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Off the coast of Scotland, the day before the Lusitania left port, one of the Kaiser’s submarines sent a British coal-carrying steamer to the ocean’s floor. In the Dardanelles, fierce fighting was afoot; and Britain and her allies were bombing German towns while warships attacked U-boat bases. And yet the passengers aboard the Lusitania — my innocent self included-seemed to feel immune from the conflict.
Even with the journalistic espionage I intended to carry out, I found myself lulled into peacetime complacency by the Big Lucy’s lavishness. Despite my criticism of its unlovely top-heavy exterior, I could only applaud the elegance of the ship’s internal beauty, from public rooms to accommodations; I had travelled numerous times on so-called luxury liners, but truly Cunard had set the standard with the Lusitania (and, presumably, with her sister, Mauretania).
This was obvious from the moment I boarded through the first-class entrance on the Main Deck. The entryway area-where a flock of ship’s crew (stewards overseen by a purser’s clerk) checked names off a list, dispensed room keys and gave directions-had a light, airy feel. The floor was tile, white with black diamond shapes, the furnishings white wicker, the woodwork a blazing white with golden touches, and scarlet brocade-upholstered settees were built into the walls. Potted ferns shared space with floral arrangements; there were so many flowers aboard the ship, the sweetness in the air was almost overpowering, like the visitation area of a funeral home whose current attraction was a popular fellow indeed.
As we all waited our turn with the stewards and purser’s clerk, the only annoyance was an overabundance of children, not all of whom were well-behaved, despite the best efforts of nannies; tiny shod feet echoed off the tile floor like gunfire, shrill little voices tearing the air. Oh well-this was to be expected. Cunard’s advertising bragged of the safety the Big Lucy provided mothers and children.*
“I wouldn’t worry, if I were you,” a rich alto voice almost whispered in my ear.
I looked to my left, where that tall hatless blonde female in the tan cotton pongee, Madame DePage’s friend, stood next to me. At the moment, her strong, handsome face tweaked itself with a smile, and her blue eyes had a twinkle; tendrils of her piled-high hair seemed to have a mocking life of their own. While no physical giant, I am certainly not a small man, and it was startling to look directly into the eyes of a woman on my own level.
“Pardon me?” I said.
“The kiddies,” she said, a corner of her mouth turned up, in sweet irony. “The ship provides numerous playrooms and nurseries. . In the days to come, you’ll be little troubled by having them underfoot.”
I could only return the smile. “Am I really that easily read?”
She gave me a tiny shrug. “Most people’s features are a map of their inner thoughts.”
“And I’m one of those?”
“Perhaps.”
I gave her half a bow. “S.S. Van Dine, madam. Who do I have the honor of providing me with this minor humiliation?”
She gave me her hand, and my fingertips touched hers. “Philomina Vance,” she said. “May I ask what the ‘S.S.’ stands for? You don’t look terribly like a steamship.”
“That at least is a relief. It’s, uh, Samuel.”
“Is that the first ‘S’ or the second?”
“Well, uh, it’s the, uh, first, of course. The other ‘S’ is quite unimportant.”
Another shrug. “Well, I’m going to call you Van.”
“You have my consent. And I will call you Miss Vance.”
“Anything but Philomina.” She flashed another smile, no irony at all now-but the eyes still twinkled. “You know, Van, I think we’re going to be great friends.”
“Really? And why is that?”
“Any man with the nerve to wear that Kaiser Bill beard in these times is either extremely foolish or enormously self-confident. And I like self-confidence.”
“But what if I prove a fool?”
“Oh, I like a good laugh, too. Either way, I should come out swimmingly.”
Then we reached the stewards, and went our separate ways. It took her rather longer to go through the rigmarole than I, because she seemed to be doing it for Madame DePage, as well as herself-though, strangely, the lovely and mysterious Madame DePage was nowhere to be seen.
Wearing their ornate grillwork doors like family crests, a pair of elevators-that is “lifts,” this was a British ship, after all-awaited to take Saloon passengers to Decks A and B, and their accommodations.* Since few people travelled alone on a transatlantic voyage, most of the cabins were designed for two or more occupants; but one of the handful of single cabins had been thoughtfully booked for me by my employer, Mr. Rumely. My cabin was on B Deck, on the portside of the ship, and the lift brought me to the deck’s entrance hall, where additional elegance awaited-white woodwork, Corinthian columns, black grillwork, wall-to-wall carpeting, damask sofas, more potted plants, further flowers. Offices opposite the lift curved around a funnel shaft.
Sun was filtering in through windows and down the stairwell, as I took a left off the lift past the wide companionway (as shipboard stairways insisted on being called) and then a right down the portside corridor, which bustled with other guests finding their bearings, often aided by bellboys in gold-braided beige uniforms. Moving past doors of various cabins on my right, and two expansive suites of rooms on my left, I found my cabin perhaps halfway down the corridor, at the juncture of a short hallway to my left, a single window at its dead end sending mote-floating sunlight my direction.
The cabin was on the corner of the corridor and the small hallway, and was a palatial cubbyhole without, unfortunately, a view onto the sea. What it did have was rather amazing, considering the limitations of space: a wrought-iron single bed, a washstand with hot and cold running water, off-white woodwork, electric lighting, a wardrobe and a bureau with mirror-better appointed, by far, than my Lexington Street apartment, and heaven compared to that boardinghouse room in the Bronx.
As there was no closet, I transferred the contents of my suitcase into the bureau drawers, and slid the empty bag under my bed. I was sitting on the bed, wondering when we’d be leaving port, when a gong clanged, making me jump-first of the “All Ashore” signals. I checked my pocket watch: half past eleven.
Even a man of sophistication can enjoy the simple pleasures of the spectacle of a great liner shoving off, so I made my way to the portside of the Boat Deck. In the corridor, the aftermath of good-bye parties coming to a close was evidenced by people hugging and kissing, those leaving expressing a wish to be going along, even as the “All Ashore” gongs continued to reverberate. The aroma of food being cooked announced in its unique way that the voyage was about to begin: The first meal was in preparation.
On deck, passengers were lining the rail, and I found a place for myself just beyond the first-class promenade with its hanging lifeboats, toward the bow of the ship-the area called the forecastle, from which the bridge could be made out easily. So could the sight of visitors streaming down the gangways; why did the image of rats abandoning a sinking ship pop into my mind? Far too trite a thought even to have.
Deckhands who had traded in their crisp white sport jackets for turtleneck sweaters and heavy, seaworthy windbreakers, performed a thousand small tasks beyond the average passenger’s comprehension; this whirl of activity, more than anything else, announced that the great ship was coming to life.
Cargo hatches were battened, and bells rang out as officers rushed up gangways with last-minute paperwork in hand, bills of lading and cargo consignments and such. The pilot’s H flag was hoisted from the halyard of the signal bridge, and on the narrow stern of the control bridge the American flag flapped, while upright streamers of myriad other flags ran up and down the fore and aft masts, lending a gay ambience worthy of a cruise ship. Less festive, even ominous, was the black smoke belching from the fat exclamation points of the black-painted funnels.
After the floral fragrance of the public areas of the Big Lucy, the deck presented olfactory reminders that this was, indeed, a ship. In addition to the coal smoke, engine oil and grease smells, and the pungent whiff of tarred decking and the nastily mysterious odors emanating from scuppers and bilges, the bouquet of salty sea air provided an ever-present reminder that this was-despite the Cunard line’s best efforts-a steamer, not a luxury hotel.
On the dockside sightseers and friends seeing off passengers threw confetti, and waved hats, hankies, miniature American flags and, when all else failed, their hands. I did not wave back: I didn’t know any of them, and Rumely had long since disappeared back into the reality of Manhattan.
“You really are a grouch,” an already familiar alto voice said, next to me.
I couldn’t suppress the smile as I turned to her, those loose tendrils flying like little blonde flags of her own in the breeze.
“Just because I don’t behave like a schoolboy,” I said, “waving at a bunch of strangers, doesn’t make me a grouch.”
“No. I am sure there are other factors.”
I laughed, once. “Miss Vance, are you following me?”
“Why, do you mind?”
“No,” I said forwardly. “The sooner a shipboard romance begins, the better, I always say.”
She arched a brow; her eyes were an impossible light blue, eyes you could gaze straight through to the core of her. . a core consumed, at the moment, with mocking me. “Is that what you think this is? The beginnings of a romance?”
I shrugged. “We only have a week. And, after all, you like my beard.”
She raised a finger. “No-I said I liked the self-confidence it indicated-that you’re a man who goes his own way. If I could have my way with you, I’d cut that beard off.”
“If I could have my way with you, I’d let you.”
She did not blush, but she did turn away so I would not see just how broad her smile was. And when she turned back to me, the smile had lessened but was very much still there. “You are a rogue, Mr. Van Dine.”
“I thought you were going to call me Van.”
“I should call you a horse’s S.S.”
And I laughed again-more than once. “I like you, Vance.”
“No ‘Miss’?”
“I don’t think so. Whether a shipboard romance develops or not, I believe you were right the first time.”
“How’s that?”
I half-bowed. “We are going to be great friends.”
Below, burly stevedores were hauling the creaking gangplanks onto the pier, really putting their elbow grease into it. Hawsers thick as a stevedore’s arm were cast loose from bollards, splashing into the slip’s scummy waters before the sailors drew the ropes up onto the decks.
Leaning on the rail, I asked her, “May I inquire what’s become of your companion, Madame DePage? I gather you’re travelling together.”
She nodded past me, looking up, and I followed her eyes to the bridge; on the deck beneath the row of windows, Captain Turner-all arrayed in his gold-braided finery, looking rather more distinguished in his commodore’s cap than he had in his bowler at Luchow’s-was holding court with five of his most distinguished first-class passengers.
Gathered about him in a semicircle were Miss Vance’s companion, Madame DePage, impresario Frohman, the “Champagne King” Kessler, and the richest man on any ship, Vanderbilt, as well as his lanky dark-haired friend, whose name I had not yet ascertained. The group consisted of every illustrious passenger who had received one of those mysterious telegrams-with the exception of the homespun Elbert Hubbard.
Miss Vance gave me a look that I understood at once to mean we should move closer, which we did, until we were near enough to overhear Turner’s remarks to his guests.
But it was Frohman who was speaking at the moment, the half-crippled producer leaning on his cane with seemingly all of his weight. “Tell me, Alfred-is it true you cancelled your passage on the Titanic the night before she sailed?”
The frog-like Broadway czar’s tone was genial enough, but the question had a certain edge.
Vanderbilt, with the face of a somewhat dissipated boy under that jaunty cap, said, “It’s true-I had a feeling about it.”
Kessler asked, “Any premonitions this time?”
The multimillionaire shrugged, and the crusty captain put a hand on Vanderbilt’s shoulder, and gestured down toward where Miss Vance and I stood. . but he was really invoking the swarm of passengers clustered along the rail. He said, in a blustering way (which was easier for Miss Vance and me to hear than the previous exchange), “Do you honestly think all these people would have booked passage on the Lusitania if they thought they could be caught by a German submarine?* Why, that’s the best joke I’ve heard all year, this talk of torpedoing!”
Captain Turner laughed, and so did Vanderbilt. I exchanged glances with Miss Vance-neither of us was smiling, much less laughing.
The same could be said for Madame DePage, who-in a musical voice touched with that accent shared by France and her native Belgium, so fetching in a woman, so obnoxious in a man-said, “I do not find this war a subject fit for the. . joking.”
The smiles vanished from the faces of Vanderbilt and Captain Turner, both men apologizing.
“I am concerned not for me myself,” Madame DePage said, her pretty dimpled chin lifted, “but for the wounded in this tragic atrocity.” The latter word, divided by her accent into four lilting syllables, had a poetry at odds with its meaning. “If this ship, she goes down, t’ousands will suffer in hospital.”
Madame DePage was referring to the $150,000 she had raised; this implied the cash was on board with her-a dangerous state of affairs even in peacetime.
“I have to say I share madame’s concern,” Vanderbilt’s slender friend said. “These warning telegrams are most alarming.”
I had thought that was the reason for this little gathering-for the captain to reassure his guests. But he was a ham-handed old salt, wretchedly awkward with people.
Still, he tried his best: “Mr. Williamson, I’m sure, when we trace them, these messages will be the work of some publicity hound. Please. . my friends. . think nothing of these things.”
The captain was gesturing with one of the telegrams.
Vanderbilt said, “I’m sure it’s just someone’s idea of humor. A tasteless joke.”
“Germany could concentrate her entire fleet of subs on this ship,” Turner blustered (this seemed a strange thing to say, by way of reassurance), “and we would elude them.”
“That’s quite a statement, Captain,” Frohman said.
“I have never heard of the sub that can make twenty-seven knots-and we can.”
“Flying that American flag will help,” said Vanderbilt’s friend, whose name apparently was Williamson.
Since America was not at war with Germany-and with the Lusitania repainted as she was-hiding behind the Stars and Stripes seemed a good way to deceive a U-boat commander. But it had been tried before, and the White House had complained to Cunard.
Turner did not respond to Williamson’s remark, and merely patted backs and gave out assurances that the warning telegrams were of no import, easing the group off the small raised deck with invitations to join him at his table for meals, if they liked.
“Someone was missing from that little gathering,” I said.
“I know,” Miss Vance said.
I arched an eyebrow at her. “Really? And who do you assume that person to be?”
Matter-of-factly, she replied, “Elbert Hubbard. He received one of those warning telegrams, as well.”
“Is that what they were referring to? Warnings they received?”
Miss Vance informed me coolly that Madame DePage had received a telegram warning her that the ship would be torpedoed-signed “Morte,” death.
I shrugged. “Perhaps the Sage of East Aurora didn’t receive a warning-perhaps a legitimate telegram came in to him at the same time these warnings arrived for the others.”
She shook her head. “I doubt that-not when he reacted to it in such disgust. He crumpled it and tossed it to the ground, you know.”
“Is that right? Well, again, perhaps its contents were displeasing to him without it having been one of these warnings. Perhaps someone wired Hubbard to inform him of what a complete nincompoop he is.”
She smiled a little. “I think he’s a great man.”
“You do not.”
“Well. . a good man. A well-intentioned man.”
“That’s something wholly other than ‘great.’ ”
Now she shrugged. “Well, I suppose we’ll never know what was in that telegram Mr. Hubbard received.”
“I suppose not.”
“Not unless you share it with me, Van.” She smiled at me, the eyes atwinkle again. “After all, you did pick it up.”
I would not like to know what my expression looked like: Surely my mouth was agape and my eyes were wide and I appeared more the fool than a self-confident man. I realized that my masculine charms had not inspired this fetching wench to seek out my friendship, after all-she had seen me pick up the discarded telegram, open and look at it, and had sought me out, in her wily surreptitious female manner. I was beginning to suspect she was a damn suffragette.
“Could I see it?” she asked sweetly.
“See what?” I asked, but my bantering was limp. I took the telegram from my suitcoat pocket and handed it to her.
“So Hubbard was warned, too,” she said, studying the crumpled paper.
“Why, are you a detective?”
Both eyebrows climbed her fine forehead and she asked innocently, “Do I look like a detective?”
“No. . but then, I don’t believe I look like a fool, yet apparently I am one. And here I thought you wanted to be my great good friend.”
“I do,” she said nicely, apparently genuine, as she handed back the telegram. “Van, I’m just a good friend of Madame DePage, accompanying her, looking out after her interests.”
A low hum began to emanate from deep within the ship, growing into a muffled roar; the ship’s four steam turbines began their rotation, and giant propeller blades made a muddy froth of the Hudson River.
I glanced at my pocket watch: twelve-thirty. All delays, all doubts, all fears be damned-we were finally pulling away, as the Big Lucy gave off three throaty blasts from her mighty bass horn.
“Shall we have lunch,” I asked, putting away my watch, “and discuss this further?”
But she was gone-Philomina Vance had disappeared into the crowd on deck.
And I stood there alone, strangely sad as the big ship-like a massive building pulling away from its foundations-groaned away from the dock. A brass band on deck was playing one song (“It’s a Long Way to Tipperary”), the band on the pier another (“God Be With You Till We Meet Again”), and somewhere a chorus was singing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Shouts of farewell tried to climb over that cacophony only to be drowned out by the bellow of steam whistles.
Soon a trio of tugboats puffed up to the much larger vessel to nudge and cajole her bow, easing her around till she was pointing downstream. It didn’t take long for the faces on the dock to turn indistinguishable, and finally even the skyline of Manhattan was just a blur of brick.
“Would you like to have lunch with me?” that delightful alto intoned.
I turned toward the sound, hopefully, but tried not to show eagerness; she was again at my side, not a hint of guile in those clear blue eyes.
I said, “If you’re not a detective, you must be a magician.”
She smiled gloriously. “And why is that, Mr. Van Dine?”
“Because of these vanishing acts you pull off.”
She shrugged and offered me her arm. “You’ll just have to hold on to me, then.”
That sounded wonderful.
And I took her arm, like the fool I am, and went off for lunch with her, convinced no more ulterior motives lurked within that pretty blonde hatless head.
If I were a lesser writer, I would at this point say: little did I know. .
But of course, we all know I’m above such things.