He shook his head. “I won’t do it.”
“Thierry,” I said it more sharply than I’d ever said his name before. “I’m serious. I know this sucks. I’m not exactly asking for flowers and jewelry here. Or a temporary loan of cash, which actually I could really use at the moment.” I tried to smile, but it was a lost cause. “I know you’ll do it quickly. It won’t hurt.”
He didn’t say anything for a very long time. “We’ll find another way.”
“Stop being so damn stubborn and just promise me this. Please.”
“Damn it, Sarah.”
I raised an eyebrow. “If you won’t do it, I can always ask Barry. I know he won’t have a problem with this request.”
His silver eyes glistened as he looked at me long and hard. “If this is really what you want—”
“It is.”
“Then I promise. But only if there’s no other possible solution.”
He crushed me against him so hard it took my breath away. That is, it would have, if I still needed to breathe. His body warmed me up a little and I sank against him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him softly.
I’d just totally asked my boyfriend to stake me. And he’d said yes.
I had no idea why I felt good about that.
But I knew it was the right thing to do. Out of every decision I’d made recently—both the good ones and the questionable ones—I knew this was right.
Dying wasn’t my first choice. Or my second, either. Hell no. Part of me fought forward, wanting to beg him to forget everything I’d just said, but I pushed that cowardly part of myself back down where it belonged.
I didn’t want to live if I was a nightwalker. She was a different person entirely—a mean, nasty, black poison that ran just below the surface of my skin. A monster lying in wait, ready for the chance to take over my life.
She had to die.
I’d fight like hell to find another solution to this monumental problem, of course, but a girl always has to have a Plan B just in case.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Thierry murmured into my hair. “I’ve only just found you.”
I was wrapped in his arms and his warm scent embraced me as well. He always smelled so good. Behind it I could smell him, the warmth of his skin. I could even smell the distress he felt at the moment. I slid my hands through his dark hair and propped myself up on my tiptoes so I could look him right in his eyes. Then I kissed him, gentle at first, but it grew and grew until his mouth opened to mine and I swept my tongue against his, tangling and sliding together, and it only made me want more.
I silently thanked George for the well-timed breath mints.
Anxiety moved away from me like heavy clouds parting to show the sunshine and I drank him in, his taste, his scent, the feel of his body against me. Strong arms, a firm chest, his heart pounding against my silent one. I took that heartbeat and concentrated on it, tasting it as I tasted him, and it filled me with a deep aching need.
“I want you, Thierry,” I whispered.
“This is not the time,” he said, but his body didn’t seem to agree. He wanted me, too.
Hard to hide something like that.
I smiled inwardly and shut off any more protests with another kiss he didn’t resist at all.
His hands dropped down to the small of my back as he pulled me tighter against him.
However, he did jump a little when I bit his tongue and tasted his blood. The world around me—it really didn’t exist anymore as far as I was concerned—had faded and fogged and grown warmer with every moment that passed. I sucked on his tongue and he let out a deep groan of desire from the back of his throat.
I bit my own tongue so he could taste my blood as well, and as he did, his breathing increased.
He’d been able to stop last night when he’d drunk some of my blood. He’d been practicing his restraint, but this was still a dangerous scenario I was in. Playing with fire.
Big no-no.
If that was so, then what in the hell did I think was I doing?
Ah, but that’s the problem. I wasn’t doing it anymore. My nightwalker had been so sneaky
I hadn’t even felt her creep up behind my subconscious to take me over. She welcomed
Thierry’s addiction, she nourished it, she wanted to feed it, groom it, and pet it. She liked pushing him over the edge. She found him much more interesting when he was out of control.
I worked my cool hands up the front of his black shirt to touch his hot skin, feeling his fast heartbeat against my flattened palms. I slid my hands down his abdomen.
“Please,” he groaned, and I wasn’t sure if it was a “please stop” or a “please don’t stop.”
Probably a mixture of the two.
Nice.
“Do you want me?” I asked in a low, throaty voice that sounded very unlike the real me.
“Yes,” he hissed.
He pulled back just enough to show that his eyes had turned to black. Just like mine were—as a quick glance at my shard confirmed. I pulled the hair off the side of my neck, baring it to him. He lowered his mouth to me and slid his tongue up the length of my throat. I shivered at the wet warmth left behind and it made things low in my body wake up.
“What are you doing to me?” he said. “I can’t control this. Don’t make me do this to you.”
I wasn’t making him. It wasn’t as if I had any mind control over other vampires as a nightwalker, like what Amy called my “thrall” over weak-minded humans.
Amy.
I pushed the distant thought of a friend in need away, concentrating only on the feel of
Thierry’s mouth as he tasted me—his fangs grazing my neck but not quite piercing the skin. He was fighting for control. The memory of almost draining me that night not so long ago was probably still very vivid for him.
At the moment all I wanted was to make him bite me again. Why did I have to be alone? I could still be with Thierry. If he embraced his monster while I embraced mine…
Then nothing else mattered.
My nightwalker thrilled to that idea, but there was a small piece of me that disagreed—the weak and dying part of Sarah Dearly who wanted to stop this before it was too late.