THE PEOPLE crowding the hall and the back door had not seen her dancing or what happened at the bar, but Pike pulled her directly to the car. She got in without a word. He backed out of the alley fast, then jammed it for Sunset, all the while deciding what to do about the cousins, and whether or not they should go back to the house. Pike was angry, but anger would only get in the way. His job was to keep her alive. He didn’t speak until they were two blocks away.
“Did you tell them who you are?”
“No.”
“What did you tell them?”
“Mona.”
“What?”
“My name. They had to call me something. I told them Mona.”
Pike kept watch in the mirror, checking to see if they were being followed.
“Did anyone recognize you?”
“I don’t-how would I know?”
“The way someone looked at you. Someone might have said something.”
“No.”
“The questions they asked. A comment.”
“Just dancing. They asked if I dance. They asked what movies I like. Stuff.”
They were four blocks away when Pike pulled to the curb outside a liquor store. He cupped her jaw in his hand and tipped her face toward the oncoming headlights.
“Are you drunk?”
“I told you I don’t drink. I’m sober a year.”
“High?”
“A year.”
He studied the play of light in her eyes and decided she was telling the truth. He let go, but she grabbed his hand and kept it to her face. He tugged but she held tight, and he didn’t want to hurt her.
She said, “Take off those stupid glasses. Do you know how creepy this is, you with the glasses? Nobody wears sunglasses at night. Let me see. You looked at my eyes, let me see yours.”
She had wanted to see his eyes up in the desert when they met. She had been all attitude then, but now she was angry and frightened.
Pike said, “They’re just eyes.”
He opened her fingers and took back his hand. Gently, so he would not hurt her. Not like with the man at the bar.
“What you did could get us both killed. Do you want to die? Is that what you’re doing?”
“That’s stupid-”
“Tell me what you want to do. You want to go home, I’ll take you home. You want to live, I will end this.”
“I didn’t-”
Pike clamped both her hands in his.
“I will sell my life dear, but not for a suicide. I will not waste my life.”
She stared for a moment as if she was confused.
“I’m not asking you to-”
Pike gripped her hands harder and cut her off again.
“If you want to go home, let’s go. If you want to die, go home, then die, because I will not allow it.”
Maybe he squeezed too hard. His hands were gristle and bone and calloused, and he was strong. Her chin dimpled and her eyes filled with tears.
“All I was doing was driving my car!”
Pike slapped the steering wheel.
“This wheel, it doesn’t care. The air we’re breathing, doesn’t care. Suck it up-”
“You’re an asshole!”
“Do you want to live or go dancing? I can have you home in twenty minutes.”
“You don’t know what it’s like being me!”
“You don’t know what it’s like being me.”
Headlights and taillights played on her, moving the way light plays in water; yellow and green and blue lights on the shops and signs around them painted her with a confusion of moving color. She didn’t speak, and didn’t seem able to speak.
Pike softened his voice.
“Tell me you want to live.”
“I want to live.”
“Say it again.”
“I want to live!”
Pike let go of her hands, but she still didn’t move. He straightened behind the wheel.
“We’re not so different.”
The girl burst out laughing.
“Ohmigod! Oh my God- dude! Maybe you’re high!”
Pike put the car in gear, but kept his foot on the brake. Their sameness seemed obvious.
“You want to be seen; me, I want to be invisible. It’s all the same.”
The girl stared at him, then straightened herself the way he had straightened himself.
She said, “An idealist.”
Pike didn’t know what she was saying, so he shook his head.
She said, “Your friend. Elvis. He said you’re an idealist.”
Pike pulled out into traffic.
“He thinks he’s funny.”
She started to say something but fell silent the way people are silent when they think. They drove back to the house in that silence, but once, just the once, she reached out and squeezed his arm, and once, just the once, he patted her hand.