It was July 28, 2005. The kids and I arrived home from dropping Scott off at the airport to a driveway littered with his residual attempts of packing for Qatar. Two years prior, our family left this civilian community for our new military installation. We had returned home for Scott’s second deployment, counting on the support we expected from the people who knew us best.
I adopted a genuine, “I can do this” attitude about the deployment. But I couldn’t do it alone, and most good intentions to help, from the people we loved fell by the wayside. As I struggled to take care of our young children (ages two, four, and six years old), I felt alone and abandoned. At one point I bordered depression. I tried my best to smile, to fake like all was okay, and to convince myself it was. But it wasn’t.
Upon my husband’s return we PCS’d (permanent change of station), I carried residual hurt and anger. Many nights I would lie awake and ask God, “What do I do with this?” and “Where do I go from here?”
As time passed I heard other military wives share their stories of hurt and disappointment because of the lack of support from their churches. I realized that our churches and others who loved us do not intentionally forsake their support they just don’t understand our struggles. To create an awareness of the challenges of the military home front, the website Operation We Are Here was born. This became a site to offer practical suggestions, support, and encouragement.
Over time, God removed my hurts and redeemed a very painful year for His glory. I was committed to honor him despite my circumstances. I learned by experience that people (even those who love us) will disappoint us and that our circumstances hold no guarantees. But importantly, I was reminded that God will not abandon me. He is good, and I continue to put my hope and my trust in Him.
Father, when life is tough and just doesn’t make sense, help me to take my eyes off of myself and lift my gaze to You, for only You can satisfy.
“Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup, and have made my lot secure.” (Psalm 16:5)