that they really will leave him alone now that the job is done? Thorleif saw the man’s face, he knows that the man had accomplices to bring about Pulli’s death. Do they think that threatening Thorleif’s family is enough to make him keep his mouth shut for ever? What if the police see through him and the choice is taken away from him?
In the park below the police station Thorleif sees an Asian man wearing light summer clothes. The man is walking his dog. He reminds Thorleif of a guide he and a friend had when they were hiking in the Caucasus Mountains trying to find their way from Laza to Xinaliq in Azerbaijan. Thorleif closes his eyes and recalls how they hiked through a deep gorge between grassy mountains, waded in water up to their knees through fast-flowing rivers and were met by sheepdogs foaming at the mouths when they finally arrived early one afternoon. The shepherd who ran out from under a tarpaulin didn’t mind that they threw stones at his dogs to keep them at bay. The toothless man even invited them inside his shelter for a cup of tea before he started banging on a bucket and singing shepherd songs in Ketsh.
The village had only one telephone, Thorleif remembers. All the men came out of their huts to watch them communicate with the outside world. The village children followed them too, all eager to show them the brick house where they would be sleeping that night. The father of the house appeared with his oldest son, welcomed them warmly in Arabic and took them straight down to a pen where Thorleif picked out a lamb that was slaughtered a few seconds later.
Afterwards, they had a warm foot bath and a meal of sharp sheep’s cheese which they washed down with tea. Behind a curtain little girls sneaked a peek at the men’s world. At night the couple’s bed was made ready for them. Thorleif will never forget feeling like a royal traveller in the Middle Ages.
He opens his eyes again. There is so much he hasn’t done, so much he hasn’t seen. So many things he has yet to show his children.
Ole Reinertsen drives into TV2’s underground car park and parks the car. Thorleif is the last to get out.
‘You go on without me,’ he says as he slams the door shut. Palme turns to him.
‘Where are you going?’
‘I… I just need to get something from my car.’
She looks at him for a moment before she nods. Thorleif goes out the same way the car drove in, out into the daylight where the building across the road offers him a little shade. He thinks about Elisabeth and the children and of what he is about to do. And he has an epiphany. Sometimes it’s infinitely harder to live than to die.