An ice pick leapt from his testicles to his heart and back again and a thousand answers presented themselves, the best of which was, If I want to go to the Yoshiwara by God I will go and we aren't married and even if I was... and I told you I didn't want to be married, at least not yet, not now that the new business has a chance.
Confidently he opened his mouth to say all that but for some reason his voice came out strangled and limp: "I, er, yes I did but th--"
"Did you have a good time?"
"Look, Maureen. There's some--"
"I know about the Yoshiwara, laddie, and about men," she said matter-of-fact and kindly. "Did you have a good time?"
He stopped, rocked at the gentle voice and manner. "I, well, I suppose... but you see, Maur--"
"It's too cold to stop, Jamie, dear."
In friendly fashion, she took his arm again and forced him to walk on again and continued, "Good, so you had a good time. Why did you no' tell me? And why tell a fib about being tired?"
"Well because..." Again a dozen answers, but his mouth only issued, "Because it's obvious for goodness' sake. I didn't want..." He couldn't say, I didn't want to hurt you because I'd made a date, wanted to see Nemi yet didn't want to, didn't want you to know about her and actually I had a dreadful time.
When he had walked into their little house Nemi was dressed in her best sleeping kimono, their little sanctuary pristine, food and sak`e prepared and she was laughing and happy and completely attentive: "Heya, Jami-san, good you see ah! Hear good new from boat. You to marr'iage 'rady from Scut 'rand, marriage heya?"' He had been flabbergasted at how quickly the news had travelled. "How do you know?"' "All Yoshiwara know-ah! 'portant, neh?"' Nemi bubbled. "Two day I at Great House kowtow meet soon oku-san you."
"EH?"' "'portant, Jami-san. Wen marr'iage?
'Portant, for oku-san, nee goh-san' frien', neh?"' "Are you touched?"' he had burst out.
She had stared at him without understanding. "Wat for mad, Jami-san? Oku-san pay now.
Oku-san pay, Jami-san, iy`e?
'portant oku-san nee--"' "That's not the way things are done, for God's sake."
"No 'unn'stan... 'portant Nemi go oku-san..."
"You're crazy!"
"No unn'stan'," she had said sullenly, appalled at his bellicose manner, deciding flight was the best defense from this incredible behavior--but flight of course in tears.
She was gone before he could stop her, the mama-san could not convince her to return and so, furiously, he had stomped home to bed and to little sleep. God Almighty, Nemi coming to Struan's to see Maureen? Maureen's to pay Nemi in future? Important for mistress and wife to be good friends? God in Heaven! I must have misunderstood.
No you bloody didn't. That's what she bloody said.
Eventually, he had come to the office. Before dawn. Bloody hell, he had thought all morning and now he had two bloody women to contend with. "Look, Maureen, I'm sorry I lied," he said lamely, "but... well, I don't quite know what else to say."
"Dinna' fash' yoursel', these things happen."
She smiled.
"Eh? You're not pis--sorry, you're not angry?"
"Nay, laddie, no' this time," she said so nicely, "no' till we've had a wee chat."
There was no threat in her voice or manner that he could detect, she still held his arm tenderly yet his innermost being screamed danger and for God's sake hold your tongue, say nothing, "Wee chat?" he heard himself ask.
"Aye." Then there was a deafening silence even though the wind was clattering roof shingles and shutters, church bells, steam whistles from the harbor, dogs barking.
Hold your tongue, two can play in this negotiation, he cautioned himself. "Aye? What's that mean?"
Maureen was feeling her way carefully, enjoying the learning--and teaching--process. This was merely the first of a never-ending series of confrontations.
"All men are dreadful, Maureen," her mother had said, amongst other counsel. "Some worse than others, they're all liars though a canny wife can always see through her man's lies.
In the beginning husbands are sweet and send your head to the stars, their warmth and lovemaking, and silly little kindnesses. In the beginning.
"Then come the bairns, the children, and looking after the home, most always wi'out enough money.
By this time you're inclined to let yoursel' go in dress an' your hair and person. It's awful difficult with bairns, and lack of sleep an' being mortal tired, so soon thy man's turns his back in bed, begins to snore, aye, that's na' a wee difficulty if you canna' learn to close your ears tight. Then they go awenching... but dinna' fash' yoursel', it's a temporary game for them an' willna' last, and if you're a canny wife, thy man will always come back, you've always got the bairns, and you've got God.
Remember it's no' an easy task to earn the daily bread, as he should remember it's also no' an easy task to raise bairns and keep the home cozy, but they never will remember.
"Thy father, he's nay different with his women or woman in India, but he's home now and his problem's different, I should have known he was already wedded to his Regiment when we wedded. At least this Jamie, he's no' in the Services, that's terrible hard for a wife to compete against."
"How do you become a canny wife, Ma?"' "I wish I knew, lassie, I wish, but some rules are certain: choose thy man cannily, a good hold on thy tongue will help, a good stiff broom and a wild temper if used shrewdly will help, lots of understanding and forgiveness all the time, and a warm soft bosom for the poor wee laddie to cry on..."
"Wee chat?" she heard Jamie say again, his voice choked, and she almost laughed aloud.
She kept her smile and demeanor forgiving, the broomstick and temper ready in case. "I learned about the Yoshiwara on the boat." She left that hanging and he snapped up the bait.
"Gornt told you? Or Hoag? It was him?
That idiot."
"No, it was your fine Captain Strongbow--and Dr. Hoag's no idiot, lad. I asked Strongbow how you all managed to stop from going mad without lady friends, was it the same as in India, or China?" She laughed remembering how difficult it had been to get him to talk openly. Wusky's wonderful, she thought, blessing her father for teaching her to drink, when necessary. "I think your Yoshiwara's very sensible."
He was going to say, You do? This time he said nothing. Her silence tortured him. When she was ready she said, "Tomorrow's Sunday."
His head reeled, unprepared for the non sequitur. "Yes I, yes, I suppose, yes it's Sunday, why?"
"This afternoon I thought we could go to the Reverend Tweet, I hope he's not as silly as his name, and we should ask him to publish the banns."
He blinked. "What?"
"Aye, banns, Jamie." She laughed.
"You've no' forgotten banns must be read three consecutive Sundays, have you?"
"No but I told you I'd written and said th--"
"That was when I was there, I'm no' there anymore I'm here and I love you," she said and stopped and looked up at him and saw he was fine and what she desired in life and, all at once, her control went with the wind, "Jamie darlin', we're engaged and I believe we should marry because I will make the best wife a man ever had, I promise I promise I promise and not just because I'm here, I've loved thee from the first moment and now is a grand time to marry, I know it, I'll go back, back to Scotland and never... if you want me to go back I will, by the next boat, but I love you, Jamie. I swear I'll leave if you want me to." Tears sprang into her eyes and she brushed them aside. "Sorry, it's just the wind, laddie." But it wasn't the wind, all guile vanished, her spirit open and naked for him to see. "I just love you, Jamie..." His arms went around her and she buried her head in his shoulder feeling more terrible than she had ever been, desperate for his love, tears pouring.