"Oh Jesus."
"See! I can't tell you a thing without you having a negative attitude you ask me to tell you, then you say something smart."
"O.K. O.K…. I'm sorry. But anyway, I'll bet it looks great." He held off. "How short is it?"
There was no answer on the other end.
"It can't be all that short, can it?"
"It's short."
"How short?"
"It's an Italian boy cut."
"What?"
"It's called an Italian boy cut."
"Oh Jesus…"
"That's it! Get your own lunch. I'm going to the motel."
"Oh, for God's sake, Norma, you're not going to any motel. I'll be home in a little while."
Macky had been home for ten minutes but Norma would not come out of the bedroom. Finally, after much coaxing, she stood in the doorway. He looked at her but did not react.
"Well, don't you have anything to say? I know you're just dying to say something get it over with, just go ahead."
"Well… it's short all right."
Norma burst into tears. "I'm ruined… I look awful… It's horrible? I just want to die. I was supposed to look like Audrey Hepburn…. It looked cute in the picture."
"Oh, honey, honey, stop it. It looks cute."
"No, it doesn't. You're just saying that to make me feel better."
"No, I'm not… It's cute. Really."
Later that night, just before Norma was about to fall asleep, Macky turned over and said, "Honey, I just wanted you to know one thing…"
"What."
"You are the sexiest Italian boy I ever slept with."
There was a pause. Then Norma patted his hand. "Muchos gracias, senior."
Bobby had finished his high school equivalency test in the army and he had been home about four months when he finally decided that he would go to college after all and try to get a degree in something. In what he did not know. At one time Doc had hoped he would follow in his footsteps and become a pharmacist but, considering how bad Bobby was at math and chemistry, that was obviously out. He guessed maybe he would take business administration but he still was not sure about it. A week before he was to leave he was out on the porch thinking about it when he looked up and saw old Miss Henderson, his sixth grade teacher, home from her summer vacation, slowly coming up the front steps of the house. "Hello, Robert," she said, a little winded. "Your mother told me you were home."
He jumped up, surprisingly happy to see her. "Hello, Miss Henderson, how are you?" he said and pulled out a chair for her to sit down.
"Just fine," she said, sitting down. She said, "You're headed off to college, is that right?"
"Yes, ma'am, Missouri State."
She started to rummage around in her purse, looking for something. "I wanted to stop by before you left and give you a little present I had for you. I had hoped to give it to you when you graduated from high school but you had already left for the army so I thought I'd bring it to you now."
She handed Bobby a slightly frayed package that had clearly been wrapped for a long time. Bobby was thoroughly surprised. "Thank you, Miss Henderson." As he was unwrapping it, she said, "You know, Bobby, you may not have known it, but you were always one of my favorite pupils."
"Me?" he said. "You're kidding."
Inside was a beautiful leather miniature map of the world with a written note attached that said Yours for the taking. Good luck in all you do. Miss Henderson.
Bobby was overwhelmed. "I don't know what to say, Miss Henderson, except thank you."
"You're welcome."
"You know, Miss Henderson, I always thought I must have been the dumbest one in your class."
She smiled. "Well, you may not have made the best grades and you were not the easiest boy to keep quiet, but you had that one thing most of the others didn'tyou had a curious mind. And a curious mind is what we teachers look for."
Bobby, who had been caught so off guard, suddenly remembered his manners. "Oh, sorry, Miss Henderson, can I get you some iced tea or anything to drink?"
"No, I can't stay. But your mother also tells me you are struggling a little trying to decide what you are going to major in, is that right?"
"Yes, ma'am. I just hope I don't flunk out."
She nodded. "Having had you as my student for two years and knowing you as well as I do, all I can advise is for you to be sure to study something that you really like, Bobby, a subject that can hold your interest and if you do, I know you will do just fine."
"Thank you, Miss Henderson," he said as she walked back down the stairs, "And thank you for the map."
He thought about what she said, but he was interested in everything in the world and it was still hard to pin down to one thing. He still had not made up his mind until he arrived on campus and reread all the options available. Everyone was surprised when he called home and announced what he had chosen. The only person who was not surprised at the news when she heard it was Miss Henderson. As far as she was concerned, American history was perfect for Bobby.
However, in the romance department, many times when a person does not know what is bad for them, they often do not know what is good for them, either. Bobby started dating Lois Scott, an English major, in his sophomore year after more or less playing the field. He had met her through a friend and, as it turned out, she was from Poplar Bluff and they had a lot of friends in common. Her mother had even been to his house to see his mother's radio show and had exchanged letters with her. On their first date Lois took him out on the tennis court and beat the socks off him. She was smart, attractive, had a great sense of humor, beautiful red hair, and most important, she was crazy about him.
The Christmas holidays of 1955 came rolling around and on the morning of December 23 a proud Macky Warren stood outside the hardware store and waved at his daughter, Linda, as she marched by with Dixie Cahill and sixteen other little girls in costumes, all wearing jingle bells, headed over to be on Dorothy's Christmas show. Norma and Aunt Elner were already sitting in the audience, waiting along with Ernest Koonitz and the hand bell choir from the Methodist church. Ed, the barber, had already made up his first batch of eggnog and Bess and Ada Goodnight were dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Santa Glaus and over at the grammar school giving out presents, as usual. There was a new tree at the house but it was decorated with the same old ornaments, and the lights they always had, the same cream-colored cardboard candles with the blue lights, were in every window. Anna Lee and her husband, William, who was now a practicing dermatologist in Seattle, Washington, and their little girls had already arrived to spend Christmas at home. The only thing different this year was that Bobby was bringing Lois Scott home for Christmas.
Dorothy had taken to Lois in two seconds, in the mysterious way women do when they know the perfect daughter-in-law has just walked in the door. The next thing Bobby knew they were all chummy and were sharing little secrets with each other. And it was not only his mother; everybody liked her right away Mother Smith, Anna Lee, and Doc. Jimmy even remarked, "Now, that's more like it." At the end of the visit they had all said that she was the perfect girl for him, and that they made a perfect couple. All this "perfect" talk began to irritate him and scare him at the same time.
He did not want to be the perfect couple. Bobby wanted a stormy, passionate relationship like the ones he had seen in the movies. It was because she was so perfect for him that he did not trust it. He also knew that once he made a commitment, Lois was not the kind of girl you could fool around with and he was beginning to suspect that his own mother would take her side against him. He felt like a big fish that had to have just a few more jumps out of the water before he was reeled in for good and he could feel everybody trying to pull him in. So he made a decision. One night before she went into the dorm, he said, trying to sound as casual as possible, "You know, Lois, I was thinking. Since we are both going home for the summer, I wonder if it might not be a good idea if we were to start seeing other people for a while. We can still go out but maybe if we take a little break it might give us a chance to find out how we really feel about each other."
She seemed perfectly calm to him.
"Fine, Bobby, if that's what you want to do."
He quickly added, "We don't have to, of course it just something to think about." As she got out of the car he said, "I'll call you tomorrow."