I was standing in an old army chapel in my white wedding gown. The room was quiet, the mood was somber, and we all knew the hard road ahead. All I could see at the other end of the aisle was a man, my man, in army green. Only our closest family and friends were gathered on the front pews, about ten people in all. At the end of a very long walk were my father, the minister who would marry me to Joe the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. There was no beautiful music, no friends in beautiful gowns, no extended family, no photographer.
News of my fiance’s impending deployment came two weeks before the war officially began and two months before our planned wedding day. All arrangements had been made. Every single detail had been finalized. And then it all fell apart. The war began, the word came, our lives changed.
Looking down the aisle at him, all I can remember thinking is, This is not the way it should be; this is not our plan, but it was God’s plan. I was starting down a path that I had no idea how it would end. All I knew at that moment was that marrying him was right. I had no guarantees, no absolutes. For the first time in my life, there was no safety net. My future was wide open with many possibilities. I was fully aware that I may not like some circumstances that I was facing.
The uncertainty of the upcoming weeks, months, and years was in God’s hands. We were only offered one choice: to trust God. Learning to allow God to have full control is not always easy and sometimes he takes matters into his own hands. For me learning to totally trust God came at a time when I had no other choice. Sometimes I think that is what it takes. He must remove the situation fully from my hands to show that I can trust him with the one that I love.
Lord, help me to trust you with the things and people I hold most tightly to.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)