From Dawber's Secret Book of Bridelow (unpublished):
The oldest woman in Bridelow commands, as you would expect, considerable respect, as well as a certain affection.
Ma Wagstaff? No, I am afraid I refer to Our Sheila who displays her all above the church porch.
The so-called Sheelagh na gig (the spelling varies) is found – inexplicably – in the fabric of ancient churches throughout the British Isles: a survival of an older religion, some say, or a warning against heathen excess. Usually it is lazily dismissed as 'some sort of fertility symbol'.
The shapes and sizes vary, but the image is the same: a female shamelessly exposing her most private parts. Pornography, I am glad to say, it isn't. The faces of these ancient icons are normally grotesque in the extreme, their bodies compressed and ludicrous.
Our Sheila, however, is a merry lass with an almost discernible glint in her bulging stone eyes and a grin which is more innocent than lewd.
Do not dismiss her as a mere 'fertility symbol'. She has much to say about the true nature of Bridelow.