For me the deployment was a tumultuous storm raging beneath me, threatening to swallow me whole. But during the storm, I was held up by a safety net. Yes, the water would splash on me, and get me wet, yet I would never be pulled under I would never drown. In my mind, God was the safety net protecting me and holding me day in and day out.
God comforted me through many different sources. Sometimes all it took was an encouraging conversation with an acquaintance, and other times it would be a timely Bible verse, just when I needed to hear it. I read Psalm 91 (The Soldiers’s Psalm) over and over again. I also read Song of Songs, and found hope in how the male lover is reunited with his female lover when “the season of singing comes” after the winter. Lastly, some of the great hymns of the faith were instrumental in uplifting us. Stuart and I loved “How Firm A Foundation.” The lyrics, “Fear not I am with thee oh be not dismayed for I am thy God and shall still give you aid.” This verse was such a relief to me when Stuart returned to Afghanistan after R&R (when we got engaged).
Yes, there were days that were bleak, scary, lonely, but in the end, I was never overcome. My friend once described the feeling of being prayed for as being “unnaturally buoyed.” That is absolutely true, and in a way, it was such an exciting thing. We needed God, and he was there. God answered our prayers for Stuart’s safety, and the safety of his team for which I’m still grateful to this very day. Our raw dependence on him was vital to making it through. In a way, I feel sorry for people who never get to experience their faith in such a throbbing way.
Lord, make me dependent upon you no matter how comfortable my life already is.
“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)