I saw more people killed in Iraq than in Afghanistan. Part of it was the role I played. Just seeing fresh casualties when they came in was a difficult thing. One night there were four guys that came in after an IED attack. They arrived at a typical random time unexpectedly. Each of them probably died the instant the IED detonated, as terrible damage had been done to their bodies.
It is hard to describe how sudden and devastating the loss of four young men can be. They were all in the prime of life. We learned later that one had just been commissioned out of ROTC. They were here one day, driving in their vehicle. And then a moment later, they were gone.
I think the abruptness and non-subtle way that events transpired was an eye opener for me. These experiences did not weaken my faith but strengthened it. I wondered how others went through the experience without faith. It was a lot of emotion and mental tragedy to wade through. Faith provided protection that is difficult to describe. My faith did not provide a reason why bad things happened. It did allow me to get to the point of accepting that there are some things I will not be able to figure out.
Life and especially war will not always make sense. God doesn’t promise that everything will make sense, or that he will be predictable. I do know that believing that God was larger than the events happening around me, gave me a sense of control. His control. It allowed me the freedom to have to trust God’s control of what was happening around me.
You are the God of all comfort. Please give your comfort, solace, encouragement, joy, strength, peace and assurance to those still grieving the loss of a loved one, close friend, or fellow soldier.
Jim Phillips is a physician and soldier. In 2003 he led the 2nd battalion of the 20th Special Forces Group (2/20 SFG) to Afghanistan. He was the Battalion commander. He has also served in Iraq. There he worked as a physician with the 1st Cavalry Division. Both missions served important roles in the war on terror. Both experiences gave him a deeper perspective on war and faith.
“When this is done, I will go…. And if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16)