Phoebe’s departure for Los Angeles had hit Lauren hard. While she knew there were other factors, she feared that her flippant comment at the Chilton cocktail party had encouraged Phoebe to leave town. Lauren kept playing that conversation over and over in her mind, wishing she could somehow change it. But no matter what she said to her friend, Phoebe was certain that a break from New York was what she needed.
And maybe the trip would be good for her. Lauren really didn’t know what was best for her friend.
When spring break started, Lauren’s little sister, Allison, had returned home from boarding school in Connecticut, filled with stories about school that she wanted to tell her older sister. When Lauren let her know that she would be leaving for Paris in just under week, Allison didn’t hide her disappointment.
It was only then that Lauren realized how little time she had spent with her family lately. Her mother, Diana, had been working overtime on the Chilton apartment project. Lauren wondered if they would miss some of the springtime rituals they had enjoyed in years past: taking walks down Park Avenue and admiring the first tulip blooms, strolling through Central Park and watching the first boats go out on the freshly thawed pond.
A day after her sister arrived home, Lauren took the subway down to Giroux New York. Sebastian was on the sales floor and had just finished conferring with Sabrina about a floor display.
“Can I talk to you?” Lauren asked. Her mouth had gone dry. She and Sebastian had become so familiar in recent months, and now he already felt like a stranger.
“Of course,” he said. “Come with me. How’s my favorite designer? Are you packing for Paris?”
Lauren took a deep breath. His charm was making this difficult. “Sebastian,” she finally said, “I can’t go on the trip.”
“No-Lauren! You must! You’d be missing such an opportunity.”
“I understand that,” Lauren said calmly. “I just-”
They entered his office, and she sat down. Sebastian looked at her sternly over his desk that was strewn with papers and sketches.
“The Colette people will be so disappointed. Can I ask why? Did something happen?”
“Sort of,” she said. “I just feel like I need to focus on my schoolwork.” It was a weak excuse, but she didn’t know how to voice her real feelings.
“But, Lauren, my dear, you’re already on break,” Sebastian said. “What kind of schoolwork would you possibly have?”
“It’s not only that. I need to start feeling like a real person again,” Lauren said. “People my age don’t fly to Paris to launch a jewelry line. I don’t need all the stress in my life. I thought that I wanted it, but I don’t. I know that I can do it, and I have the rest of my life to try, but I’m never going to get this time back again.”
“Lauren, you’re losing out on a tremendous chance. Don’t you realize what other people would give to be able to do this?”
“Yes,” Lauren said, nodding. “I do.” That was exactly the point: she knew what she had needed to give up.
“The buyers at Colette were so pleased with your designs. But I can’t guarantee that they’ll be so happy if they know that you can’t attend the unveiling.”
“I guess that’s a risk I’m going to have to take,” Lauren said. “I’ll pay for the airline ticket, if it’s not refundable. It’s the right thing to do.” She thought about how Thad wouldn’t be able to go, either. But he would understand. As long as she was tied up with Giroux New York and with Sebastian, she would be connected to the Society. As much as she tried to pretend that wasn’t the case, she couldn’t deny it.
“It’s not about money!” Sebastian said. “It’s about the experience. What about the rest of the line?”
“That’s another thing,” Lauren said. “I love doing the line. I really do. But I need to take a break. The work doesn’t feel original anymore, not to me. It’s inspired by earlier pieces, tweaked with my own touches. That may sell because people like it, but that’s not what I want to be doing.”
Sebastian was silent for a moment. “Well, this is certainly unexpected. I had no idea. I don’t really have a choice except to drop the line.”
Lauren nodded. “I understand.”
Sebastian buzzed Sabrina on the intercom, asking her to come to his office.
“Lauren, we’re going to have to ask you to clear out your office,” he said. “We’ll have a town car waiting. I’ll be in touch with our legal team tomorrow so that we can sever the relationship.”
“Thank you, Sebastian,” she said.
An hour later, she walked out of the building on 14th Street, followed by two security guards carrying boxes filled with her sketches, notebooks, and personal effects.
In the fashion world, she may have lost everything, but at that moment, she had never felt more free.