I signed up for the National Guard to pay for college. Not to go to war.
September 11, 2001, however, swept away all hope of being able to serve my years with the Guard peacefully.
Watching the news unfold on the television, my heart sank, and my stomach turned. This changed everything. Even as a soldier, war was not a reality to me until that day. But in that instant, the possibility of me going to war became inevitable.
My friends told me I wouldn’t go anywhere. They were sure I wouldn’t be pulled out of college, but I wasn’t convinced. From that point on, I no longer could relate to my friends the same way I used to. They did not have to face what I was facing. Their lives would go on as scheduled, virtually unaffected by this act of terror. I had that sick feeling that as long as I was still in the military I would run a very high risk of getting deployed.
For the next year and a half my unit was regularly told that it was not a matter of if we would be deployed somewhere but when.
The stakes began to rise. By March 1, 2003, activation was now a certainty. If the United States went to war with Iraq, then my unit would go in after the major combat mission was over and stabilize the country. Between September 11, 2001, and the time I was activated, I lived one day at a time: ready to go, yet ready to stay.
When the call came for my unit to be activated, I adopted Psalm 91 as my own. When I did, I immediately surrendered my fears to the Lord and in return, accepted the peace that surpasses all understanding, believing that he truly would deliver me from the snare of the fowler, the perilous pestilence, and any other harm from the enemy.
When I was twenty-one years old, I traded in my college textbooks and gym shoes for combat boots and weapons of war.
Lord, help me be ready to stay on this earth and live for you and ready to join you in heaven as I live day by day.
“I will say of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:2)