When Mark came home from his first combat deployment in Iraq in early May 2003, Marshele and their three children were ready. Before his homecoming, Marshele had picked up free tickets to Disney World that had been offered specifically for military families as a way to “support the troops” and show appreciation for their service.
“Subsequently I made these plans so when he arrived home we could go to Orlando and enjoy Disney World to honor him and have fun as a family,” said Marshele. “And it turned out that that was probably the worst place we could have gone.”
The crowds pressed in around them. Giant Disney characters got in their faces. The air was thick with the explosions of fireworks and the screams of people on rides.
“That whole trip was awful,” said Marshele. “It was awful for me. It was awful for the kids. That was one of the first times I could tell that something had changed for Mark.”
Normally, Mark and the entire family would have enjoyed this type of vacation as a chance to escape daily routines and concerns and bond with each other while making special memories. But this was not a normal time for Mark. He was miserable.
He was having physiological responses to the sites, the sounds, and the smells around him. He was in a sweat all the time. His heart raced, and he fought to keep panic at bay. The kids were all excited about being there, but he was so consumed with his reactions to his surroundings that he couldn’t engage with them like he wanted.
“He was trying desperately to have fun,” said Marshele. “But he was exhausted. He didn’t need Disney World. He needed something much different.”
Lord, supply us with that which we truly need; you’re the only one who can.
“My eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, O LORD, every day; I spread out my hands to you.” (Psalm 88:9)