I visited Paolicelli the day before the hearing. When he came into the interview room I noticed that he looked particularly depressed.
“I’ve come to go over things with you. Before anything else, we have to decide once and for all what we’re going to do. We can still choose to plea-bargain tomorrow morning.”
“I’m being stupid, right? I should plea-bargain and limit the damage, shouldn’t I? Otherwise the sentence will be upheld, and then God knows when I’ll be out of here.”
“Not necessarily. But as I’ve already said many times, if we plea-bargain you can be certain you’ll be out in a few years, or at least on day release.”
“For weeks I couldn’t wait for the hearing to start and I felt really confident. Now I don’t know what to do and I’m fucking afraid. What should I do?”
Don’t ask me, I can’t tell you that. I’m just a professional, I’m here to suggest alternatives, in a detached way, from a technical point of view. I have to present you with the likely outcome of each option. Then the choice has to be yours. I can’t take that responsibility.
I didn’t say any of that shit. I was silent for just a few seconds, before replying. And when I did reply, neither my voice nor the words I was saying seemed to be coming from me.
“I say: let’s go ahead and appeal. If the drugs weren’t yours – and I believe they weren’t – it isn’t right for you to be in prison and we have to get you out. We have to try every possible way. If the drugs were yours, this is the very last moment for you to tell me. I’m not here to judge you. Tell me and tomorrow we’ll do the best plea bargain possible.”
He looked me in the eyes. I returned his gaze and it seemed to me that his eyes had become watery.
“Let’s appeal.”
That was all.
I gave him a brief rundown on what would happen the next day and told him his examination would take place during the following hearing. Then I asked him if he had any questions, and fortunately he didn’t. So I said goodbye – see you tomorrow in court – and left.
As I left the prison I was about to switch my mobile on again. Then I had second thoughts. Better to avoid any risk, any temptation, at least tonight. For what it was worth.