Hero Missions wasn’t the only responsibility I had in Iraq, but it was the most challenging and the most rewarding, hands down. For all the counseling that the chaplain and I gave to other people, sometimes I wished someone would ask me how I’m doing. We try to bear the burden as best we can, but it’s a lot for anybody.
At times I’d come home from a mission and break down and cry. I tried to give it to the Lord, asked God to be with that soldier’s family. One soldier had a one-year-old son, but he will never see his dad. Maybe that son was born while his dad was gone, and all he’ll have is a picture.
All of these soldiers’ deaths have affected me. I think about the ones that weren’t married. I’d sit there and think about their mom or dad getting this news right now. When I picked up their son, they didn’t even know yet. We were on the spot so fast that thoughts of their loved ones flashed though my mind: Wow. This is going to tear their hearts out.
Sometimes people wonder how, with my job, I could remain positive and upbeat and keep a smile on my face. The only reason I could do that is because of the Lord. Everything else just kind of falls into place. I don’t worry as much about danger, something happening to me. I don’t do stupid things, of course, and put myself in harm’s way by careless mistake. But once I do give myself over to the Lord, it’s a relief. It takes a lot of stress and burdens off of me.
My time in Iraq was the hardest experience I’ve ever had for a number of reasons, but the Lord sustained me and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Lord, sustain me and be my strength through each day and stage of my life.
“Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” (Psalm 63:7–8)