Bobby rocks back and forth on the edge of the chair. His mouth has gone slack and he's no longer focused on me. I'm almost there. My fingers are in the cracks of his psyche. A single affirmation, no matter how small, will be enough for me to lever his defenses open. But I'm running out of story. I don't have all the pieces. I risk losing him if I overreach.
"Who was she, Bobby? Was her name Catherine McBride? I know that you knew her. Where did you meet? Was it in hospital? There's no shame in seeking help, Bobby. I know you've been evaluated before. Was Catherine a patient or a nurse? I think she was a patient."
Bobby pinches the bridge of his nose, rubbing the spot where his glasses perch. He reaches slowly into his trouser pocket and I suddenly feel a twinge of doubt. His fingers are searching for something. He has eighty pounds and twenty years on me. The door is on the far side of the room. I won't reach it before he does.
His hand emerges. I'm staring at it, transfixed. He is holding a white handkerchief, which he unfolds and lays in his lap. Then he takes off his glasses and slowly cleans each lens, rubbing the cloth between his thumb and forefinger. Maybe this slow-motion ritual is buying him time.
He raises the glasses to the light, checking for any smudges. Then he looks past them and stares directly at me. "Do you make up this crap as you go along, or did you spend all weekend coming up with it?"
The pressure is dispelled like air leaking from a punctured raft. I have overplayed my hand. I want to ask Bobby where I went wrong, but he's not going to tell me. A poker player doesn't explain why he calls a bluff. I must have been near the mark, but that's a lot like NASA saying its Mars Polar Lander achieved its target because it crashed and went missing on the right planet.
Bobby's faith in me has been shaken. He also knows that I'm frightened of him, which is not a good basis for a clinical relationship. What in God's name was I thinking? I've wound him up like a clockwork toy and now I have to let him loose.