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It was nighttime. It was also the end of the fourth day of the curfew that kept them prisoners in their home. The heat of the day would never fully dissipate. Without the comfort that they were so accustomed to before coming to Iraq, Brandt’s wife leaned over and asked, “What are we doing here?” Brandt would answer, “Well, we are following Jesus.” She would reply with an affirming, “I know, but man…”
His wife would not be the only one to bear the strain, the hardship. Brandt waded through confusion. “Why are we here? Why did God ask us to be at this place at this time.” Brandt and his wife, Gail, would sit together and read in Luke 9 where Jesus was speaking to his disciples and to the people. Luke 9:23 says, “If anyone wishes to come after me let him deny himself.”
When you cannot do your own shopping; when you do not have freedom of movement, and you know there are evil people that would like to see you dead; you get a sense of what it means to deny yourself.
Jesus also said, “Take up your cross daily and follow me.” On some days, Brandt would just ask, “Lord, how much do I need to deny myself? How heavy must my cross be? How far do I have to follow you?” The answer would come quietly and with clarity, “All the way.” There it was; Brandt was the one who had bent his knee to God, God simply said, “This is what I am asking of you at this time in your life.”
For Brandt, that was sufficient. It was a reminder that following him wasn’t necessarily the easiest path but it was the best path.
Whether in Baghdad or any other city in the world, we must ask if we are on his path. Complicated by personal sacrifice, discomfort and the constant threat of violence, Brandt found the sufficiency of Christ. Soldiers and missionaries alike find themselves denying their own personal comfort and desires. For them, life holds a far more significant purpose.
Father, teach me to deny myself and follow after you. Save my life, let my gain be you and not this world.
Then he said to them all:
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?” (Luke 9:23–25)