I SENT An-te-hai for Chief Eunuch Shim. When Shim arrived, I received him in my official court robe with full makeup and headdress. He was surprised.
“Lady Yehonala.” Shim got down on his knees and kept his eyes on the floor. “You needn’t be so formal. As your slave, Shim doesn’t deserve such respect.” He paused and raised his eyes to my knees. The half-revealed pupils made him look like a lizard. “I don’t mean to criticize, but Lady Yehonala, you should be careful. You can get both of us in trouble.”
“I am desperate, Chief Shim,” I said. “Please rise and have a seat.”
As I spoke, I signaled to An-te-hai, who brought out a carved golden box.
“Chief Shim, I have a humble gift for you.” I opened the box and took out the ruyi that Emperor Hsien Feng had given me.
Upon seeing the ruyi Shim nearly jumped. His eyes were so wide I thought his eyeballs would fall out of their sockets. “It is… it is His Majesty’s engagement gift to you, Lady Yehonala! It is an authenticated piece, a pledge. If you don’t know its value, allow me to-”
“I’m glad that you recognize the value.” I smiled. “However, I still would like you to have it.”
“Why, Lady Yehonala? Why?”
“I’d like to exchange it for a favor, Chief Shim.” I made him look me in the eye. “To tell you the truth, this ruyi is the last thing I own. I want to give it to you because I understand the value of your help.”
“Lady Yehonala, please. I… can’t accept it.” He got up, only to crash down on his knees again.
“Rise, Chief Shim.”
“I dare not!”
“I insist.”
“But Lady Yehonala!”
I waited until he was on his feet. “The ruyi”-I uttered each word with deliberation-“will be more valuable when I become the mother of Emperor Hsien Feng’s child.”
The expression on Chief Eunuch Shim’s face froze. He seemed to be transfixed by the possibility.
“Yes, Lady Yehonala.” He knocked his forehead on the floor.
I let him go on for a while and then said, “Thank you for helping me.”
Slowly Chief Eunuch Shim got up. He shook his sleeves and breathed deeply. A moment later, he was himself again. He seemed to be pleased and frightened at the same time. He took the ruyi from my hand and held it to his chest.
“Which date, my lady, would you like me to schedule you with His Majesty?” he asked, putting the ruyi in the inner pocket of his robe.
“Does the date make a difference?” I had not been prepared for such a quick response.
“A big difference, my lady. You want to see His Majesty on your most fertile days, don’t you?”
“That’s right.” I quickly calculated the dates.
“And the date is?”
“The fourteenth day of the next full moon.”
“Perfect, my lady. I’ll mark the date in my book right away. If you don’t hear from me, we are set. If everything goes right with His Majesty, you will be summoned on the fourteenth day of the next full moon. Until then, my lady.” He took a step back and then motioned toward the door.
“Wait.” I didn’t trust him. How could a date with Emperor Hsien Feng be so easily arranged? “Chief Shim, please bear with my questions. What if His Majesty wants to see other ladies on that day? How can you be sure to make him want me instead?”
“Don’t worry, my lady.” He smiled. “I have a way to bend the wind in the Forbidden City.”
“And that is to say…”
“That is to say if Emperor Hsien Feng expresses a desire to see any other lady-for example, Lady Li-I’ll say to him, ‘Your Majesty, Lady Li is unclean.’”
“Well, what about Lady Mei?”
“‘I’m sorry, your Majesty, Lady Mei is unclean too.’”
“So, everyone will have their cycle except the one you want to sleep with the Emperor?”
“Yes. I have succeeded many times.”
“I am counting on you to make it work for me, Chief Shim.”
“You needn’t worry, my lady. I’ll whet His Majesty’s appetite by telling him how delicious you are.”
But I did worry, and now I had only twelve days to prepare myself. I had no idea how to please a man in bed. I needed to be instructed immediately. I thought of Big Sister Fann and wished that I could speak with her, but there was no way I could get out of the Forbidden City. To ask for permission to leave, I had to lie. I sent An-te-hai to the Imperial household to report that my mother was ill and I needed to go home. Two days later, permission was granted for a ten-day leave. An-te-hai told me that I was lucky. Just a few weeks ago Lady Li had made the same request-her mother was truly ill-and been refused. Emperor Hsien Feng was taking his pleasure, and he would not release her. Lady Li’s mother had died.
“That shows how unimportant I am to His Majesty,” I said bitterly.
I arrived home at noon and immediately sent An-te-hai to fetch Big Sister Fann. My mother, Rong and Kuei Hsiang were thrilled to see me. Mother planned to take me shopping, but I begged her to stay home and not to leave the bed until my visit was over. I explained that I had lied to the Emperor, and that I could be beheaded if found out.
Mother was shocked and thought my behavior unforgivable. But after I described my situation, she had no trouble staying in bed. She said she felt sick and asked Rong to place some towels by her bedside. Rong put a pot of strong-scented herb medicine on the stove in case the Forbidden City sent its spies.
Big Sister Fann came. “Impressive, Orchid! Impressive! You are like a pepper in autumn-turning redder and hotter each day!” She had no time to tell me how much she missed me. “I have a place for you to learn what is required, but you must disguise yourself.” I exchanged clothes with Rong. Big Sister Fann handed a set of women’s clothes to An-te-hai.
“I am taking Orchid to visit a friend,” Big Sister Fann told my mother.
We were out in the street when Fann told me that we were heading for the House of Lotus.
“Big Sister Fann!” I knew the nature of the house and hesitated.
“I wish we had a choice, Orchid,” she said apologetically.
I stood in the middle of the road, unable to make a decision.
“What are you thinking, Orchid?”
“To win His Majesty’s heart” were the words that jumped out of my mouth.
“Then come, Orchid. We will use the house only for what it can teach us-the ways of pleasing men.”
We hired a donkey cart. After half an hour we arrived in the west corner of Peking. The streets narrowed and the air smelled sour. We dismounted in the back of a busy street where shopkeepers stacked their rotten fruit and vegetable baskets. I hid my face behind a scarf and walked quickly with Big Sister Fann and An-te-hai. We stopped in front of an old building. A lantern sign hung down from the second floor that read House of Lotus.
The three of us entered a dimly lit hallway. The interior was covered with murals depicting elaborate bedrooms where lavishly dressed people indulged themselves in every way imaginable. The characters were stylishly drawn. After my eyes adjusted to the light I began to see the shabbiness-chipped paint and falling plaster everywhere. The place had an odd odor, a mixture of perfume and stale tobacco.
A frog-faced woman appeared behind a counter. She had a smoking pipe sticking out of her mouth. She greeted Big Sister Fann with a broad smile. “What wind has brought you here, my friend?”
“The southern wind, Mistress,” answered Fann. “I am here to ask you a favor.”
“Don’t be modest about your intention.” The Mistress patted Big Sister Fann’s shoulder with one hand. “I know you are with the spirit of the god of money or you wouldn’t be here. My temple is too small for a big worshiper like you.”
“Don’t be modest yourself, Mistress,” Big Sister Fann said. “Your small temple happens to have the god I need to talk to. Come.” She pulled me over and introduced me as her niece from the countryside, and An-te-hai as my sister.
The Mistress looked me up and down. She turned to Big Sister Fann. “I am afraid I can’t offer much. This girl is too skinny. How can you expect a spider to spin when it has no butt? It’ll take me too much money just to fatten her up.”
“Oh, don’t worry.” Big Sister Fann leaned toward the Mistress. She pulled her ear and whispered, “My niece is here for a consultation only.”
“I don’t do small business anymore, sorry.” The Mistress took a toothpick from a shelf behind the counter and started to run it over her teeth. “The market has been bad, you know.”
Big Sister Fann winked at me.
I cleared my throat.
An-te-hai stepped up and passed me a bag.
I went to the counter and removed what was in the bottom of the bag.
My dragonfly hairpin, inlaid with jewels and pearls, glistened in the light. I put it on the counter.
“Oh, my heavens!” The Mistress drew a breath and tried not to show surprise. Covering her mouth with both hands, she studied the hairpin. Raising her chin, she looked at me suspiciously. “You stole this.”
“No, I didn’t,” I said calmly. “It was an inheritance.”
“That’s right,” Big Sister Fann echoed. “Her family have been jewelry makers for… centuries.”
“I am not doubting whether it is real,” the Mistress said as her eyes continued to search me. “I only wonder why such a rare treasure is outside of the Forbidden City.”
To avoid the Mistress’s stare, I turned to look at the murals.
“Is that enough for your consultation?” Big Sister Fann asked.
“You are too kind.” The Mistress picked up her pipe and stuffed dry leaves in it. “My only hesitation is that I am not sure it is safe for me to keep. If it is a stolen piece…” She paused. Her hand drew a hanging rope in the air.
“Let’s go to another house, Aunt.” I reached for the hairpin.
“Wait!” The Mistress put her hand on top of mine. Gently but firmly she picked up the hairpin. Her face turned into a smiling rose. “Oh, my dear child, don’t dare make a fool of your aunt. I didn’t say I didn’t want it, did I? It is good that you were brought to me, because I am the only lady in town who can offer what you want. My child, I am going to give you the lesson of a lifetime. I am going to be worthy of your priceless hairpin.”
We sat in the master chamber. It had a large bed with decorative posts up to the ceiling. Made of redwood, the bed had been carved with pe-onies, eggplants, tomatoes, bananas and cherries, which suggested male and female sexual organs. The curtains were washed white and perfumed. The side walls had built-in shelves displaying miniature sculptures. Most were Buddhist gods in the middle of coupling. The actions were cleverly depicted, the poses elegant. Females mounted males in positions of meditation. The lovers’ eyes were either half open or closed. Between each couple were displayed plates painted with individual pink peonies and eggplants. The peonies had dark, hair-like pistils and the eggplants had cap-like tops painted in light purple.
“It is all about arousing the mind,” the Mistress commented as she served tea. “When girls first come to my house, I teach them a skill called the fan dance. “The Mistress opened a chest and pulled out a set of props: a small round pillow, a stack of paper money, and a dozen eggs on a bamboo tray.
“I lay these objects on top of one another, with the money on the bottom, the pillow in the middle and the eggs on top. The girl sits on the arrangement. She is given one minute to turn the stack of money into the shape of a fan. The rule is that the eggs cannot be broken.”
How was this possible?
The Mistress snapped her fingers.
Two girls entered from a side door. They were in their late teens and were dressed in thin brocaded robes. Although they had pleasant features, they showed no hospitality. They spit out sunflower seeds, kicked off their slippers and climbed onto the bed. Opening their legs, they squatted over the eggs like two hens.
The Mistress snapped her fingers again, and the girls started to rock their bottoms.
The view was unbearably comic and I failed to suppress a giggle.
Big Sister Fann jabbed me with her elbow.
I apologized but could hardly control myself.
“You won’t be laughing when you start practicing yourself, believe me,” the Mistress said. “It takes a great deal of effort to master the trick.”
I asked what this movement was for.
“It is to help you gain power and control of your body,” the Mistress replied. “It is to add sensitivity to your bottom lips.”
Bottom lips?
“Follow my advice and practice, and you will understand what it is for. When the skill is mastered, you will drown the man beneath you in pleasure and he will remember your name.”
The words got me. Yes, I would like to have Emperor Hsien Feng re-member my name. I would like His Majesty to remember the pleasure along with its deliverer.
I looked at the ivory-colored rocking behinds and tried to picture the girls in bed with men. My cheeks started to burn. It was not out of shame but from the knowledge that I was going to try this myself.
“We have been in business a long time,” the Mistress said, trying to brush away my doubts. “Men come at all costs. We bring life back to them. We release the beast out of younger men and make older men know their youth once again.”
My eyes were on the girls, who were now balanced on their limbs.
“This is a time-tested position.” The Mistress gave a mysterious smile. “You see, the girls from good families are taught to despise my house. Such girls don’t know that it is because of them I am in business. The good girls never know what my girls know; therefore they end up keeping their house, and my girls their husbands and their money!”
“How long does it take to master the… dance?” I asked, wanting to get out of here as soon as I could.
“Three months.” The Mistress pulled over a chair and sat down.
I had only ten days!
“Every day you squat on top of the eggs and rock your behind.” The Mistress lit her pipe and inhaled. “After three months, your bottom lips will grow a little thicker and fatter than a normal woman’s. When a man wears those lips, you will drive him wild. He will want to die for you, and you will be able to empty his pockets.”
I tried to forget where I was, but it was hard.
Big Sister Fann gave me an I-didn’t-hear-it look.
An-te-hai stared boldly. He was spellbound by what he was watching.
The girls lifted themselves off the eggs. Their bodies glistened with sweat.
“Take a look at what they have done.” The Mistress waved at me.
I went over to see.
The Mistress removed the egg tray and the pillow. A perfect fan presented itself-the stack of paper money had been moved into the intended shape.
“Now try it yourself,” the Mistress said, putting down the tray and the pillow.
I couldn’t move.
“You might as well face it,” the Mistress said. “It is a man’s world.”
The girls offered to help take off my clothes.
I felt foolish. My body became tense.
“Your future depends on your performance.” The Mistress’s voice was flat, without emotion. “You must make the man think of you as magical or he will not call you back.”
“Yes,” I replied in a weak voice.
“Then quit fighting and let go. A good life doesn’t come free.” The Mistress led me to the bed and motioned for me to squat. “The fact is, life comes easy to nobody.”
Embarrassed, I told An-te-hai and Big Sister Fann to leave the room.
The two exited without a word.
I got down and squatted like a hen. The position was so awkward that my limbs became sore almost instantly. I moved my behind in circles. The touch of the eggs brought with it an odd sensation. I struggled with my knees and ankles to stay in position.
“Keep going.” The Mistress reached out and stabilized the egg tray underneath me. “Perfection needs time.”
“I don’t have time.” I rocked my behind and began to gasp. “Ten days is all I have.”
“You’ve got to be crazy to think you can master the trick in ten days.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I was not crazy.”
“Only a fool would expect herself to drink hot porridge in one gulp.”
“I understand, but I must get it done before…” Before my sentence ended, a cracking sound came from my bottom.
It was the eggs. I had crushed them.
The Mistress grabbed a towel to keep the yolks from spilling. Quickly, she replaced the broken eggs with new ones.
Getting back into position, I balanced myself on both hands. My body felt like a strange object. I rocked, bearing my developing muscle pain.
“Ten days is definitely a torture.” The Mistress now was admiring my strength. “You need to take breaks. You don’t want to crush the eggs again.”
“No, I don’t. However, I can’t afford not to keep going.”
“There is another way to attract men.” The Mistress got off her chair. She took the pipe out of her mouth and knocked it on her sole to empty the ash. “Care to hear it?”
I nodded.
The girls came and handed me a hot towel.
I crawled off the bed and wiped my behind.
“I can’t teach you to beat your fate.” The Mistress refilled the pipe with dry leaves and lit it. She made a sucking sound as she inhaled the smoke. “Because you can’t. But it helps a great deal if you have an understanding of men as creatures. You must come to see why ‘Roses in one’s own backyard don’t smell as good as roses in the wild.’”
“Go on, madam, please,” I said.
“You are a pretty girl, all right, but when the lamp is out, a beautiful girl or a beast of a girl-it makes no difference to a man. Over the years I have seen so many men abandon their good-looking wives for ugly concubines, and then abandon the concubines for uglier prostitutes.”
“How can a woman make a difference?”
“I told you, it is the mind’s game. The truth is that men need encouragement no matter how strong they appear to be,” the Mistress said.
Looking at an erotic painting in which a man gazed intently at a woman’s breasts, the Mistress continued. “Be blind about his looks and habits. Try to ignore his manners as well. Be prepared: he may have the features of a panda, the smell of a barn, his sun instrument may be small like a walnut, or too large like a daikon instead of a carrot. He might demand hours of service before reaching satisfaction. You must concentrate on the music inside of his head. You must keep the pot boiling. You must remember the paintings in my house. They will help to create the magic. Look at this gentleman, holding his lady’s breasts like they are sweet peaches. Praise him with your noises. No actual words. Just the sounds. Wipe it on him like honey. Make flavors. Turn uhn into woo and back. Let him know he’s fantastic.”
“Doesn’t he already know? Doesn’t my willingness tell him so? I would have told him a thousand times by the time I am in bed with him, wouldn’t I?”
“You will be surprised, young lady.”
“How is that?”
“You haven’t spoken with your bottom lips, have you?”
“Oh, that’s right.”
“Put your skill to use!”
“Yes, of course.” My embarrassment turned into amusement.
“You might end up pleasing yourself too.” The Mistress smiled.
“What if…” I paused, because I didn’t know if I could make my question comprehensible. I decided to ask anyway. “What if he doesn’t like what I do?”
“There is no such thing. Men like it,” the Mistress said confidently. “But timing counts a great deal, and of course the condition of his health too.”
“What if I don’t like him?”
“Didn’t I already tell you? Pay attention to just the business. You are not after him, but his pockets.”
“What if he insults me and tells me to leave his bed? What if I fail to hide my feelings of disgust?”
“Listen, this business is not about how one feels. It never was, is or will be. Such is the fate of a woman. You’ve got to make a dish with whatever you’ve got in the kitchen. You can’t dream only about the fresh vegetables in the market!”
“How can I pretend to be excited when I am not?”
“Fake it! It is a son-of-a-dog act! The worst part is, by the time you reach perfection, you are too old. Youth evaporates like dew, born in the morning and dead in the afternoon.”
The Mistress threw herself into a chair. Her chest pumped as if she had just been revived after nearly drowning.
The two girls sat by themselves and remained stone-faced.
I put my clothes back on and got ready to leave.
“One last thing,” the Mistress uttered from the chair. “Don’t ever voice your disappointment, no matter how hurt or angry you are. Don’t try to argue with him.”
“I don’t even know if there will be a conversation.”
“Some men like to chat afterwards.”
“Well, as long as he is interested, I intend to continue my act.”
“Good.”
“I also would like to-I mean, if the situation permits-ask him questions. Can I?”
“Be sure to ask dumb questions.”
“Dumb questions? Why?”
“Without exception, a woman who tries to show that she’s got a brain gets abandoned.”
“Why?”
“Why? Men hate to be challenged. It’s simply demeaning to them.”
“So I should act dumb?”
“You’ll be doing yourself a favor.”
“But…” I couldn’t imagine myself acting dumb on purpose. “It is not part of my nature.”
“Make it yours!” The Mistress stared at me with wide eyes. Her skin was bleached out by the light and became pale, almost bluish.
“Thank you, madam,” I said.
Taking out the hairpin from her inner pocket, she wiped it with her sleeve. “We are talking about survival. Like I said, I want to be worthy of your hairpin.”
“It was a good lesson.” I bowed lightly. “Goodbye and thanks.”
The Mistress licked the hairpin with her tongue. “What kind of man are you seeing, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“I wish I knew.” I walked toward the door and lifted the curtain.