As the weeks passed, Evie found great joy in caring for Dalton. Nevertheless, she felt a growing emptiness inside. Thomas rarely spoke to her. In fact, he was often gone from home for weeks at a time. She had no idea if he was caught up in his business affairs or if he'd taken a mistress. Added to that was Marston's decree that she allow no one to know about Dalton. He promised a better explanation as time went on but insisted she trust him for the time being. It seemed senseless but Evie complied, knowing that if she didn't, Marston would take Dalton away from her. Her misery only mounted as the weather warmed, however. She would have loved to have taken long walks with the baby, even to share the company of her shallow friends. Instead, she was nearly a prisoner in the house. It wasn't that she couldn't leave the baby and go out, but frankly, Evie worried that she might say something that would reveal the truth of the child's existence.
Evie couldn't shake the sense that there was something underhanded in the way her brother demanded she keep the baby out of sight. She'd tried to approach Thomas about it on the rare occasions he was home, but he wanted no part of it. "This is a problem within your family; let your brothers handle it."
She walked toward a thick arrangement of climbing roses and noted that there were already buds. Soon the plant would spill glorious blossoms in abundance. Gently, she fingered one of the flowers and sighed.
"You've gone out of your way to avoid me, and I can't help but wonder why"
Evie looked up to find Trayton Payne had followed her into the gardens. She moved away. "Please leave me alone."
"Evie, we need to talk."
He called her by her family's nickname, and it irritated her that he presumed upon such an intimacy. "Don't call me that." She walked away at a fast clip. He followed her deeper into the elaborately landscaped lawn.
She finally stopped under the cover of several large oak trees. "What do you want?"
"I think you know the answer to that."
Shaking her head, Evie decided to he blunt. "I know about the arrangement you had with my husband. I'm not interested."
Trayton was unmoved by her declaration. "I'm glad you know. I hated using his request as an excuse to he near you. I hope you know me better than to think I was only interested in you because of his arrangement."
"Why should I believe anything you say?" She narrowed her eyes. "You completely lack integrity or honor." He took a step toward her. She held up her hands. "Stop right there."
"Eve-Genevieve, I am not without honor. I care for you. Thomas's requests to entertain you were just a means to get closer to you. With his blessing, I could feel free to court you."
"I am a married woman, sir. You have no right to court me." [vie shook her head, her anger mounting. "The fact that you do not respect the institution of marriage leaves me without respect for you."
"Eve, that isn't fair." He moved closer, ignoring her extended hands. He took hold of her even as she backed up. "Please hear me out."
"There is nothing you can say that will interest me."
"Eve, you're lonely. I know that you are. That baby doesn't take care of your womanly desires. A baby can't hold you in the night or assuage your fears. Those are the things a husband might do, but not a child."
"Then you hardly qualify." She felt her body come in contact with the trunk of a tree. She could move no farther.
Trayton smiled and surrounded her with his arms. "Eve, I played the game so that I could be with you. I want to help you. I want to make you happy."
She wished she could think clearly. Evie had never been one to have quick retorts or the ability to counter with witty sarcasm. She looked at Trayton for a moment. She simply couldn't deny there was something so appealing about this man, so enticing.
"Evie, you are important to me."
"If that is so," she replied softly, "then leave me alone."
He shook his head. "I can't do that." He tried to kiss her, but Evie turned away. "Don't resist me. You know you feel as passionately about me as I do you. You belong to me."
The words angered Evie and broke any remaining spell. She pushed hard against Trayton's chest, catching him off guard. He stumbled back, and she darted past him. "Don't ever touch me again."
Hurrying to the house, Evie decided she'd had enough. Her mind raced with thoughts. She had contemplated asking Thomas to send her and Dalton elsewhere-somewhere she could live freely and openly with the child. Perhaps he could set her up in her own house far away-even Chicago. Thomas had enough money, that much was certain. She would even offer to make this a permanent arrangement, if that was to his liking. Whatever it took, she desired only to leave Kansas City and the complications of her marriage and this madness behind.
She stepped through the open French doors into the music room. The aroma of spring lilacs drifted in on the breeze, the scent sweet and heady. Evie paused and drew a deep breath as she glanced around for her husband. There was no better time than now, she decided. She would go to him and tell him that she knew everything about Trayton.
Evie walked with determined steps toward the sound of voices in Thomas's office, but she halted when she heard Marston's rather loud comment. "I didn't know until today. I just got word."
You should have been more thorough," Mitchell declared.
Frowning, Evie pressed against the wall just outside the doorway. Her husband added, "It doesn't need to cause us trouble. They believe the child to he dead, don't they?"
But Lydia is alive. And she will not rest until she knows where Dalton has gone-to know if he's truly dead or alive."
Evie gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Lydia was alive? What was Marston talking about?
" Sitka is a great distance away, and Alaska is a very primitive land. I cannot imagine that she would come all the way to Kansas City to ascertain whether you have her child," Thomas said. "I mean, think of the difficulty"
You don't know her like we do," Mitchell countered.
"Mitchell's right. I would not put it past her to show up here. When I arranged for her to be taken care of, I thought the men I hired had accomplished the job. I should have known better. They couldn't handle setting a simple fire in a lumber mill. This is the exact reason I swore everyone to secrecy regarding the child. If anyone decides to send the authorities to investigate, we cannot let them know the baby is here."
[vie could scarcely believe what she was hearing. Her brother had tried to have Lydia killed. He had stolen her child and returned to Kansas City as if nothing had happened. No wonder he didn't want the child seen in public. It all made sense now.
She didn't need to hear any more. Evie moved away from the office in a daze. Making her way upstairs, she couldn't even begin to comprehend the situation. Marston in his selfish cruelty had stolen Dalton from his mother. He'd tried to murder Lydia, just as their father had killed their mother. Evie was heartsick. Had the Gray men not done enough to hurt the innocent?
Lydia walked alongside her husband, enjoying the quiet of the afternoon. They were searching for chocolate lily, which Lerelda had requested. Kjell pointed to a patch. "There, see the green stems with the dark red flowers?"
They look like brown flowers to me," Lydia said, leaning closer. "So this is it?"
"Yes. The Tlingits call it koox. Actually, it has lots of names. Some people call it the Kamchatka lily or even wild rice. It's a part of the lily family" Kjell squatted down. "You pull the plant out, and you'll find a bulb with white kernels. This is the rice." He demonstrated. "You have to be careful or the hull) will fall apart and sprinkle the rice everywhere. I always like to put down a cloth beside the stems and hope for the best."
The stem held tight for a moment despite the damp soil. Kjcll finally loosened it and the hull) came out in one piece. "Success!" he declared proudly.
Lydia immediately followed suit and began gathering plants. The area was well shaded by large spruce and cedar trees. The ground was marshy and damp, a perfect environment for the muchloved dish. She was glad Kjell and Zerelda had insisted she wear her sturdy hoots. Even now, she could feel the wetness of the ground seeping into the leather.
"There is so much here that can be utilized," Lydia commented. "If you know what you're looking at, that is. I would have simply thought these were lovely flowers, and I never would have considered that the roots might offer something to eat."
"The Tlingit have learned to use much of the vegetation on this island. My mother would take the rice and mix it with the rhubarb that grows wild here. With a little sugar and cinnamon, it was quite a treat. I'll bet Zerelda knows how to do the same."
"I've enjoyed getting to know her better."
"Zee is well respected in Sitka. The people here know they can count on her for help. She's a wonderful midwife; she's helped deliver quite a few babies in her time."
Lydia looked up rather shyly. "I think I'd like to have a baby one day."
Kjcll responded with a shocked expression.
She laughed. "I suppose I have spoken too boldly."
"Not at all. I'm sorry if I seem surprised." He looked away and turned his attention to the rice once again.
Lydia, however, sensed he was uncomfortable. Have we ever talked about having children?"
"Of course. I hope one day we will have many, but…"
"But what?" Lydia frowned. "What's wrong?"
Kjcll shook his head. "Nothing, sweet." He smiled. "I simply want to make sure you are healed from your wounds. The doctor said it would be wise to keep your activities limited while you recuperate in full. Having a baby now would be hard on you."
I suppose you are right. Still, I find that I long for a child. I sometimes dream about having a baby. It's strange, but it seems so real." Lydia rose to her feet, but she winced at the pain in her neck and shoulder.
Are you all right?" Kjell asked. "We can return to the house. You need to take it slow and easy."
"Perhaps we should go back." Lydia didn't want to admit to how quickly she tired.
Kjcll nodded and gathered their collection of rice. "We've probably been gone too long as it is."
"It was so enjoyable," Lydia said as he came to her side. "I love how quiet and peaceful it is here."
He put his arm around her. "And I simply love you."
"I know you do. I'm so grateful for that love." Pausing, Lydia looked deep into his eyes. "You would tell me the truth if I asked for it, wouldn't you?"
Kjell frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I know that you and Zerelda know a lot more about my past than you are telling me. I also know the doctor said to not push myself and let time heal my body and mind. But, Kjell, you wouldn't try to keep things from me, would you?"
She studied his expression as he considered her question. It was obvious that he was hesitant to reply.
"Do you remember the verses we studied this morning?"
Nodding, Lydia reflected on their devotions. "It was about forgetting the past."
"I chose those verses because I thought God was leading me to share that with you. The past has its place in our life, but the present is so much more important. Living here and now, with a heart for what's truly beneficial and important."
"l3ut you have all of your memories, so it's easier for you to say that." Lydia started toward home and found Kjell quickly keeping step with her.
"It's not that it's easy," Kjell declared, "hut I have come to a better understanding. All through the Bible you will find verses that speak of forgetting the past. The past isn't something we can change or enhance. It cannot be rearranged or made over to better satisfy our current state. I firmly believe that God wants us to put the past to rest-as if it has died and we are burying it. Once a person dies and you busy them, you have no means by which you can bring them hack to life. Even in memory, they are still gone. In the same way, the past is still gone, even when you dwell on it."
Its so hard not knowing who I really am. I find that every day I must confront that reality. Do you realize how many things we react to purely based on our experiences? I would venture to say that nearly everything is that way. I have no experiences for many of the things I confront."
His expression grew sympathetic, and with great tenderness he touched her face. "In many ways I think you are the blessed one of us all. You have the ability to forget the pains and sorrows of the past and start anew. You get to make choices and plans based on nothing more than how you perceive them at this point in time. I find that rather refreshing… but I also respect that you feel overwhelmed at times."
Lydia grew thoughtful. "I'd never really thought to see it as a blessing. I've only focused on the grief of not knowing of feeling lost. But I have you and I have Zerelda." She smiled. "And you have both given me such love. I suppose eventually, should my memory not return, I will find a way to put it all away from me and enjoy what I have. I am trying to let it go, you know."
Kjell nodded. "I do, and you have done a wonderful job." He kissed her gently. "No one could expect more."