Hsu Chih-mo’s death reminded us how fragile life could be. Looking back, I realized that it was Dick’s love for Hsu Chih-mo that bound us together. Dick had once been combative and imposing, and Hsu Chih-mo had changed him. Dick acknowledged, “If I am a giant today, it is because Hsu Chih-mo taught me the difference between physical and intellectual height.”
I married Dick Lin after Hsu Chih-mo died. He worked in Shanghai and came to see me in Nanking once a month.
Pearl continued to teach at Nanking University but she no longer lingered on campus. Every time she saw the tree that Hsu Chih-mo used to sit under waiting for her, she would burst into tears. Hsu Chih-mo was more in her life than when he had been alive.
“Hsu Chih-mo was the only Chinese man I know who was true to himself,” Pearl told me. “In his way, he was daring and almost impulsive. I couldn’t help but love him. It was selfish of me. But I needed him. We needed each other.”
One thing Pearl seemed unaware of was that Hsu Chih-mo had also been her challenge. I was never a challenge for Pearl, in contrast. She was attracted to challenges. When she lived in China, she never looked down on anyone, but she also never looked up to anyone until Hsu Chih-mo.
Without Pearl and Hsu Chih-mo in my life, I never would have been the person I am today. The three of us discussed Shakespeare, Rousseau, Dickens, and classic Chinese poets and novelists. Although I published and impressed others as a writer, it was never my air and rice, as it was for Pearl and Hsu Chih-mo.
Like Carie, Pearl worked obsessively for the church and offered her charity. She played Carie’s piano, which was falling apart. The keys either didn’t work or were out of tune. Pearl made the best of it. During Christmas season, we gathered. Pearl retranslated Absalom’s lyrics into Chinese. We spent the evenings singing Carie’s favorites, from “The God of Glory” to “Hail the Heaven-Born Prince of Peace”; from “Love Has Come” to “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”
Papa no longer worried about the church attendance-the members of the Chin-kiang congregation by now far outnumbered those of the local Buddhist temples. More and more people were choosing the Foreign God Jesus Christ.
Pearl’s home became what Carie’s once was, a shelter for the needy. Neighbors came by unannounced. People borrowed whatever they needed, from gingerroot and garlic to pots and pans, medicine and clothing. As they visited, they shared words with Pearl. They complained about bad weather, failed business deals, nasty mothers-in-law or troubled children. Pearl listened and comforted them. She believed that only when one understood suffering was one capable of happiness.
It was the house rule that no one mentioned Carol’s condition to outsiders, but Pearl realized that people drew closer to her because of Carol. Pearl was better understood. Local children were taught to play with Carol as if she were normal.
I had a feeling that Pearl knew Dick’s true identity, although she never asked. By 1933, Dick was the head of the Shanghai branch of the Communist Party. The party survived the Nationalists’ brutal purge. Mao retreated to Shan-hsi province, a remote area in the northwest mountains. Dick was left alone to be in charge. He barely had time to travel to Nanking.
While the Nationalists fought the Communists, Japan penetrated into China. In early 1934 Japan launched a full-scale invasion and took Manchuria. The nation protested and forced the head of the Nationalists, Chiang Kai-shek, to unite with the Communists instead of hunting them down.
While the Nationalist troops turned around and marched toward Manchuria to fight the Japanese, Mao expanded his forces. Dick received secret orders from Mao to focus on key generals who served Chiang Kai-shek. Dick’s goal was to inspire them to lead an uprising inside the Nationalist military.
“We will take the troops who rebel to Mao,” Dick told me.
Although I was aware of the danger, I supported Dick. It was clear that he simply couldn’t be stopped. What concerned me was his safety.
One day my fear turned into a reality: Dick’s plan ran into trouble when sensitive information was leaked. By the time I heard the news, Dick was on the run. Overnight, he was on the government’s most-wanted list. Dick was followed everywhere. Soon he ran out of places to hide in Shanghai. Whoever received him was followed and arrested.
I went to Pearl and asked if she could help by getting Dick a temporary job at Nanking University. “Dick must have a job in order to register with the city as a legal resident,” I told Pearl. “Dick will take any job, even as a janitor or night guard. There would be no financial burden to the university because we’d give you money to pay his salary.”
Pearl promised to try, but she warned me that the situation in Nanking was becoming uncertain.
“I would hire Dick as my house servant if it wouldn’t be so suspicious,” Pearl added. “I am watched because all foreigners are considered allies of Japan.”
The moment Dick arrived in Nanking, he was arrested. He was thrown into the Nationalist military prison. Although his true identity was still undiscovered, he was tried as a Communist. He was asked to cooperate and produce the names of his comrades. When he refused, he was beaten and his jaw broken.
“Has he been allowed a doctor?” Absalom asked when I told Pearl the news.
“No,” I replied.
“Nonsense!” Absalom said. “I don’t think that we are helpless.” He turned to Pearl. “There must be something we can do to help Dick.”
“Father, we must be cautious. We are not the only ones at risk,” Pearl said, reminding him of the other people in her house. “We are responsible for their lives as well.”
Pearl’s house was crowded. Besides Absalom and Carol, Pearl ’s sister, Grace, had moved in. Her family had also stayed in China, as missionaries. Pearl’s new adopted daughter, Janice, was there too. She was a little older than Carol. The two were already close sisters.
Pearl insisted that I stay with her instead of going back to my own house.
When Nanking University turned down Pearl ’s proposal to hire Dick, the seventy-seven-year-old Absalom went to the Nanking government and claimed that Dick was his assistant working for the church.
“It was the first time in his life that Absalom chose to sin,” Pearl later said, after Dick’s release.
Absalom made it his duty to protect the members of his church. He had difficulty because Dick was not a Christian. It was Papa who convinced Absalom that by helping Dick he was helping our family.
“Dick needs to see God’s work in action,” Papa said to Absalom. “Because of your good deed, you may soon see his conversion.”
Absalom knew that Chiang Kai-shek was a new Christian himself, although he’d converted only to satisfy his wife’s marriage request. When Absalom heard this, he knew that he stood a chance.
“What if Dick refuses to convert afterward?” I asked. “We don’t want to disappoint Absalom.”
Papa replied, “Dick will remember that he was saved by a man of God.”
Even covered with a beard, Dick’s face was horribly misshapen. The right side of his jaw was swollen and much larger than the left. Pearl arranged for a doctor from the American Embassy to come. The doctor reset Dick’s jaw and wired his mouth shut.
For days, Dick couldn’t speak. This was perhaps fortunate, because he couldn’t respond to Absalom’s talk of God. If Dick had been able to speak, the two would have been in combat.
Laughing at the thought, Pearl said, “Dick would try to convert Absalom to Communism.”
Eventually Dick had enough. He left without saying good-bye to Absalom.
Two weeks after Dick’s release, an order arrived from Communist headquarters. He left the next day to join Mao at his base in Yenan. Dick told Pearl he was grateful for Absalom’s rescue, but that he could never believe in God.
“Your father must learn that we Communists are fighting for a real cause,” Dick said to Pearl. “ China will one day be free of politics and religion. People will be their own gods.”
Pearl told Dick that she and her father had disagreements on many things. “He is God’s fighting angel. I don’t understand him, but I love him.”
Dick replied that it didn’t make sense to him. “I could not love my father if he were my political enemy,” he said.
Pearl smiled. “There is no enemy for me.”
In retrospect, Dick’s encounter with Pearl and Absalom helped him become a different kind of Communist. In a way, it was a perfect example of how God worked. Only the future would reveal the changes that had occurred in Dick. Without knowing it, his horizon had been expanded as God’s light shone on him.
Before my husband left we spent the evening together. His jaw was still tender but I cooked him his favorite meal and we stayed up late into the night discussing our plans. Dick was excited by the journey he was about to take, although we both shed tears at the idea of parting. He promised to come back and fetch me as soon as he was settled. I knew that if I insisted, Dick would stay in Nanking. He would do it for me, even though his heart was already with Mao and his comrades. Dick left me with a quote from Madame Curie: The weak one waits for opportunity while the strong one creates. By opportunity, he meant his dream of a people’s China.
When I sent my first letter to Dick two months later I had some news to share with my husband. On our last night together we had shared a bed and I had become pregnant. I was thrilled because years before, a doctor had told me after my miscarriage that I would not be able to bear children. I was forty-three years old and Dick forty-six. It was the happiest letter I’ve ever sent.
Pearl suggested that I start collecting medicine and packing it into bags. She had learned from an American journalist friend who had interviewed Mao that “medicine is the best currency in Yenan.” And besides, I didn’t want to be without medicine for my newborn.
The day Papa abandoned his church in Chin-kiang and came to Nanking was the day Pearl sensed that the safety of foreigners in China was a thing of the past.
Papa told us that the church had been attacked. The Nationalist government was convinced that Communism was a foreign idea, thus the church must be a hiding place for Communists.
“Dick was fortunate to depart earlier,” Papa said. “He could have been captured and murdered if he had stayed.”
We learned that all the escape routes from Nanking to inland and coastal cities were now controlled by warlords who had become allies of the Nationalists.
The city of Nanking showed no sign of what was about to take place as we gathered on Sunday morning at the church. People believed that what had happened in Chin-kiang wouldn’t happen here, because Nanking was a capital city and had a number of foreign embassies.
Absalom led the Bible reading. We studied chapter twenty-seven, Paul’s voyage to Rome. I had difficulty concentrating. I worried about Dick and the safety of the baby inside me. Tracing the words with my finger, I followed Absalom. “And when neither sun nor stars in many days appeared, and no small tempest lay on us, all hope that we should be saved was then taken away…”
As Absalom strained to convince us that God would not let evil win, a young red-haired officer from the American Embassy ran in. He was breathless and drenched in sweat.
“Yes, sir?” Absalom was annoyed by the interruption. “How can I help you?”
The officer passed a letter to Absalom and said, “The consul general has ordered the immediate evacuation of all Americans in Nanking.”
“What is going on?” Absalom put down the Bible.
“The Chinese government informed us that it has lost control over the spreading chaos.” The officer spoke quickly. “There have been riots in the provinces of Shandong, Anhui, and Jiangsu. Mobs and soldiers have killed foreigners.”
“We have seen none of this in Nanking,” Absalom responded. “Are you sure our consul general is not making a storm out of a little breeze?”
“Sir, I must move on,” the officer said and excused himself.
The church was silent.
All eyes were on Absalom.
Absalom gave an unconcerned expression as he picked up the Bible. He turned a page and began to read. His voice was calm, as if nothing had happened. “And now I exhort you to be of good cheer: for there shall be no loss of any man’s life among you, but of the ship. For there stood by me this night the angel of God, whose I am, and whom I serve…”
Absalom asked the crowd to join him, and we followed. “Saying, Fear not, Paul; thou must be brought before Caesar and God hath given thee all them that sail with thee, wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer, for I believe in God…”
Papa was becoming nervous. Finally he couldn’t contain himself. “Absalom,” he called.
Absalom ignored him.
“Master Absalom.” Papa’s voice trembled.
“Yes, Mr. Yee?” Absalom was visibly disturbed. “You’d better have a good reason for interrupting like this.”
With a note of panic in his voice, Papa cried, “ Nanking will be the next Chin-kiang!”
“Calm down, Mr. Yee!”
“Time is short,” Papa pleaded. “You and your family need to evacuate right away!”
“What are you talking about, Mr. Yee?” Absalom stared at him.
“Where do you suggest that we go?”
“Home, Master Absalom!”
“We are home.”
“No! I mean your home in America!” Papa began to stutter. “Sir, your life is in danger!”
“I’ll be going nowhere.” Absalom responded firmly. “My home is China.”
Pearl watched the evacuation of all her Western friends. Laborers worked day and night carrying cases and bags toward the river, where steamboats waited. The last American family to depart was the embassy doctor’s. When their boat pulled away, Pearl lost her composure.
“What if Carol gets sick?” she cried to Absalom. “What if you fall off your donkey and break a leg?”
Absalom replied, “Chinese people have survived thousands of years without Western medicine.”
“What if surgery is needed?” Pearl asked.
“God will take care of us.”
“Please, Father, this is a practical matter.”
“I am talking about a practical matter.” Absalom became impatient. “You must have faith in God.”
“I have a sick child, Father, and I can’t do without a doctor.”
Absalom spoke without looking at Pearl. “God’s work requires sacrifice.”
“God’s work?” Pearl became angry. “It’s your work! It’s Absalom’s glory, Absalom’s obsession! Why should the rest of us sacrifice for you?”
Grace joined Pearl, begging her father to reconsider.
“What’s wrong with you all?” Absalom yelled. “By all means go ahead and evacuate! Get going before the steamboats are gone.”
“We can’t leave without you,” both Pearl and Grace said. “You are an old man!”
“The Lord won’t let anything happen to me.” Absalom was confident. “He needs me to do his work.”
The air smelled like it was burning. The streets of Nanking had turned ghostly. Businesses were closed. Nearly all foreigners had already fled. Pearl and Absalom hid inside their house. Although Pearl ’s servants were willing to stay on, Pearl insisted that they leave. She promised that she would hire them back once the danger was over. The servants departed. They knew that if they stayed, they could be killed for having served the foreigners.
Papa and I got busy trying to fill the water jars and stockpile food. Each day we checked on Pearl ’s family. Pearl told me that Absalom had become a problem. He refused to stay inside. He believed that what was happening was perfect for his work. “Desperate people turn to God,” he said.
Pearl and Grace came to Papa for help. They begged him to find a way to stop Absalom.
Papa challenged Absalom on his Chinese translations of the Bible. The two men argued loudly.
“It’s not an error,” Papa insisted. “Some of the stories just don’t make sense in Chinese.”
Eventually, Absalom decided to sit down and work on his revisions.
In only a few days, the streets were filled with strangers. The boarded-up shops were broken into. People were running and others chasing. Screams and shouts could be heard day and night. I could hear the sound of distant gunshots.
I visited the university, wondering what had happened there. The campus was as quiet as a cemetery. I went to the science building and saw windows with bullet holes in them. Then I saw bloodstains on the sidewalk.
“Help!” I heard a voice.
To my horror, I found a foreigner hiding behind the bushes in a pool of blood. He had been shot in the chest. “Help!” the man cried, struggling to speak. “I am the dean of the school and I… am an American missionary.”
Before I could ask for his name, he passed out.
“Sir! Sir!” I knelt and shook him.
The man died in my arms. The sound of gunshots was so near now that I listened for the whistling of bullets. I set the dead man down and covered him with my blouse. I walked toward the town. The wind felt cool on my face. It was an otherwise perfect spring day with camellias blossoming.
There was a woman running toward me. Her arms were waving frantically in the air.
I recognized her. “Lilac!”
“The mobs have come!” Lilac yelled. “They are looking for foreigners! They have already killed one. I heard that he was the dean of the university.”
“Lilac, that man died in my arms!”
Lilac saw the blood on my hands and clothes. The color drained from her face.
We took shortcuts through the hills toward Pearl ’s house. I regretted not insisting that Pearl and her family leave days ago. Panic began to overtake me as I pictured the mob. Lilac told me that she had witnessed the murders of Chinese Christians, our friends and neighbors.
Pearl felt fortunate that everyone in the family had survived so far. The house had been looted three times by soldiers and groups of angry men. Every valuable thing had been taken. The last group had left disappointed because nothing was left.
Absalom’s forehead was bleeding. He had tried to stop the mob and had been knocked down. Even that hadn’t stopped Absalom from continuing to reason with the intruders. He was determined to show God’s grace. It had been Papa who had offered his last money to the looters so they would leave.
Pearl was devastated to learn that the dean of the university, a personal friend, had been killed.
“More soldiers will be coming to Nanking,” Papa predicted.
Pearl and Grace held their children. Grace wept. The sisters wondered if it would be wise to separate the family.
Papa told Pearl that soldiers and mobs were everywhere and that it wasn’t safe to be outside. “They will shoot the moment they see a foreigner.”
Absalom talked again about faith in God.
Pearl turned away.
Absalom suggested that they all pray together. “Let us properly prepare to meet our fate.”
No one responded.
Absalom went to his room and closed the door.
Pearl and Grace looked at each other. Their eyes were filled with tears.
I was afraid. No one knew what to do.
Pearl took a pen and paper and began to write quickly.
“I’m going to the pier,” she announced. “Perhaps a foreign ship might take pity on us. It won’t hurt to try. I am writing down all our names.”
“Let me do it,” I volunteered. “You’d be a walking target with your blonde hair.”
Pearl gave me the folded letter. “Give this to anyone whom you think could help us.”
“Let me go,” Papa offered. “The soldiers will rape Willow. Besides, she is pregnant.”
“No, Papa,” I said. “You are old…”
Before I could say more, Papa took the letter from Pearl and left the house. I had never seen him run so fast. His small frame bounded like a deer as he moved out of sight.
We dared not light candles. The children were asleep. Pearl and Grace stood behind the front door. They listened to every sound. I was exhausted from carrying water to the house and tried to sleep on a straw mat on the floor. I thought about Dick and Papa and prayed for their safety.
Hours later, a loud banging on the door woke me from a deep sleep.
Thinking it was the mob, everyone jumped up.
“Who is it?” Pearl asked.
“Open the door, please! It’s me, Soo-ching!”
“Do I know you?” asked Pearl.
“Yes, I delivered my son in your backyard!”
“What?”
“My name is Soo-ching, and my son’s name is Confucius!”
“Oh, Confucius, yes, I remember!” Pearl opened the door.
A heavy manure stink came with her into the room.
“What has happened to you, Soo-ching?” Pearl asked.
“I poured a bucket of feces over myself for safety,” she said.
“How can I help you?” Pearl asked.
“Help me? No, I’m here to help you! Because tomorrow you will be dead!”
“What do you mean, Soo-ching?”
“I was forced to cook for the soldiers. They are preparing a celebration banquet for tomorrow. I asked what for, and they said they were going to kill all the foreigners in Nanking, tomorrow!”
Pearl’s face turned pale.
“I come to offer you a hiding place, Mrs. Pearl,” Soo-ching said.
“How kind of you, Soo-ching!” Pearl cried.
“Buddha blesses you, Pearl. You offered me a drop of water when I was dying of thirst. Now it is my turn to offer you a flowing creek.” Soo-ching turned to introduce her son. “Confucius, come and pay your respect.”
Confucius, a stick-thin, cross-eyed boy, bowed to Pearl.
With tears in their eyes, Pearl ’s family, including Absalom, gathered. They followed Soo-ching and arrived at her thatched hut.
The moment Soo-ching opened the door, mosquitoes came swarming out like brown balls. They targeted our faces, arms, and legs. Their buzzing was like ten erhus playing at the same time.
“Everyone stays away because of the stink,” Soo-ching said.
As soon as Pearl, Grace, Absalom, and the children had let themselves into the hut, Soo-ching moved bales of hay against the door to seal it shut and make it difficult to open. She brought buckets of donkey piss and slopped it on the hard-packed ground before the door.
Papa showed up exhausted. He hadn’t been able to find any help. I asked what he’d done with Pearl ’s letter. He told me that he had given it to Carpenter Chan. “He’ll find a boat if there is a boat to be found.”
I was upset. “ Pearl has been waiting for your return.”
Papa said that it was time for us to think about our own survival. “Have you heard anything from your husband?” he asked. “I thought he would come to fetch you.”
“Dick did send a message,” I said. “But who is going to help Pearl and her family?”
“We have done our best,” Papa replied.
“Why don’t you go and find yourself a hiding place?” I was disappointed.
“I will.”
I never anticipated what would happen next: Papa and I were kidnapped in broad daylight. Unable to resist a reward, an acquaintance sold Papa to the soldier mobs.
The informer pointed at Papa. “This man knows exactly where the foreigners are hiding.”
Papa and I realized that we were dealing with professional soldiers whose leader was a warlord we used to know, Bumpkin Emperor.
It had been over twenty years since I had first met him. The man had gone from being a local warlord to becoming the commander of the Nationalist forces in our region. Bumpkin Emperor claimed that he had killed more foreigners than anyone else in the country. He was responsible for the dean’s death.
The soldiers prepared to torture us. They wanted to know the hiding place of the foreigners. I clenched my teeth and prayed. The soldiers choked me with hot-pepper water until I passed out.
I woke to a clean room. Papa was sitting next to me.
I sensed his nervousness and asked, “Papa, where are we?” I saw that his fingertips were wrapped in cloth bandages.
“Have some water, Willow.” He passed me the cup.
“No, Papa. Please, first explain what happened.”
“I’m getting you out of here.”
“Papa, what is going on?”
“I made a deal, and we are both going to be released.”
“Deal?” I stared at him. “What kind of deal? What did you do?”
He avoided my eyes.
“Speak, Papa!” I tried not to let my imagination run wild.
“The important thing is that both of us are safe,” he insisted. “Look at you, blood all over. You could have lost your baby.”
The possibility of what he might have done hit me.
“Don’t tell me, Papa, you didn’t…” I stopped, realizing what must have happened.
Papa lowered his head.
“This can’t be! No! Papa, it mustn’t be…”
Papa began to cry like a guilty child.
I could feel my blood freeze in my veins.
“I have committed a terrible crime.” Papa spoke in a small voice. “I deserve to go to hell.”
I pulled at his arms and shook him. “No! You didn’t do it!”
“They used sharpened bamboo splinters and shoved them under my fingernails.” He raised his hands and pulled off the cloth, revealing bloody fingers. “They said that they were going to kill you if I refused to cooperate.”
“You told them where Absalom and Pearl were hiding?”
Collapsing to his knees, Papa nodded.
“There are no foreigners here!” Soo-ching and Confucius shouted as they tried to push the soldiers away from the hut.
A crowd gathered and watched in fear.
One soldier hit Soo-ching with the butt of his rifle. She stumbled back, dazed, and her nose started to bleed.
Confucius jumped on the soldier and bit him.
Other soldiers pulled Confucius off and kicked the boy in the stomach.
Standing hidden in the crowd, Papa and I were ashamed and scared.
“Let’s burn the hut,” one soldier suggested.
The other soldiers agreed. “Let’s roast the foreigners!”
“No!” Soo-ching screamed.
The crowd moved forward. “There are no foreigners in the hut!” They began to push the soldiers.
The sharp crack of a gunshot came. A man in a high-collared military uniform with bars on his shoulders strode through the crowd. It was Bumpkin Emperor. A row of bright gold buttons ran down the center of his jacket. Medals were pinned across his chest. His hat looked like a lotus pad.
“Is there anyone here hungry for a bullet?” Bumpkin Emperor’s fat cheeks quivered.
Soo-ching crawled to him and grabbed his legs. “Respected general,” she cried. “Please spare my home!”
“Only if you produce the foreigners.” Bumpkin Emperor waved his pistol.
“I know nothing of foreigners,” Soo-ching cried.
“Mother of louses! How dare you lie to me?” Bumpkin Emperor slapped her face. He turned to his soldiers. “What are you idiots waiting for?”
“Please!” Soo-ching pulled at Bumpkin Emperor’s arms.
“You stinking female hog!” He kicked her. “Get off me!”
The soldiers came. They removed the bales of hay from in front of the door.
Bumpkin Emperor walked to the door and kicked it open.
Soo-ching threw herself at Bumpkin Emperor’s feet. “I will die first before you burn my home!”
Bumpkin Emperor walked away from Soo-ching and fired a shot at her.
“Mother!” Confucius screamed.
The soldiers pinned Soo-ching down, and she squirmed to be free.
“You are going to have a lingering death, crazy lady!” Waving his pistol, Bumpkin Emperor ordered, “Skin the rabbit and set fire to the hut!”
The soldiers started to tie Soo-ching with a rope.
Lit straws were thrown on top of the roof.
A voice came. “Stop in the name of God!”
Absalom filled the opening at the door of the hut.
Behind him stood Pearl, Grace, and the children.
“Tie the foreigners,” Bumpkin Emperor ordered. “Line them up.”
“Absalom!” Papa threw himself at Absalom’s feet.
“Mr. Yee, my friend!” Absalom replied.
Papa slapped his cheeks with both hands. “I have betrayed you! I gave in to the torture! May God punish me.”
Papa turned to Bumpkin Emperor and pleaded, “These foreigners have done China no wrong. They have been living with us all their lives. Look, this is Pearl. You remember her when she was a little girl? She was raised in Chin-kiang under your lordship…”
“Stay away or you will die with them!” Bumpkin Emperor yelled.
“Your lordship!” Papa cried.
The soldiers dragged Papa away.
Absalom, Pearl, Grace, and the children were lined up against the burning hut.
I no longer knew where I was. All I could think about was Dick’s knife in a basket in my kitchen. My legs began to carry me home. I ran.
When I returned, a larger crowd had gathered. Many of the people were from surrounding towns and villages, having sought refuge in our city from the chaos. They outnumbered the city folks. Among them were many who believed foreigners were China ’s curse. They felt that the sooner we got rid of them, the better.
I pushed my way through the crowd, shoving people aside to reach Bumpkin Emperor. My intent was to stab him.
“You!” He saw me.
I held back, hiding Dick’s knife under my shirt.
Bumpkin Emperor was standing near where Absalom, Pearl, Grace, and the children had been lined up. While I had been gone, their hands had been tied behind their backs.
I hoped I could reach Bumpkin Emperor before he shot me.
“I’ll die first,” Absalom said in a calm voice. He looked at his daughters and grandchildren. “We will be with God.”
Terrified, the crowd watched in silence.
Absalom turned to face the crowd and started to sing.
The greatest gift the world has known
When the God of Glory
Who is full of mercy
Sent His Son
Pearl, Grace, and the children joined him.
Love has come
Hope has begun
Still a higher call
Had He, deliverance from our sins
“Master Absalom,” the Chinese Christians called out as they dropped to their knees and joined in the singing.
For by the sin of man we fell
By the Son of God
He crushed the power of Hell
Death we fear no more
Absalom sang as if he were in his church.
“Prepare to shoot!” Bumpkin Emperor shouted.
I moved behind Bumpkin Emperor and took out the knife.
Hearing the noise, Bumpkin Emperor turned. I could clearly see his big frog eyes.
I have no memories after that. I only knew that I had lifted the knife and then everything went dark.
“You are an ant who tries to shake a pine!” was what I was told Bumpkin Emperor had said, after one of his soldiers had hit me in the back of the head.
When I opened my eyes I heard “Kill the rice Christians!” I discovered that my hands were tied behind my back and I was on the ground. The back of my head throbbed with pain.
“Have mercy!” I heard Pearl beg. “ Willow is pregnant!”
“Pregnant?” Bumpkin Emperor laughed. “Good! I will save a bullet!”
The soldiers lifted me and placed me next to Absalom.
“Praise the Lord,” Absalom said. “He will bless you with courage.”
Papa threw himself to the ground and kowtowed to Bumpkin Emperor. “Let my daughter go!”
Soldiers beat Papa with their rifles until he was silent.
“ Willow, we are going home,” Absalom said to me.
I looked into Absalom’s eyes. I saw no fear-only confidence and love.
“The angels are here,” he murmured. “God is waiting for us.”
I shut my eyes and leaned against Absalom. I didn’t want to die.
The soldiers took up their positions and pointed their rifles at us.
Bumpkin Emperor shouted, “Get ready and… f-”
Before Bumpkin Emperor finished his sentence, the earth leaped beneath me. There was a flash followed by a loud roar.
I lost my balance and fell.
Clods of dirt rained down.
I choked as clouds of dust rolled across the ground.
“What is happening?” I heard Bumpkin Emperor yell.
“It must be the Christian God showing his anger!” Papa’s voice said.
The soldiers ran like scattered monkeys.
When the dust cleared, I saw that hills near the city were burning and black smoke spiraled into the sky.
“The American fleet is here!” Carpenter Chan and Lilac shouted, running along the riverbank toward the crowd.
Another round of explosions came. The earth trembled again. There was more dust and smoke and flames.
My ears filled with a ringing sound. It was as if someone had stuffed them with cotton.
Bumpkin Emperor followed his soldiers and ran as fast as he could.
The crowd scattered, and soon we were alone in front of Soo-ching’s burned-down hut.
Carpenter Chan untied Pearl ’s ropes. “Sorry it took so long for me to deliver your letter!”
“What letter?” Absalom asked.
“How did you do it, Chan?” Pearl’s face was animated withexcitement.
“I thought I was never going to find any help, but I was lucky,”
Carpenter Chan replied. “I found the American fleet near the mouth of the Yangtze and managed to get your note to their leader. He sent one warship.”
“God has heard our prayers,” Absalom said in his loud preacher’s voice.
Pearl stared at the river. She then turned to Lilac, who was tending to Carpenter Chan’s blistered feet.
The warship steamed along the shore. Flames burst from the muzzles of the cannons and there were more explosions in the hills. The ground kept shaking. I watched Pearl ’s lips as she said, “ Thank you, America.”
Twenty-four hours was all she had to say good-bye. She would be uprooted and transplanted to America, a country she called home but barely knew. Later in her life, this last day in China would haunt her. It never stopped haunting her as long as she lived. It was useless to tell herself, “My roots in China must die.”
Life simply caught her. The American captain wouldn’t wait. His ship was literally the last boat leaving China. Pearl had only a few hours to pack up forty years of her life.
I convinced myself that our separation would be temporary. Since we had been children, it had happened before. She had gone to Shanghai and then America, but always she had returned. I had no doubts that we would see each other again.
Pearl said that she didn’t feel at home when she was anywhere else, even when she was in America, her birthplace. When she talked of home, she meant China.
“How could I go someplace else when my mother’s grave is here?” she once said.
Pearl was used to accepting reality. She knew that Bumpkin Emperor and his kind would return and murder again. “There is a positive side to moving to America,” she reasoned. “Carol will receive better medical care there.”
“What about Lossing?” I asked.
“I haven’t heard from him,” Pearl said. “He hasn’t bothered to send one word or to try to find out how his daughter is.”
The American captain insisted that Pearl and Grace leave all their belongings behind. Pearl wanted to take Carie’s piano, but she had to give that up. Instead she took Carie’s sewing machine.
Absalom gathered his congregation at the church and announced that Carpenter Chan would take his place. Carpenter Chan was to head the Nanking church while Papa continued to head the Chin-kiang church.
But Carpenter Chan had no confidence in himself. With tears filling his eyes, he pleaded, “Old Teacher, I am not capable of doing as good a job as you.”
“God has let me know that you’re the one to carry on in my place.”
Absalom told Carpenter Chan that if he ran into difficulty, Papa would be there to help.
Papa was touched-he couldn’t believe that Absalom’s feelings hadn’t changed after he had betrayed him.
While the children’s choir sang, Absalom delivered his final sermon. It was the first time Lilac’s youngest son, Triple Luck Solomon, led the singing. The young man had inherited his mother’s beauty. Carie would have loved his sweet voice. We all wished Pearl ’s family a safe journey to America.
I told Pearl that I would take care of her garden. “I’ll bring fresh flowers to Carie’s grave in the spring.”
“I’ll return soon,” Pearl promised.
If I had known that this was the last time we would see each other, I would have held her longer and closer. I would have made an effort to remember how she looked, the clothes she wore and the expression on her face. I would have perhaps tried to talk her out of leaving.
But I didn’t know. In fact, we wanted to get the pain of saying goodbye over with as quickly as possible. The sooner the parting was over, the sooner we could start working our way back together. Pearl was not usually one to dwell on sadness. It was Carie’s training to press back and swallow your bitter tears. Always look forward and be hopeful.
We all started for the river. Lilac came with her children and Soo-ching brought her son, Confucius.
We carried the family’s luggage to the smaller boat waiting to take them out to the warship in the middle of the river.
The large ship excited the children. They called it a big floating temple.
Carpenter Chan followed Absalom. He had been weeping and begging. “I can’t do without you, Old Teacher!”
Papa echoed, “Absalom, without you as our compass we will lose our direction on the sea.”
“Have faith in God” was Absalom’s reply.
“But there are qualities needed in a pastor I don’t possess,” Carpenter Chan insisted. “People won’t follow me the way they follow you! Monkeys will flee when the big tree is down. I am afraid the church will fall apart.”
“Carpenter Chan is right,” Papa agreed. “No matter how hard we work, people see God’s spirit in you, Absalom-not in us.”
Wang Ah-ma, Carie’s former servant and Pearl and Grace’s nanny, arrived to say good-bye. The seventy-year-old woman surprised everyone. After Carie died, Wang Ah-ma had moved back to the provincial village where she had grown up. After hearing the news of foreigners being murdered in Chin-kiang and Nanking, she had come to check on Absalom, Pearl, and Grace. Wang Ah-ma hadn’t known that she was reaching Nanking just in time for the family’s final departure.
“Wang Ah-ma!” Pearl and Grace cried, getting down on their knees to kowtow.
“My sweet girls!” Wang Ah-ma touched Pearl and Grace all over with her trembling hands. She said that her sight was failing and that she could barely see.
“You shouldn’t travel so far.” Pearl wiped her tears.
“When will you return to China?” Wang Ah-ma wanted to know. “Before the New Year or after?”
“What’s the difference?” everyone asked.
“The fortune-teller predicted that I will expire soon after the New Year,” Wang Ah-ma replied.
“Grace and I would like to prove that you wasted your money on the fortune-teller,” Pearl said.
Wang Ah-ma smiled, cupping Pearl ’s face with her hands. “My child, promise that you will come back as soon as you can.”
“I promise.” Pearl gently kissed Wang Ah-ma’s cheeks.
“On board now or never!” the captain of the American warship yelled through a loudspeaker.
Wang Ah-ma let go of Pearl and Grace as she broke down.
The family got on the smaller boat that would take them to the warship. Absalom went to stand in the bow with his back to shore. Looking out across the water, he seemed frozen.
The horn blasted.
The Chinese Christians moaned, “Old Teacher, Absalom!”
Carpenter Chan and Papa sobbed like two abandoned children.
“May the wind blow in your favor!” the crowd chanted.
Absalom was no longer at the spot where he had been standing. It was as if he had suddenly vanished.
“Father!” Pearl and Grace called.
Papa was stunned. “Oh, dear God, Old Teacher has changed his mind!”
Running along the gunwale, Absalom moved quickly. Like a mountain goat, he jumped into the water and began to swim toward the shore.
“Old Teacher!” the crowd cheered. “Old Teacher!”
“Absalom has decided to stay with us!” Papa cried.
Carpenter Chan waded into the water and swam toward Absalom.
“Captain, help!” Grace cried. “Please, stop my father!”
The crowd received Absalom with happy tears.
A few minutes later the American captain arrived from the warship on another small boat. He talked with Pearl.
I could guess exactly what Pearl said to the American captain. She would have said, “Let the fighting angel be.”
When Pearl, Grace, and the children went aboard the ship, Absalom smiled. He waved good-bye to his daughters and grandchildren. His long arms rose like flagpoles in the air.
Pearl waved back. I sensed that she knew that she had made the right choice in letting go of her father.
What Pearl did not know was that she would never see her father again. Absalom would continue to do what he loved all the way to the end. One day Absalom would deliver his sermon. Afterward he would tell Carpenter Chan that he would take a break. Minutes later Carpenter Chan would find him in his room, lying on his bed as if sleeping. But he would be dead. Before that moment, Absalom had lived his dreams. With the help of Papa and Carpenter Chan, Absalom had built the largest Christian community in southern China.