I was as excited as a kid. Amazing how quickly and thoroughly that feeling of attraction to a new person of the opposite sex, when its possibly reciprocated, can change your perspective and priorities. Claudia Vardon would be back at my house at 7 p.m. and Id be ready. Barry White, Peggy Hawkins and the others in the cast of characters associated with the Beckett case all took two places to the rear. I was about to launch into a house-tidying, a bed-changing and buying some supplies when I remembered the appointment at Redfern station. The last thing I needed was a copper arriving on the doorstep that evening to conduct me to the lockup. I carefully hung the suit on a hanger, smoothed out the tie, checked that I had a clean shirt and socks and went off to Redfern in my more usual uniform of drill trousers, open-neck shirt and battered linen jacket.
Detective Sergeant Jack Fowler had evidently done a bit of checking up on me and was puzzled by the results. I was a long-term PEA and a mate of a well-placed senior cop and yet had recently served a prison sentence and been de-licensed for a period. Will the real Cliff Hardy please stand up? He conducted me to a room which wasnt as rough as the ones where they put the frighteners on the junkies nor as pleasant as where they interview child-molesting clergymen.
Wed like to know more about your association with White, he said.
Sorry. Professional matter. Confidential.
You cant run that line.
Im doing it. Look, all I can say is that the matter relates to events a good many years ago. Before you left school, Detective Sergeant. I have no reason to think Whites death is connected to what we were discussing.
Discussing?
Thats as far as it got.
You say youd arranged to meet him at the house.
Thats right.
Some of the blokes there say you seemed agitated.
I knew that was a lie. The men who saw me arrive didnt register anything. Im a busy man.
There was hardly a scrap of paper in the joint. No wallet, no TAB tickets, fuck-all
I shrugged. Your blokes patted me down. I didnt take a thing. Id say that points to Barrys past history catching up with him. Someone cleaned up everything. What kind of gun was used?
He looked at me, trying to gauge my honesty, sincerity, duplicity, but Id been at this game longer than him and he gave it up. He took five sheets of printout from a folder and pushed them across the table. Sign it and you can go. You dont seem too cut up about losing your client.
I hadnt brought a pen. I borrowed his blue ballpoint with a chewed end, read through the statement and signed at the foot of each page near the crosses. In the private sector, you learn to live with these disappointments. I hope you find out who did it. Any leads?
He took back the sheets. Piss off, he said.
Back home the red light on the answering machine was blinking reproachfully. I ignored it and set about putting the house in better order. I ran the gutless vacuum cleaner over the carpets, cleaned the bathroom and toilet and put out some fresh towels. I changed the sheets on the bed and three of the four pillow slips. I emptied the waste-paper baskets and the kitchen tidy and sprayed air freshener around where the air didnt smell fresh.
I wiped down the sink and bench tops, thought about pinching some flowers from other peoples front gardens and decided against it. I ran a squeegee over the kitchen lino and took a few swipes at the coffee pot with steel wool. Id bought wine and Scotch, biscuits and cheese, coffee and milk on the way home. Also mineral water, soap and shampoo and a packet of Trojan lubricated condoms. Be prepared.
I showered, shampooed and shaved as closely as my old electric Philishave would let me. I looked at myself in the mirrorthe lines around the eyes are there for all time and getting deeper; the cheeks have long, parallel grooves in them where the dimples used to be. The only thing you could call an improvement is in the teeth which have brightened up since I stopped smoking and look better since I had the old decayed fillings replaced by ceramic stuff. Expensive but necessary. You fool, I thought. Shell probably make a rock-bottom offer on the house and head for home when you turn it down.
At seven-fifteen Claudia Vardon, wearing a blue silk dress and a white jacket, arrived at my door. An hour later the jacket was on the back of a chair at the Flavour of India restaurant in Glebe Point Road and we were looking at the menu and drinking Wolf Blass chablis. Two hours after that she took off the blue dress and her black underwear and lay down on my bed. Half an hour after that, give or take a few minutes, we were lying under the covers with sweat drying on us and our bodies still locked together and our hands still wandering.
Jesus, she said. I can still feel you in there.
I pressed close to her and felt her muscles grip and hold me. Im staying, too.
Can you come again?
I think so.
Go on, then, Cliff. Please go on. Its lovely.
We did it again, less athletically but with more skill. I came in a long, almost painful shudder and didnt mind a bit when her fingernails sank into my shoulders.
You didnt, I said when Id recovered.
No. Catch you next time. Lovely, though. Lovely.
I eased myself out of her and she put her hand down as I did, controlling the withdrawal. Easy, boy, she said. Dont want any leaking. Let me do it.
She rolled the condom off, reached for a couple of tissues, wrapped it up and dropped it on the floor. She brushed her hands together.
Thats it for those little Cliffords. Are there any little Cliffords or Cliffordettes by the way?
No, I said. What about you?
Uh uh, left it till late in the piece and then I met Mr Wrong.
What would you like to drink?
She moved away and slid out of the bed. A big glass of mineral water would be good, with lots of ice and just a little bit of wine. After I have a piss.
I watched her as she headed for the bathroom. In the half-light her body looked dark and strong. Her waist was a bit thicker and her buttocks and hips fuller than current fashion dictated, but that meant nothing to me. I remembered the weight of her full breasts in my hand and the slight swell of her belly and felt myself getting hard again. I jumped up, wrapped a length of trade cloth brought back from New Guinea many years ago around me and went down to get the drinks. Her recipe sounded pretty good to me and I filled two schooners, but I had a decent swig of the wine as well, just for luck.
Dyou like being a private detective? she said when I got back into bed.
I drank deeply. Her hand moved under the covers on to my thigh. Instantly, I forgot what shed said a mere second ago. What?
She laughed and took her hand away. Cant talk and get erect at the same time.
Try it again. Her hand returned and stroked up towards my groin. Mostly I like it, I said. Not as much as that, though.
Concentrate. Compartmentalise. Do you make a lot of money?
Thats easy. In a word, no.
Thats smart. Keep your responses short and youll do fine.
I could turn the tables.
Why dont you?
Things went on from there very pleasurably. We drank our mineral water and eventually fell asleep. Normally, I sleep deeply for the first few hours, then I get restless and often wake up and read for a while, fending off worries about money or what Im working on at the time or deeper questions. The reading does the job, and I can mostly get back into a light sleep for a few hours. This night, despite its unusual features, was no different. I found myself awake at about 4 a.m., lying on my side with Claudias arm across my waist. I was cramped and uncomfortable with a slight case of what used to be called shaggers back. It had been a while since Id exercised those particular muscles, and a long time since Id exercised them so thoroughly. She muttered something that might have been gibberish or in one of the many foreign languages I dont understand as she rolled into a new position.
I didnt want to read or to get up to drink water or piss or do anything, I was happy just to lie there with the warmth of her next to me. The street light is almost immediately outside the house and it penetrated the rice-paper blinds to some extent. The room wasnt in total darkness and I was able to examine Claudias hair, spread out on the pillow beside me. It was thick and lustrous and quite white. As far as I could tell, it was the same colour from the tips to the roots. Curious.
She muttered again. The sheet fell away and I lifted it back to cover her smooth, brown shoulder. The softness of her skin was a delight and I found myself wanting to stroke her all over. I made do with kissing the shoulder. Her presence soothed and comforted me and I slid back into sleep without a thought of poor, dead Barry White or Max Savage or any of the rest of it.
You havent made me an offer on the house, I said as Claudia and I drank coffee and ate toast in the courtyard.
She shook her head and the white hair flew. She was wearing just her blue lace petticoat with the white silk jacket over it and I was having difficulty keeping my eyes away from her breasts and legs. Like I said, youll never leave unless they decide to put a freeway, or a bridge approach through it.
Ive thought about Bondi.
Youre not the Eastern Suburbs type. Too rugged.
So whatre you going to do, Claudia?
She took a good bite of toast and chewed enthusiastically. Keep looking for a house. Keep thinking about going back to work. How come you havent got a lawyer?
I told her about Cy and what had happened and she made sympathetic noises. She hadnt heard about it although it had made a big splash in the papers because shed been overseas for most of the year, recovering from the break-up with her husband.
So is Vardon the maiden or married name?
Detecting, are we?
Shit, sorry, no. I just
Its OK. Im a bit defensive, thats all. Vardons his name. Im going back to my name as soon as the settlements through.
Which was a way of saying dont ask too many questions. Glen Withers had said I exhausted her with questions and that Id found out too much about her too soon. Left nothing to be surprised about and that was part of the trouble. I didnt believe it, but here was a chance to play it another way. I got on with eating toast and drinking coffee and let the moment pass, although it was hard to do. I wanted to ask where she grew up, what her husband did, about the white hair… Maybe Glen had had a point.
She finished eating and carefully brushed the crumbs from her plate into a pile on top of where the bricks are built up around the grapefruit tree so the birds could get them. Youve gone quiet, she said.
Just keeping myself from being nosy. Ive got to work today. Is it too pushy to ask if I can see you again tonight? I really want to.
She got up from the plastic chair and squatted down in front of me. Her breasts were loose and heavy under the petticoat and I put my hands down and held them. Her face came up and we kissed hard.
I like you more than your house, she said. But Im glad I stopped to take a look at it. Of course I want to see you, but you have to understand that Im coming off a bad time, a couple of bad times. I dont trust my judgment.
Claudia, I…
Ssh. Dont come over all masterful. Men have to learn to let things happen. Now, you stay here and finish your coffee. Thank for a terrific night. Im going to have a shower and then Ill go. Ill take down your phone number and Ill ring you soon. OK.
It wasnt, but what could I do. Protest? Sulk? Reluctantly, I took my hands from her breasts. OK, I said.