Well, Brother Elpidios, what the devil was I supposed to do? She was dead. I hadn't killed her, and Justinian hadn't killed her, either. She was a pagan who'd killed herself. What? She wouldn't have done it if he hadn't abused her? Maybe, but maybe not, too. It's not a lie, what I told him about Sklavinian women. If their husbands die, sometimes they will kill themselves. It's something they do, the way we Christians cross ourselves. Of course, they can only do it once.
No one did stop me till I got to the camp gate nearest the burial pit and the prisoner pen. I saw a couple of other soldiers carrying women through the camp, as a matter of fact; it was that kind of night. The ones in their arms probably were just drunk, though.
The gate guards laughed as I came near them. "Used her up, did you?" one of them said.
"You might say so," I answered. "What with the wine and everything else"- I grinned and rocked my hips forward and back-"she's gone." And Lord, wasn't that the truth?
All of a sudden, he made a nasty face. "Aii, get her out of here!" he exclaimed. "She stinks- she's gone and shit herself." His comrades all got out of the way then. They didn't want anything to do with me, not after that.
It was easy as could be. The moon ducked behind a cloud right after I walked out of the gate. The night turned black as the soot above a lamp that's been hanging in the same place for twenty years. Instead of going all the way out to the prisoner pen, I stopped by the burial pit. It was closer. Nobody saw me heave her in. Nobody heard the soft thud her body made, landing on the others. I waited long enough so it would seem I'd gone to the pen. Then I walked back to the gate. The guards jeered at me. I swore at them, enough to sound convincing. They laughed and waved me by.
I went back to Justinian's pavilion.
How do I feel about it, Brother Elpidios? I'd sooner not have done it, I'll tell you that. But the Emperor told me to, so I did. I haven't thought about it much since then; some things you'd rather not remember. You ask all the questions, Brother. Let me ask you one for a change. Suppose Justinian had told you to dispose of her. What would you have done then?